October 15, 2022

Reflection

HAPPINESS

I'm still thinking of the psychologist - Doctor Robert Holden -  who was on Oprah last week.  He has a book out on happiness.  He also got his Ph.D. studying happiness.

I was on the treadmill exercising while watching Oprah.  I was happy to do that - two birds with one stone.

That program was well orchestrated.  Different people were given a test about How Happy Are You? 

There were 5 questions - or statements. People were asked to score themselves 1 to 7 - [7 being the highest].

Here are the 5 questions or statements.

1) In most ways my life is close to ideal. [    ]

2) The conditions of my life are excellent. [    ]

3) I am satisfied with my life. [    ]

4) So far, I have gotten the most important things I want in life. [    ]

5) If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing. [    ]

From: Ed Diener, University of Illinois

He then had 5 of them standing in front of the TV audience - and Oprah and others were asked to pick who they thought  scored best in the test and who didn't.

The lady whom Oprah scored second lowest - 5 out of 35 - something like that I think.

The questions cand be found on her web site.

This lady - a mother of six - said she was a people pleaser. She said she was well loved - but did nothing for herself. All she did was for others.

The lady who scored lowest - indicated she made many - several wrong life decisions - but now she's finally coming out of that way of doing life.

There was one man in the five who were on stage. He was an undertaker.  He saw his life as someone who helps folks deal with death. He was the one who said that he saw the key to life was  to be more significant than to be successful.

What would it look like to be a significant undertaker, or priest or doctor or mom or dad or friend.

As i pondered that I remembered Martin Luther King's comment: if you're a garbageman, be the best garbageman people ever met.

Words ....

I thought that I have to think about all this.

I have to get back to a book I've been writing all these years: The Eight Secret of Happiness.

I also thought about the dialogue that took place between Oprah and the people being interviewed.

They talked about joy and happiness. They talked about giving and receiving.  They talked about self-pity and pity parties.

The program  brought up and brought into the conversation thoughts about self-esteem, self-evaluation, self-understanding, self-acceptance, self-care and self-happiness.

How happy are you?

 October  15, 2022

Thought for Today

"Prayer is the mortar that holds my house together."

St. Teresa of Avila

 October 14, 2022

Reflection

SIGNIFICANT  OR  SUCCESSFUL

On Oprah today, there was  a guy named Holden on her program. He is a psychologist who has a book out on happiness.  He said what an undertaker had just said: "It's more important to be significant that to be successful." [August 23,  2007]

Significant or successful?

Success:  there is a need to reflect upon that.

For example: to raise a successful family? To have a successful job? To have a successful season?

I suppose the key is to do one's best - to serve and to love - and if one has a kid who chooses otherwise and messes up - one still one's best.

As to baseball and football only one team wins the World Series - or the Superbowl - so how does a team measure a successful season?  To have broken even or made money?  To provide good games - and great plays on the field.  To have had fun and enjoyed their jobs?

Success? Define it? Describe it?

Significant seems the more successful word - when it comes to comparing words.

But what is significant?

It seems significant is more significant than successful.

To be able to sign one's  name to one's painting or work.

To have made a difference.

To be a sign to others.

I'm not trying to be smart - but the sign of the cross is the sign of a failure - or is it the sign of resurrection and the secret of life?

To die for others.

To be a sign for others.

To lay down one's life for others - for a right cause.

Is that the ultimate success and the more ultimate significance?

 October 14, 2022

Thought to Ponder

"Old sins cast long shadows."

Old Proverb

 October 13, 2022

Reflections

MARY

The other day a lady was talking to me about this blog.

She said she liked the things I said about Mary the best.

There's a message there.

However, I couldn't recall anything I said about Mary.

Honestly....

Various people who come here to church in Annapolis, Maryland, come on Wednesday - because that's the day we have some special novena prayers to Mary.  We honor her here under the title of OLPH - Our Lady of Perpetual Help.

Wednesday is the traditional day for Mary in the Philippines - Brazil - and India. Growing up in Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church in Brooklyn. New York I saw this all through my childhood. When I went to the seminary I heard about the same thing happening on Wednesdays in Mission Church in Roxbury, Boston, Massachusetts.

There's a message here.

Question: what does Mary touch in the human heart?

For starters I'd have to say, "Momma".

I would have to remember every time I stood there seeing a mother with a child in her arms. Whenever I would say, "Hi" to the kid - if I was a total stranger - the child would turn their face from mine and bury it in their mother's embrace.

There's a message here.

I would have to say that everyone has a deep desire to always want to return to their mother's womb.

Isn't that why we say in the ancient Mary prayer, the Hail Mary, "blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus"?

We all want down deep: peace and security.

