July 16, 2022

Reflection

THE  OCEAN  OF  MARRIAGE

Marriage is a mighty ocean.

Having stood at its shore for years a couple move into its waters on their wedding day - if not earlier.

Some stay near its edge - the shore - the sure - for years - enjoying the waves - the crashing - the splashing - the surfing and the sailing.

But as time goes on some couples move out into the depths of its waters.

Marrriage can be mighty deep - hopefully.

To sail smoothly, a couple needs to be willing to dive into the emotional isssues of life together.  This takes time - lots of time. People need to learn to swim - so they won't sink or drown.  Some are scared to death of the waters.

A couple needs to allow for moods and mistakes - waves of emotions - drifting - as long as they stay together - communicating, listening, talking with each other - being open to what's happenng within each other - and their marrriage.

Figuring takes time - figuring needs time. They need to put everrything on the table - everything of each other. Figurings are the gifts of marrriage - the self- discoveries - the other-discoverings - the life discoveries.

Communion - communications - call for basic postures.

Wanting to make a marriage work is good - but it's not enough.  Wanting can be too passive.

Willingness  too is good - but it too is not enough.  Willingness is the choiice, but it needs more.  It needs actions.

Working is the key - working to make the marriage work - now that's closer to the key.

Better: it's working on specifics - particulars - behavioros - the big things - the little things like not slamming doors - putting dishes in the dishwasher - and emptying the dishwasher - handing the TV clicker to the other - asking - seeking - knocking on the other's door - and being invited within over and over again.