POEM: WOODEN TABERNACLE

Most of my life,
except for a few retreats
into the deep forest of God,
I’ve stayed in the city,
remained at the edge of the woods,
writing poems
about the edge of things,
singing sad songs
about my loneliness,
about the color of surfaces,
about these gods of mine,
flowers at the edge of my woods,
at the edge of the tabernacle,
flowers so easy to uproot,
so soon to fade,
so unlike the trees
in the heart of the forest.

© Andrew Costello

POEM: SCHIZOPHRENIA

Two roads diverged
in a yellow wood,
and I,
I took both.

© Andrew Costello 2007

BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this Trinity Sunday - Year C -  is, “But What About Me?”

Today we celebrate the feast of the Holy Trinity. But what to say about the Trinity?

When I hear today’s Psalm 8, I can picture the moon and the stars. I can picture the birds of the air and the fishes of the sea – especially seeing those whales that were trapped in the Sacramento river in California – and the efforts to get them out to the ocean. But when I hear the word, “Trinity” – what do I picture?

Should I go the way of the poet, Scott Cairns, who wrote the following when it comes to the Trinity: “when addressing Second Person Quite / Singular – if Triply so – the less one says the better”?

Yet the less we say about God, the more God screams, “But what about Me?”

RELATIONSHIPS

To get glimpses of God, instead of a triangle or a shamrock, I would say, “Think of the me!” Better: “Think of the we!” Best: “Think of relationships.” I have found reflections on the human need for relationships one of the best ways of getting closer to God. Reflect on one’s relationships – one’s connections – with one another.

When all is going well – when we are connecting well with spouse, parents, kids, family members, friends, co-workers, neighbors, we are feeling good, better, best.

In fact, when our relationships are going well, we often don’t notice them. But when we do, when our relationships are going well, we are experiencing God in a wonderful way. The Kingdom of God is on our face – because it’s in our soul. It shows up in our step and our smile.

The Christian theology about God is that God is relationship. God is a Trinity of Persons. God is 3 persons in one God. Isn’t that interesting? Would anyone have ever come up with that understanding of God – unless Christ revealed it?

Judaism’s great message and teaching is that God is one.

Christianity’s great message is that there are 3 persons in this one God. This is total mystery. God is one, but God is not alone.

The Christian church went through centuries of heresies and struggles, councils and creeds, to formulate as best as they could this mystery. We are only in the 2nd Millennium. We have no idea how long this story will continue, how it will develop, or how many millenniums there are to come.

Based on our history, we can assume there will be great minds to come – men and women who will give us new insights into God. Using scripture and tradition, we simply say, Christian theology states that God created all of this – and in God’s good time, the Word became flesh and lived amongst us.

Somehow, Jesus is both God and human – one person – with two natures.

And those of us who follow Jesus try to relate to him and by relating to him we move further and further into the mystery of God – into a deeper relationship with God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

In Christ, with Christ, through Christ, all this happen.

That’s our belief. It’s deep. It’s heavy. It’s mysterious. It’s something that calls for our faith and acceptance. Doubts and “I don’t get it” are normal aspects of the faith journey.

It also means living by faith. It means many dark nights of the soul – epiphany moments now and then – and the call to more and more trust in the love of a three person God for us.

MADE IN THE IMAGE AND LIKENESS OF GOD

The Book of Genesis says we are made in the image and likeness of God. And the Christian message, the Christian call, is to build relationships: to build community, family, church, to get along with one another, to share daily bread with each other – to be concerned with those who are being neglected or hurt and to bring them into the human network.

The Christian message is to talk with each other, eat with other, enjoy each other, work with each other, pray with each other, play with each other.

Ponder today’s first reading – where the author of one of the sayings in the Book of Proverbs pictures God planning, dreaming, imagining, drawing, creating, playing – building this vast and wonderful universe we experience every day.

Then when we do the same in union with God and in union with each other, we are being one with God and with each other – in relationship.

TWO MOVEMENTS

In relationships we experience many moments and many movements. Here are two:

The first is like this: [Two hands going forward.] It’s like being in a car with someone – driving along seeing and talking about all that is in front of us as seen through the front windshield of a car.

Relationships often work this way. A couple can be married and have this type of relationship for years. [Two hands going forward.] This can happen especially when the focus is: Kids, Kids, Kids.

The second movement is like this: [Two hands face to face.] It’s like turning off the motor and facing each other. Or going into a restaurant and seeing each other face to face – eye ball to eye ball.

We do this second movement, especially when we feel there is a disconnect with another. Often it’s then that we say, “But what about me?” “But what about us?” “But what about God.”

BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?

The title of my homily is, “But What About Me?”

In our ongoing everyday interactions with each other, at work, at meetings, in marriages, in families – haven’t we all had a disconnect – a feeling of not being understood, in a relationship with another?

A disconnect is like a stop sign or a red light. We stop.

Sometimes it’s like a crash. It really stops us.

