SAN  ALFONSO  

RETREAT  HOUSE 

WEST END, NEW JERSEY 

August  17, 2019 

Thought for today: 

“Melody is a form of remembrance …. It must have a quality  of  inevitability in our ears.”  

Gian Carlo Menotti, Time, May 1, 1950

PUT  YOUR  TWO  CENTS  IN

Take out your wallet. Put your
two cents in. Buy the lemonade.

Say, “Keep the change, Kid!” 

Watch the kid’s eyes - as well as

the beggar in the doorway. 

Hear the music. Notice what 
happens when people are nice 
to each other in the plaza, 

in traffic and in the parking lot.

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2019

August 16, 2019

SATURDAY  WEDDINGS

It’s Friday evening and thousands 

of couples meet to practice for their 

wedding and their marriage on the 

morrow. They meet in church or

chapel - temple or beach - mountain 

or river - and they go through the 

motions practicing  for tomorrow. 

And each time as priest, I pray for 

them - and I think of Grace and
Joseph Mary Plunkett -  who had 

15 minutes of marriage - 15 minutes - 

and I pray that their love - their 

vows - their promises - their dreams 

for  a lifetime last - last - last - last …. 

And then the next day, at their 

wedding ceremony,  I pray 

for them and all the couples 

present that they will realize 

and remember they only have 

so many minutes left, filled 

with all the graces God gives us. 

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2019

August 16, 2019

Thought for the Day:

 MY  DAUGHTER 

My daughter died on a warm day in July. I'm not sure exactly which day, or even that "she" was a "she" at all, if you want to be really specific. At nine and a half weeks, the organs that determined these things weren't fully formed, much less detectable by sonogram. And even though I had seen pictures on the Internet of nine-and-a-­half-week-old fetuses, the doctor refused to speak in any concrete terms. We did not say the word baby. Instead, she referred to the painful night of bleeding, cramps, and tears as the "passing of cells and tissues.”

I suppose these words, cells and tissues, were what made it easier for people to say things like "You can have more" and "Things happen for a reason.”  They did not know that in my imagina­tion she had dark hair and porcelain skin dotted with freckles like her dad. We made up silly songs together, and she danced around the house in pink tutus and patent leather shoes. She drew pictures of bright yellow suns and green grass that I had already hung up on my fridge. She would fall asleep on the giant paws of my Saint Bernard, her guardian who lovingly endured all manner of bows and barrettes fastened to his reddish brown fur. She was an athlete; she was an artist; she was my first child. She had yet to draw her first breath in this world, but she was very much alive. She even had a name.

There was no funeral, no memorial marking, a gravesite, because there was no burial. Barely anyone acknowledged that she was even gone. It felt strange mourning for someone whom no one else seemed to know existed, much less felt their absence when they were gone. Some­one who changed the direction of my life so profoundly without ever uttering a single word had left this world as unremarkably as she had entered it.

I often wonder the purpose of a life that lived for only nine weeks, just long enough to make me sick at the smell of chicken and want to lie on the couch all day. I grapple daily with the notion that all things have a purpose in a divine plan, when things feel anything but carefully designed. But I do know that this baby made me a mom for the first time, if only briefly.  And no amount of time will change that.

—   Sarah Schaffner is a freelance writer and editor living in Baltimore.

August 15, 2015

GOING  BY  GRAVEYARDS

Driving through Annapolis,

heading away from downtown,

when I’m on West Street,

when I’m going by the 3 cemeteries there -

I feel the difference between them

and  McDonalds and car dealerships.

I feel the heaviness  of  life gone by -

family loss - the last page of a book.

Those gravestones weigh me down

like the dead being tossed overboard

at sea with stones tied around the corpse.

But life goes on for me - till I’m buried

where I’m buried …. In the meanwhile

I have many more pages to be written,

many more stories to be part of …. I hope.

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2019

August  15, 2019 

Thought for today: 

“Be a first-rate version of yourself, not a  second-rate  version of someone else.” 

Judy Garland told that 

to her daughter Liza Minelli. 

Annapolis Capital, B. 5,

 January 1, 2019

August 14, 2019

Thought for today: 

“Yosemite Valley, to  me,  is always a sunrise, a glitter of green and golden wonder in a vast edifice of stone and space.”  

Ansel Adams, 

The Portfolios 

of Ansel Adams, 

NY Graphic Society/ 

Little Brown, 1981

August 14, 2019

A  MOMENT  OF  TIME

Think about it ….

