EXPECTATIONS
INTRODUCTION
The title of my homily is, “Expectations.”
What would you expect to hear in a homily on “Expectations.”
Advent – Preparation for Christmas – December – has many themes, one of which is expectations.
Shopping for gifts – wrapping them – wanting to surprise others - candles in windows in the dark – December – hoping to get a parking place at the mall – getting the cookies baked – cards sent – parties going just right. Worries about the economy – people out of work – hoping the new president and administration make great choices – weather watch – kids coming home – or getting plane tickets. Peace on earth – an end to fighting – expectations.
Suggestion: this week, this first week of Advent, reflect upon the theme of expectations in our life. That’s the rub, the sandpaper of my homily.
To be human is to have expectations – lots of expectations.
To be wise is to be aware of our expectations, to clarify our expectations, to communicate our expectations, to refine or to enhance our expectations.
What are our top three expectations right now? What were our top three expectations when we were 10, 20, 30, 40 or 50?
What were our top three disappointments at 10, 20, 30, 40 or 50?
Am I an optimist or a pessimist – a winner or a whiner – a beginner and a finisher or just a beginner – or someone who says, “What’s the use?” What’s playing on our inner screen - what’s our inner scream –most of the time? What are we talking to ourselves about lately? What are we talking to ourselves about right now?
I guarantee you – if you had one of those rubber stamps – and it had the word “expectations” on it – and you had an ink pad, you could take it – hit it on the ink pad and then stamp it on all your issues – on all our inner conversations and we’d say, “Yeah, you’re right. ‘Expectations.’”
What are your thoughts – what are your expectations for this Advent? What are your expectations for the month of December that starts tomorrow?
ADJECTIVES
Somewhere along the line someone said, “When it comes to expectations, don’t forget to use adjectives.”
“What?” I said to myself. “What are you talking about?”
The person said: “We are filled with expectations for ourselves and our kids – our spouse and our job – traffic and today – as well as tomorrow.”
They continued: “We need to name our expectations and then use an adjective like ‘real” or ‘unreal, ‘doable’ or ‘undoable’, ‘possible’ or ‘impossible’ stamped on each expectation.
For example: it’s unrealistic to think babies or cell phones don’t cry in church, drinking and driving can mix, or I’ll never make a mistake.
For example: it’s impossible for a 300 pounder to run a 3 minute mile.
Referees make mistakes. Spaghetti slips off forks. Sermons flop. People don’t show up. Spouses forget. Grass grows in summer and goes to sleep in winter. Gas prices go up and down. Perfume fades. I expect the Giants to beat the Redskins today. Kickers miss field goals. Babies leak. Parents age. College kids drop out. People lose jobs. Cars crash. Terrorists kill. Sin happens. People cheat. Kids surprise us. The pumpkin pie turns out perfectly. Life goes on.
TODAY’S READINGS
Today’s readings for this First Sunday in Advent triggered this theme of expectations.
What would you expect to hear in a homily on “Expectations.”
Advent – Preparation for Christmas – December – has many themes, one of which is expectations.
Shopping for gifts – wrapping them – wanting to surprise others - candles in windows in the dark – December – hoping to get a parking place at the mall – getting the cookies baked – cards sent – parties going just right. Worries about the economy – people out of work – hoping the new president and administration make great choices – weather watch – kids coming home – or getting plane tickets. Peace on earth – an end to fighting – expectations.
Suggestion: this week, this first week of Advent, reflect upon the theme of expectations in our life. That’s the rub, the sandpaper of my homily.
To be human is to have expectations – lots of expectations.
To be wise is to be aware of our expectations, to clarify our expectations, to communicate our expectations, to refine or to enhance our expectations.
What are our top three expectations right now? What were our top three expectations when we were 10, 20, 30, 40 or 50?
What were our top three disappointments at 10, 20, 30, 40 or 50?
Am I an optimist or a pessimist – a winner or a whiner – a beginner and a finisher or just a beginner – or someone who says, “What’s the use?” What’s playing on our inner screen - what’s our inner scream –most of the time? What are we talking to ourselves about lately? What are we talking to ourselves about right now?
I guarantee you – if you had one of those rubber stamps – and it had the word “expectations” on it – and you had an ink pad, you could take it – hit it on the ink pad and then stamp it on all your issues – on all our inner conversations and we’d say, “Yeah, you’re right. ‘Expectations.’”
What are your thoughts – what are your expectations for this Advent? What are your expectations for the month of December that starts tomorrow?
ADJECTIVES
Somewhere along the line someone said, “When it comes to expectations, don’t forget to use adjectives.”
“What?” I said to myself. “What are you talking about?”
The person said: “We are filled with expectations for ourselves and our kids – our spouse and our job – traffic and today – as well as tomorrow.”
