CLING
INTRODUCTION
The title of my homily is, “Cling!” C L I N G “Cling!”
When I read and reflected on today’s three readings, the word “cling” became a “pop up” in my brain and began to cling to my thoughts.
The brain is filled with cling.
Life has lots of cling.
Little children cling to mommy and daddy. Big children cling to each other. Cling brings children into the world. Cling – as in hugs and in holding another’s hand – cling as in praying and holding each other at a funeral when a loved one has died – cling as in doing the chicken dance or alley cat at a wedding celebration – all help.
To be human is to have cling – sometimes static – sometimes ecstatic. We want to cling to life and love and to each other – and sometimes we want to be alone – because we feel too crowded – too busy – too confined.
Vacation: sometimes we need a good vacation or a good weekend to get away from the stresses that are clinging to us.
To be human is to deal with cling.
Little tiny pieces of dried skin – dandruff – slip off our skulls and land silently on our shoulder. Little tiny pieces of thread cling to cloth.
Visitors to Annapolis – if it was a great visit – when leaving want to cling to the great experience and buy t-shirts with the word “Annapolis” or “Naptown” on them. Or they want to take pictures. Pictures are very much about cling. We have to leave, but we want to stay, so we buy something that helps us stay or take a picture or where we stayed or where we were – because we have to leave.
Cling sells.
Memories are all about cling.
Life is very much about cling.
Notice in today’s gospel, Jesus warns us about too much cling – if we want to journey well. Travel light. Notice he’s saying that possessions can possess us and demons can destroy us. Notice he wants us to be peaceful. He says we can have the kingdom of God – now. Thy kingdom come can come and be inside our skull – instead of snakes and scorpions. We want peace within – not hiss and bite.
HOW TO ORGANIZE MY THOUGHTS
So far, so good, if you got that he’s talking about “Cling” in this homily. However, I was trying to figure out how to organize some thoughts about cling – lest nothing cling to you after this homily.
So here are 3 thoughts about cling. If one clings to you, great.
FIRST THOUGHT: WHICH WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE MEMORY OR DEMENTIA?
I’m reading a very interesting book right now entitled, “A General Theory of Love”. It’s by 3 San Francisco psychiatrists – who take a humanistic, sometimes poetic, approach to understanding how we act and interact with each other – how our brains have developed and evolved since creation.
We remember everything. That’s an exaggeration – but the human brain – the memory – is vast – and it’s a great gift – and it’s filming and storing everything – and it’s sculpting us (Cf. p.99)
Doctors Lewis, Amini and Lannon, in their book talk about the amazing brain – holding onto the experiences of a lifetime – starting from the womb. Children in the womb hear the vibrations of their mothers’ voice and singing etc. and are connected to their moms at first much more than their dad’s voice and vibrations. Obvious. (Cf. p. 114)
Talk about a computer having great memory bytes – our brain holds billions and billions and billions of what we have bitten into in life.
One great lesson I kept reflecting on as I’m reading this book is to try to put good stuff into my memory – and avoid junk images and junk thought. Easier said than done.
We all remember the computer message: “Garbage in, garbage out.”
As I read this book by these three San Francisco psychiatrists and as I reflected on memory I could hear: “Garbage in, garbage forever.”
Then I said, “Goodness in – grace in – goodness and grace forever.”
Experiences cling – pictures cling – everything clings to us.
When I said a few moments ago, the word “psychiatrist” – when I said the words “San Francisco” – when I said the word “humanistic” – when I said the word “evolved”, what did those words touch in you? All of us have different cling to those words or other words – based on our life experience.
And life experiences attach themselves to us – to our memory – to our whole body – and effect the way our face shows up – how our tummy feels – how our hands tighten or relax when certain people walk towards us.
Some people are like eating sushi. Some like it; some don’t. Some people bring us smiles; some people bring us cringe – depending on our memories and our stomach and what’s clinging to our eating memories about sushi or our experiences with this person.
Leroy Satchel Paige said, “If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts.”
When feeling crummy or crazy, sit down with better memories – like a trip to Storm Brothers for a double scoop of ice cream in a sugar cone - butter almond and rum raison. I’m a diabetic – but I can still taste ice cream in my memory. Uuum! And now they have sugar free ice cream – but there is nothing like the real thing.