And we sit there feeling, “Uh!” We say, “Now what?”

We didn’t explain ourselves like we would have liked to have said it.

He doesn’t know what I’m saying.

She doesn’t know what I’m feeling – what I’m going through.

We tried – heavens know we tried – and it feels like hell at times – when others don’t grasp our content – our feelings – our desires – our wants. This can lead to a Black Hole in our soul. This can lead to tears. This can lead to loneliness. This can lead to wanting to hide – to leave – to run – to disappear.

Down deep we’re asking, “But what about me? Does anyone have a clue that I’m here, that I’m hurting, I’m needy, that I want to be heard.”

The “But what about me” question can be found in so many issues: money issues, running the house issues, sexuality issues, raising kids issues, use of time issues, family meals issues, work issues, watching too much television or using the computer issues, alcohol issues, etc. etc. etc. issues.

This is the stuff to talk about in relationships. This is the stuff of intimacy. This is the stuff of thoughts in the prison cell called “loneliness”.

This is the stuff of [Hand gesture: face to face] and the other doesn’t get what we’re trying to say – and afterwards we feel we are the only one in the car, the only one at the table, the only one in the relationship.

We think: Am I the only one that goes through these moments?

We wonder: Am I the only one who has these feelings?

I think these moments can give us a great chance to discover not only ourselves and the other or others we’re not connecting with, but also God.

Is God constantly saying, “But what about me?”

Listening to people as a priest, I often hear people asking that question in so many words. “But what about me?”

PRAYER

Is prayer sitting down with God face to face [Gesture] and saying, “Okay God, what about you? What do you want to say to me today?” And then we listen – not just in the Eucharistic chapel at St. Mary’s – or not just when we are driving along alone in our car – but anywhere and everywhere we pray.

Prayer is listening to God. Coming to church each Sabbath is telling God, I know you’re in my life. I want you in my life. Thank you for being in my life.

Is prayer sitting down with God face to face and saying, “But what about me?” When it seems that nobody really gets what I’m thinking or feeling, say to God in prayer: “Please understand me.”

And then we try to tell God what we’re trying to talk to ourselves about.

Prayer sometimes is the feeling that God knows I exist.

Prayer all the time is the feeling that God exists.

And once we know God is right there in the center of my life – right there in the center of my feelings of being misunderstood by another or others, we get a glimpse of what Christ must have felt big time big.

His disciples had no clue who he was.

He felt at times God his Father had abandoned him. Then the crowd turned on him.

Today people are not crucifying Christ – as much as neglecting him.

Yet Christ keeps asking, “But what about me?”

CONCLUSION

Once we spend more time in this kind of communion with Christ – once we grasp more and more of his pain, his question, “But what about me?” and we find out more about him, we then know more about ourselves – and surprise, we begin to really hear the reality of others – getting glimpses of who they are, their joyful, sorrowful, glorious and light bearing mysteries. Amen.

BEHOLD I MAKE 
ALL THINGS NEW!

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 5th Sunday after Easter, Year C, is, “Behold, I make all things new!”

It’s the last line in today’s second reading. “Behold, I make all things new.”

There is something about a new car, a new house, a new gadget.

There is something about a new neighbor, a new boss, a new co-worker.

There is something about a new baby….

There is something about the new.

Politicians and preachers talk about a new vision, a new deal, a new plan, a new hope, a new day, a new way.

There is something about the new.

SECOND READING

In today’s second reading, John tells us all about the new: a new heavens and a new earth, a new Jerusalem, a new order.

The one who sits on the throne says, “Behold, I make all things new.”

YET! WHAT ABOUT THE OLD?

Yet, even though, there is something within us that calls for the new, we also know that there is something within us, that also appreciates the old.

Life always seems to have these opposites: new-old, hot-cold, night-day, sweet-sour, wide-narrow, female-male, winter-summer, wet-dry, sad-happy, remembered-forgotten, expensive-cheap, etc.

Do you prefer the new to the old or the old to the new?

Annapolis’ commerce and tourism – often seems to stress the old – lots of old red bricks and old houses – and sometimes the new causes traffic jams.

It takes time to know all this.

Jesus talked about the old as well as the new.

So like life, much is an “It all depends.”

A carpenter wants to talk about new chairs and new tables and a new house.

Dealers in old furniture want to talk about antiques.

TODAY’S GOSPEL AND FIRST READING

Jesus talks about both the old and the new. Be aware of new wine. Make sure you don’t put it in old wine skins. Jesus talks about good news. Change! Grow! Discover new life.

In today’s gospel Jesus talks about a new commandment – to love one another as he loved people. He simplifies the 10 commandments down to one commandment: notice, be aware of, love, listen to, treat, respect, be present to the people you meet each day.

Some rejected his new vision; some accepted it. Those who chose to follow Jesus became a gathering of new folks called “Christians.” And people noticed them and said, “See how they love one another.”

We’ve been hearing about this new group of people called “Christians” in these readings from the Acts of the Apostles that we hear after Easter especially.