I don't get it when Protestants protest about how Catholics honor the Mother of Jesus.

I've heard people say, "We're making her God."

Nope.

I think the complaint should be against the dogma about Mary being called, "The Mother of God"  - Theotokos - in Greek.

That decree from Ephesus is an ancient decree - way before the Protestant Reformation.

I suggest that Protestants should at least honor Mary as the Mother of Jesus - the Jesus you honor and love.

In the meanwhile - go to Ephesus - delve into the fight over the title of Mary as Mother of God.

Then people might grasp and understand, Part 2, of the Hail Mary prayer: "Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen."

In the meanwhile, if you don't accept the title of Mary as  Mother of God, grab a rosary and say, Part 1 of the Hail Mary prayer: "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you, blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus."

October 13, 2022

Thought to Ponder

"He that knows little often repeats it."

 October 12, 2022

Reflection

IS  IT  WORTH  IT?

I was wondering if the question, "Is it worth it?" - is a good question to ask?

Is it the bottom line question in much of our decision making?

I don't remember ever asking that question specifically - in any of my decisions.

Yet, come to think about it, it's a good question.  It's worth thinking about whether something is worth doing.

It's a value question.

It's an energy question.

It's a use of one's time question. 

Is it worth getting out of bed this morning.

Is it worth marrying this person?

Is it worth it to become and then stay a priest.

Is it worth it?

The words "cost" and "time" and "life" appear in the background of this background question.

I'll have to re-read Dietrich Bonhoeffer's book, The Cost of Discipleship once again.

Dietrich could have stayed in England a returned to Germany - but he must have decided it was worth it.

Jesus made promises or reward to those who would leave all to follow him. He must have been aware of the question, "Is it worth it?"

Did Jesus have to make the decision in the first place -  whether to become human and whether to follow the way to Jerusalem?

In the garden,  was he asking the question, "Is is worth it?"

At the end of our life, seeing everything, hopefully we'll say,  "It was worth it."

Isn't that "Yes" the secret of happiness?"

October 12, 2022

Thought to ponder

"Let my heart be broken with the things that break the heart of God,"

Robert Pierce [1914-1978]

 October 11, 2022

Reflections

HEART  BEATS

How many heart beats will I have?

Who's counting?

It's an amazing organ - this gift in the chest - in the center of the human body,

Thank You, God! Thank You.

Thank you, mom and dad.  Thank you.

Thank you car drivers, who didn't cause and accident, that could have killed me - by stopping this heart of mine.

I'm 67.  I guess I could add up the number of heart beats a person has on an average day and then multiply that number by 67 and then by 365 and come up with a good number.

Wow!

Life!

That's my  beating heart.

What about the blinks of a lifetime? What about the words I've spoken, the steps I've taken, the meals I've eaten, the times I've fallen asleep?

A lifetime.

Heart beats seem to be the most central. 

Yet the brain can fail - my eyes could go - so too my hearing.

Yet the heart beating still seems the most central activity.

But what about breath?

I  guess I can't forget interconnections.

For starters I still want more heart beats.

 October 11,  2022

Thought to Ponder

"American life storms about us daily,  and is slow to find a tongue."

Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Letters and Social Aims

 October 10, 2022

Reflections

TRANSFIGURATION

To see God - another - gold - glass - time - life - a meal - in a new way - a new vision - a new view - wow - amazing - making tomorrow - different from today.

Transfiguration - I never thought of that before.

I never heard you speak or see or hear or sing - like this before.

Wow.

I never knew this mountain was here.

I never knew I could climb into this new view - but Christ you took me into this new view - a new scene - a new plateau.

Would I've able to understand the metaphor if I hadn't climbed the reality - having climbed a real mountain.

So thank you God for my younger days - days I climbed mountains in New Hampshire and Colorado with friends.

Jesus must have done what I have done - getting away - escaping - with friends - getting away from it all.

Go figure.

Do we have to go somewhere else - before we can figure out the right here - right now?

Transfiguration.

I like both parts of that word - the "trans" and the "figuring".

When was the last time I saw Jesus in a new light?

Go figure.

When was my last transfiguration moment?

Go figure

When was the last time I saw myself - and my life - and all life -  in a new light?

Go figure.

 October 10,  2022

Thoughts for Today

"Didn't you  hear me keeping quiet?"

Sam Goldwyn,

Quoted by Alva  Johnson,

The Great Goldwyn

 October 9, 2022

WHAT’S IT LIKE? 

20  QUESTIONS

 

INTRODUCTION

 

The title of my homily is, “What’s It Like: 20 Questions?

 

I have 20 Questions to think about as we come to the end of this retreat.

 

You have to be sitting here wondering – questioning - thinking about lots of things – just before you’re heading home.