So to be human is to remember – everything. We might not know we are remembering, but we have a billion buttons on our remote – and they are always being pushed.
We walk into a store in the mall and we see someone standing there. We feel an, “Uh oh!” and an, “Oh no!” And we never met this person before – but they trigger reactions because without knowing it, they look like or remind us of a rent-a-car salesperson who yelled at us 30 years ago.
So first thought, which would you rather have: a memory or dementia?
And to have a memory, be very careful what you are pouring into it.
SECOND THOUGHT: FORGIVING AND FORGETTING
As priest I keep on hearing people thinking that they will not feel crummy, angry, antagonistic, once they forgive someone who hurt them.
And I keep on saying, “To forgive is not to forget, that’s dementia; but to forgive, is to forgive.”
Forgiveness is not a feeling. Forgiveness is a choice.
And the same thing applies to forgiving ourselves and accepting forgiveness from God and others. Once more: it doesn’t mean one will forget the dumb things one said or did in their life. We remember.
We memorize our mistakes.
A fling is a fling and it clings.
Mud sticks.
We can’t take back an “ouch”.
But we can say to another, “I’m sorry!”
We can say to another, “What I said to you the other day – must have really hurt you. I’m sorry and I will try not to do that again. What can I do to make it right? Will you please forgive me? What I did is one of my old patterns. I’m trying to be aware of better ways of treating you and others.” (p. 88, 90 TFLOA)
Notice that’s a mouthful. It’s a lot more than just an, “I’m sorry.”
I read that in another book I’m going through. My sister Mary recommended it for sermons. It’s Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas’ book, The Five Languages of Apology. Very interesting. Sometimes “I’m sorry!” isn’t enough.
In today’s second reading Paul says he carries the marks of Jesus on his body. Each of us can say, “I carry the marks of my mistakes on my soul.”
Hopefully, each time we make the sign of the cross, it enters into our memory. Hopefully, we have stood under the cross – that’s why it’s so prominent in our churches – and on top of our churches – to stand under it – to sit under it and hear Jesus say, “Father forgive this person, he or she had no clue that what they did was going to stay with them for a lifetime.”
And then to hear Jesus say to us, “Peace and mercy to you today.”
THIRD POINT: TWO BY TWO
In today’s gospel, Jesus sends his disciples two by two.
Life is easier when done with others. It’s called, “Marriage” or “Family” or “Friendship” of “Discipleship” or “Church” or “Community” or “Group” or “Team”.
As Christians, we believe God is not alone. We believe in one God – yet our God is Three Persons – a Father, a Son, and The Holy Spirit of Love between Them. Three Who are One. One Who is Three. Talk about cling.
So it’s not good to go alone – so if you are alone and feel lonely – cling to your memories – and call up and connect with others.
For 8 ½ years before coming to Annapolis, I was stationed in Lima, Ohio. I worked as a team with a guy named Tom. We preached in all kinds of different churches together, mainly in Ohio - and we found out it’s much better working together.
In today’s gospel Jesus says, “If you go into some town and they don’t want you. Stand in the street and shout: ‘The dust of your town that clings to our feet, even that we shake off against you.’”
There’s that word “cling”. Easier said than done. Don’t we find Ocean City sand in the trunk of our car a year after we’ve been there?
Tom and I never had to shake the dirt of some town off our shoes – and drive off. We had successes and failures, good times and bad, but let me tell you, it was much easier and enjoyable doing it together.
And when I call up Tom or see him from time to time, we talk about some great memories – we share some funny stories – that still cling to us. Amen.
CONCLUSION
I stand here in the pulpit and proclaim the Good News, the Gospel, and preach on the readings knowing that words and images cling.
However, if you were at Storm Brothers or Ocean City during my homily this morning, Norm Constantine, over in our high school told me that I ought to put my homilies and my stuff on a blog. He nagged me enough to set one up for me. So if you want the reference to the two books I mentioned in this homily, you can find them with this sermon on my blog. Blog! What a funny word? At Google just type in my name and type in “Reflections by the Bay.” And he warned me, this stuff goes into deep cyber space memory. Be careful.