To think about the times 

of one’s life means I can 

stop and look at the times 

I’ve had - sort of like taking 

a photo - and then pointing 

at a picture to ourselves 

and if it’s amazing, to say, 

“Hey look at this picture.” 

Life comes, a moment at a time…. 

Think about it …. 

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2019
Picture: With Gloria Goldberger
a short time before she died of cancer.
She and her husband, Marty,
were great friends of my brother Billy
and his wife, Joanne.

August 13, 2019

LAW  OF  GRAVITY

Was there a moment -

when God in the middle of

of a really creative mood - said,

“Wait a minute, wait a minute,

I better add some gravity

to all of this - otherwise too many

things would be crashing into

each other - and it would really

make life too, too complicated”?

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2019

August 13, 2019 -

Thought for today:

“When something needs to be painted it lets me know.”  

Luis Frangella,  

Esquire April 1986

August  12,  2019

WALLS

They have their value …. Of course ….

But like a knife or a hammer - they

can also be used to hurt another.

So we have to sit near rocks and

at the edge of differences - and talk

to one another about our questions.

Then - gates might open and fears might
come out from under our rocks - and rants 
from out of the cold caves in our minds.

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2019

Thought for today: 

“If the whole human  race  lay in one grave,  the epitaph on its headstone might  well be; ‘It seemed a good idea at  the time.’”   

Rebecca West, 

New York Times, 

October 2, 2977

IS  THIS PARABLE 

MEANT  FOR  ME? 

INTRODUCTION 

The title of my homily for this 19th Sunday in Ordinary Time  [C] is, “Is This Parable Meant for Me?”

It’s the question Peter asks Jesus in today’s  Gospel.  There it is in the beginning of the 3^rd paragraph in today’s gospel in our missalette on page 199:  “Then Peter said, ‘Lord, is this parable meant for us or for everyone?”

That’s Luke 12: 41.  Luke is our Gospel for this year - and if any gospel is the gospel with the parables - it’s Luke.

So listen up when you come to church - especially this year.

So when we come to church and we stand for the gospel - or if we’re present for the readings we ought to  be asking Peter’s question: “Lord, are any of the readings for today meant for me?”

So once more that’s the title of my homily for today: “Is This Parable Meant for Me?”

That’s one of the things the preacher is trying to do: prepare this meat well for these hungry customers.

The preacher’s job is to be a good cook - a good meat preparer.

In the seminary, during the summer, I used to be on the hamburger crew. Every Wednesday evening we prepared, grilled and served over 100 hamburgers.

Years later, in our retreat house in New Jersey - where I’m about to be stationed again - I was in on the steak cooking.  We had these big baking pans each with about 25 rectangular sirloin steaks - the size of two fists.  

On the lawn, near the picnic area, we had a 55 gallon metal drum cut in half - loaded with charcoal - with a grating on top. 

Someone came up with a  secret for serving over 100 people in quick motion. Put those pans - each with about 25 steaks - in the oven to slightly  warm them up beforehand. Then bring them out just in time to these large folding tables outside.  Then when the boys were ready to eat - they would line up with plates in hand - and head for the steaks. We the cooks would toss them on the blazing charcoal fire and the customer would yell, “Raw red”, “Medium” or “Well done.”

The raw babies would be on that stove for seconds - with the blazing flame getting better and better because of the fat from the steaks. Medium and well-done would take a little longer.

Guys would yell, pointing, “I want that one. That one is meant for me.”

There it is my sermon:  “Is This Steak, Is this Parable, Meant for Me?”

QUESTIONS

In the gospels there are about 33 parables - but often counted in various other ways.

Here’s my first question for this homily: “Pause and ponder: which parable in the gospels is meant for me?” 

Is there one parable you have wrestled with all your life?  For example: The Parable of the Prodigal Son, or at times have you felt like the Lost Sheep? Am I the man in last Sunday’s parable with the barns who is about to rebuild bigger barns and the poor sucker, Jesus tells us, is about to die that night? How about the Good Samaritan?  How about the 4 types of people who hear the word of God: the hard cement heads, the shallow, the busy with lots of projects or pots on their stove, and those with great soil?

So which parable is meant for me?

There’s a whole adult-ed course there.

Get your Bible - get a spiral note pad - do your homework?  Or you can use a computer, etc.,  etc., etc.

List them. Pick your steak. Chew it. Digest it.