They continued: “We need to name our expectations and then use an adjective like ‘real” or ‘unreal, ‘doable’ or ‘undoable’, ‘possible’ or ‘impossible’ stamped on each expectation.
For example: it’s unrealistic to think babies or cell phones don’t cry in church, drinking and driving can mix, or I’ll never make a mistake.
For example: it’s impossible for a 300 pounder to run a 3 minute mile.
Referees make mistakes. Spaghetti slips off forks. Sermons flop. People don’t show up. Spouses forget. Grass grows in summer and goes to sleep in winter. Gas prices go up and down. Perfume fades. I expect the Giants to beat the Redskins today. Kickers miss field goals. Babies leak. Parents age. College kids drop out. People lose jobs. Cars crash. Terrorists kill. Sin happens. People cheat. Kids surprise us. The pumpkin pie turns out perfectly. Life goes on.
TODAY’S READINGS
Today’s readings for this First Sunday in Advent triggered this theme of expectations.
Isaiah 63, today’s first reading, articulates our expectation for God to come to us.
Isaiah 63 describes God as a father, a redeemer, the potter who made us – and the expectation is that a father or a redeemer is expected to come to help his children or his people when they pray and when they cry – and a potter knows and loves his or her work.
Isaiah 63 says, “Wouldn’t it be nice if God walked in when we were doing good stuff, good deeds?” However, he prays that God will come when we feel like dirty drop cloths or withered leaves.
Is there any expectation more down deep desperate and recurring than the expectation for God to come and redeem us?
Today’s second reading from First Corinthians is very positive – describing how God has already come in the person of Jesus Christ – that Jesus gives us grace and peace – that Jesus enriches us – and the revelation is that Jesus will be there to the end – and the end is endless.
Today’s gospel from Mark is all about expectation. He uses the word, “Watch!”
We never know what’s next – so always be ready. No more sleep walking. Wake up. Watch.
Expectations
GREAT EXPECTATIONS
Life is filled with expectations.
That’s the theme of this homily. That’s my suggestion for this coming week – to see expectations – to stamp the word “expectations” on what we’re thinking about – or worried about – or struggling with – to use adjectives with our expectations – and to bring the coming of Christ into our story – and experience the peace and grace of Jesus.
When the word “expectations” hit me, I began thinking about Charles Dickens from his novel, “Great Expectations.”
But all of Dickens’ novels get us thinking about the issue of expectations in our life. He wrote to figure out his life. We talk to ourselves to figure out our life. Dickens had to deal with his dad going into debtor’s prison – and then his mom and some of the kids as well. Meanwhile he went to work at 12 years old – 10 hours a day – pasting labels on black shoe polish bottles.
He dealt with rejection – envy – revelations – disappointments.
He dealt with surprises – that sometimes people come along and see great stuff – great talents – great gifts in us – that we don’t see in ourselves.
He dealt with others having more money, better jobs, higher positions.
He realized each of us can be generous or greedy, caring or selfish, givers or takers.
He saw the value of comparisons and contrasts.
He wanted to make wise choices.
He once wrote that he wanted to avoid “unconscious repetitions.”
Now that’s an unrealistic expectation – at least for preachers.
CONCLUSION
We are just coming to the end of Thanksgiving Week.
How was your Thanksgiving? Did it meet your expectations?
I spent all week with my brother’s family - his girls and their husbands and families.
Every Thanksgiving for the last dozen or so years they rent a house somewhere – and they come from all over the country to be together.
It had all the things I expected – lots of card games, a great jigsaw puzzle – this one 1500 pieces – a Thanksgiving Mass followed by dinner – lots of talking – walks – this year we were at Rehoboth – last year at Virginia Beach – the year before that at Deep Creek Lake – lots of stories.
Then there was the unexpected.
We didn’t expect the Pyrex dish with the stuffing to split and crack spontaneously when they took it out of the oven - right after Mass – right before Thanksgiving Dinner.
I wasn’t expecting the news when I walked in the door last Sunday afternoon that Sean, one of my grandnephews, got accepted into the Naval Academy and the Air Force Academy – and he’s coming to Annapolis. I was hoping for it – but I wasn’t expecting that to be the first surprise – and this soon.
I wasn’t expecting to have to look at 100 drawings of the same thing by two different grand nieces, Olivia and Aubrey – and they put each drawing on opposite pages so you could see them both at once. I thought, “Someone please save this book of drawings and it will bring tears of joy when they are 55.”
Is that a realistic or unrealistic expectation?
In fact I got mad when someone ripped out a page from their spiral note book – for a piece of paper to keep score for Shanghai Rummy. I was hoping they would fill the book – and it was close when I left on Friday morning. I was hoping all would see this book in the making as sacred.
Expectations. Don’t rip them out. Look at them as a kid’s drawing and see yourself in the mirror – and make your drawings better as the years go on.