 

I’m sure you’re wondering – questioning your life – or the lives of those you live with, work with, neighbor with -  without even realizing you have 4 or 5 good questions that came up while making this retreat.

 

Today’s First Reading and today’s  Gospel trigger the question: “What’s it like to have leprosy – a skin disease – when everyone goes, ‘Oooooh! Oooh! Ugly!  Disappear!’?”

What’s it like?

 

Maybe one of these 20 questions that I bring up – will trigger some questions you wonder about unconsciously.  Maybe one of these 20 questions will help you sum up this retreat – in a clearer way. Maybe you’ll realize it’s never over till it’s over – and you have more work ahead.

 

20 QUESTIONS

 

What’s it like to make a retreat on presence – real presence – with God and with each other – and you go home to the same old same old - being with people who are in the room  - but they are always on their phones with people in far distant rooms and interests?

 

What’s it like to go to Mass – where you experience God’s presence in the bread – and in the Love of God – and your kids and grandkids – are into sleep and sports and everything else on Sunday morning?

 

What’s it like to have terrible skin?

 

What’s it like to have dark skin – darker than anyone else in your family? You were adopted.

 

What’s it like to have more acne on your face than a stop sign has paintball gun splotches on the first road outside a paintball gun shooting range?

 

What’s it like to be alone at a wedding – and your spouse has died or left you or you had to break up – or what have you – and everyone seems connected to someone and you feel so single, so singular, and so all alone?

 

What’s it like to come into church late because it was tough getting an aged mother or four kids organized for church and the traffic was crazy and the only seats are the front row of church – and you got to go down that long aisle – feeling so conspicuous?

What’s it like to have a couple of kids – and grandkids - and you do everything possible for them and nine of them never ever say, “Thank you!”

 

What’s it like to have 2 kids with heavy duty tattoos – and at a lunch break or a coffee break – everyone is making fun of people who are so dumb for getting tattooed?

 

What’s it like to have wrinkles – lots and lots and lots of wrinkles?

 

What’s it like to have a sister with 3 college degrees and her kids college degrees on the walls of their  basement pool table and pingpong table room. You dropped out of high school – but did get a GED in your 30’s?

What’s it like to have had an abortion and you come to a church that seems to only have pamphlets and pictures at every entrance about abortion – and you don’t notice anything else and you have made your very difficult and painful peace with God twenty years ago - but it seems to get triggered every time you come to church?

 

What’s it like to be a kid that loves skateboarding and everyone curses you?

 

What’s it like to start telling a story – and you’re cut off by someone who wants to tell their story – which your story triggered – and they are louder and get more central than you?

 

What’s it like to be preaching and you notice 37 yawns and 23 watch watchings – in your 9 minute and 49 second homily?

 

What’s it like to be a Catholic and a couple of people at work say things like: “I would think someone like you would have got beyond church a long time ago?

 

What’s it like to have had a mastectomy?

What’s it like to be overweight and you’ve tried 316 different diets and you have estimated that you have taken off 1,160 pounds in your lifetime so far – and you’re 6 pounds heavier than when you started your last diet?

What’s it like to have had plastic surgery and you overhear some friends in the other room laughing at your plastic surgery?

CONCLUSION

What’s it like to be me?

What’s it like to be you?

 

October 9,  2022

Reflections 

VALUES

I have never sat down and listed my values.

I would assume two things: One, there is a list somewhere of things people think are of value; Two, I can judge for myself what my values are,

If my memory serves me, as the phrase goes, there are distinctions when it comes to talking about values.

For example, there are social values and there are religious values.

We studied stuff like this when we took Sociology in college.

I'm sure if I simply typed "values" in the search box on Google I'd get a good variety of hits.

What's the Greek word for value?

What's the Aramaic word for value?

Is Jesus talking about values when he talks about the pearl of great price and the treasure in the field?

Was Jesus getting at values when he gave us the Parable of the Good Samaritan.

I believe Christianity is teaching us that people are more important than things.

If I saw a row boat slipping and it looks like it's going to slide off a pier into the water, I would try to do something. I would look for the owner. I might yell to anyone nearby. If I thought it was going to hurt someone and I could do something, I hope I would try to do something. If there was a kid or an old man in the boat, I better try to do something.

That example tells about my values.

I would chase after a $100 bill in the wind - more than a $1 dollar bill.

In a marriage I would think listening has a higher value than speaking.

I think I would feel more sad over a 150 year old church burning that a 5 year old rather new church.

Yet I guess when it comes to values, there are many variables - and the need to say, "It all depends."

October 9. 2022

 Thoughts to Ponder

"The only  alternative to co-existence is co-destruction."

Pablu Nehru

Quote in The Observer, August 29, 1954