Let Jesus feed you as we heard he would do in today’s gospel. He said if you are a good servant, if you wait on him, he’ll come and knock on your door, sit you down and wait on you. Yep, that’s what it says in today’s gospel, in this tricky parable for today. It’s not as clear as last weeks, but it’s here for our meal this Sunday.

NEXT  QUESTION

Looking at your life, what have been the parables that grabbed you? What have been the novels, the stories, the movies that moved you? What have been the conversations that have helped convert you, change you?

Who have been the most significant people in your life - whose questions, challenges, messages, comments - or silent example have made you who you are today?

What were the scenes you were meant to see?

Once more, the title of my homily is, “Is This Parable Meant for Me?

My dad took us four kids  to the park every Sunday when we were kids to give my mother every Sunday a break. I see my brother did the same thing taking his 7 daughters to museums in Washington every Sunday to give his wife a break. I saw my nice Jeanie’s husband David doing the same thing with their 3 kids to give her a break.

That was a parable from my dad and my brother and my niece's husband.

I saw a play on Broadway once, The Price. It was an Arthur Miller, of Death of Salesman fame, play.  One brother did college. One brother dropped out and became a cop - to take care of their father. The cop on stage says to the older brother who comes back for the will and the appraisal and the question about who gets the father’s furniture. 

The cop brother says to his brother, “You want the God Almighty handshake from me after all these years and you’re not going to get it.”  

It went something like that and I’ve seen that parable, that scene,  play out in front of me many times - in various ways - through the years - especially as priest - dealing with moments around hospital beds and wakes and funerals.

That was a parable meant for me.

They are the scenes - the moments - the stories that get stuck in our memory.

Years ago I went to a Broadway matinee  with a group of staff at a retreat house where I worked - the one I’m going back to. This parable also happened years ago.

The musical, the matinee was  No, No Nanette. The plan was to get the tickets at the door. Someone had called and they were told that there were plenty of seats - because the play had been running for quite some time.

Well, we got balcony seats along the wall and all we could see was the first third of the stage - the up-front  part.  But what we could see was the orchestra pit right down below us - in front of the stage.

I noticed a violinist playing away in the beginning and all through the musical  reading The New York Daily News and then The New York Daily Mirror.  The papers fit perfectly on the music stand.

It was a parable.

Someone was doing their job mechanically. What I got out of it was this. A priest can do mass - homilies - weddings, funerals, baptisms mechanically like that guy reading the paper while he played - or a priest can be into the music - into the prayers and the words and the ceremony completely every time - at least like the other musicians.

I was judging - but it was a parable and I heard it - so I have never, ever, ever, in the middle of a homily looked at my watch.

I try to do personal.

CONCLUSION

So that’s my homily.

The title was: “Is This Parable Meant for Me?”

And then after that main question I asked two specific  questions:

First Question: “Pause and ponder: which parable in the gospels is meant for me?” 

Second Question: “What have been the moments, the movies, the plays, the  incidents, the people doing or saying something that changed my life?”

Amen.

___________________________________________________________

P.S. I'm assuming this is my last homily at St. Mary's.

I'm also assuming that I am going to keep this blog going. I started it on June 17th, 2007 - with the help of Norm Constantine from our St. Mary's High School. He encouraged me and  set it up.

This piece is Number # 6755.

I'll be on the Atlantic Ocean in Long Branch. New Jersey at our retreat house: San Alfonso Retreat House. I'm tempted to rename it: Reflections by the Waters, but I'll stick, Reflections by the Bay.

Here's a picture of some of us Redemptorists at San Alfonso Retreat House at a recent meeting.  Like St. Mary's Annapolis, not a  bad place to be stationed.

August 11, 2019

CLIMB

We use two short sentences all 

the time: “I’m up!” or “I’m down.” 

When young,  buy a house with stairs to 

a second floor. When old - think one floor. 

Let kids climb trees, stairs, ladders and give 

them the window seat on buses and planes.

When in big cities go to the tall building and 

scope the horizon - also get to the mountains.

Okay, sometimes we’re down - in the pits - 

wanting to sit in a dark place in a basement.

That’s the time to climb every mountain and 

 experience transfiguration - Christ come again.

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2019

August 11, 2019 

Thought for today:

“The Wright  brothers’  design … allowed  them to survive long enough to learn how   to  fly.”  

Michael Potts “On the wing 

formation used in the first 

successful powered flight,”

  New York Times, April 17, 1984