Today we hear about Paul – who when he was Saul – went about trying to kill those who were following the New Way. He wanted things as they were. He didn’t like change. Then he was knocked to the ground – knocked to his senses – hit bottom – and rose a changed person – with a new name, Paul. Then he went about preaching Jesus New Way of living life – to the full.

OUR CHURCH

Our church has always been struggling with the new-old challenge.

All religions – all living religions – struggle with the new-old challenge. We see it going on in Islam right now.

All people – who are living – struggle with the new-old challenge.

We never know what’s going to happen today – what new experiences are going to hit us or happen to us.

THIS COUNTRY

This country was called, “The new world.” It still is for many. Way, way back, people migrated here – anthropologists say from Asia – crossing over the 58 mile Bering Strait to Alaska. They became the first natives of this world – North and South America. But it would be a long time later – thousands and thousands of years later, when Leaf Erickson and others and then Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue – and discovered something new – this world – Columbus thinking it was something old.

And people have been coming here ever since hoping for a change, hoping for a new life – a fresh start – in a new place.

When I see Western movies I think about those who lived in the East and went West for something new. Where do those in California, Hawaii and Alaska go when they want to go to the new?

There is something within us that wants the new. There is something in us that has a nostalgia for the old.

CONCLUSION: THREE BRIEF THOUGHTS

I’m not sure just how to end this – so let me go this way. Here are three brief thoughts for a conclusion. I hope they are brief.

1) Think:

We can get stuck in always wanting new or always wanting old. So we have to have an ongoing inner conversation about all this – to do good thinking about where we are in all this.

Some folks only like new; some folks only like old.

So life is an, “All depends.”

So life is sorting and discerning, weighing and figuring.

Sometimes you can teach an old dog new tricks and sometimes a new dog learns from an old dog. Maybe a dog who only goes, “Grrr, Grrr!” can learn a cute “Woof! Woof” I’m glad you’re home.”

Sometimes someone who only wants new, new, new, can discover the surprise of “The Antique Road Show” – and maybe also discover his or her mom and dad and grandparents had something of value to pass down.

When I was growing up, I never liked those water logged soggy green vegetables called string beans or asparagus. But they were the passport to dessert. Now, I always take string beans or asparagus that are still bright green – if it is cooked lightly, but especially if it’s baked – like on a grill. Umm good!

2) Every day is a new day.

Even though the world is 4 to 15 billion years old, each day is a new day. Each flower is a new flower – never to have grown before. I know I don’t take the time to stop to smell the flowers. I know I don’t take the time to stop to spot the flowers. Each day I meet people whom I don’t stop to be in there presence. I forget to slowly say to myself: this person is one of the 6 billion plus people on the planet. I won’t meet them all, but here is one. Listen to them. Be with them. Each new baby is a never before experience. Each person whether they are 9 or 90 is worth listening to – worth experiencing.

Don’t close down. Keep your eyes open for opportunities. Surprises are rising all the time – for those who watch for eye openers. I was at my sister, Mary, and her husband, Jerry’s, 50th Wedding Anniversary yesterday – up in New Jersey. Surprise, I notice my two grand nephews were having a great time taking pictures – but they only had one camera, so I gave them my digital camera – and it was great watching them going around the room as midget paparazzi – I’m dying to download the pictures to see what kids saw and what kids pictured at a 50th Wedding Anniversary.

3) Death is the necessary step before resurrection.

Even though we wrinkle and leak, even though we crumble and crack, even though we die and become dust, we Christians believe, there is New Life after this life. We believe – we profess it with our minds and our Creed, that because Christ rose from the dead, we too will be raised up from the dust. We believe that when we enter eternity, we’ll hear the message of today’s second reading: God will wipe every tear from our eyes. There will be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain. The old order has passed away. Then we’ hear the one on the throne say, “Behold, I make all things new!”

NAME: ________
FILL IN THE BLANK

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Name: ________ Fill in the Blank.”

How many times in a lifetime do we have to fill in a blank with our name?

How many times in a lifetime do people ask us for our name or how many situations are we in when we give our name?

How many times in a lifetime do we sign a check or an application form or what have you form with our name?

What is your name?

Do you like your name?

PURPOSE OF THIS TALK

In this talk I’d like to dabble in and babble about the sacredness of people’s name.

As a result of this talk, if you respect other’s names a bit more, if you learn one more person’s name – a person you see every day – then to me, this will be a successful talk, homily, sermon, whatever.

I still remember a moment two weeks after my ordination. It was in July of 1965. I was visiting a nursing home in Monticello, NY. In the room with a Catholic woman, was a Jewish woman. She showed me faded numbers on her arm. She was a survivor of a Nazi concentration camp.

Give people numbers – and it’s easier to depersonalize them.

Connect with people by name, and it’s more difficult to make them disappear.

I would assume and hope that Judaism, Christianity, all religions, teach strongly the sacredness, the importance, the power of one’s name.

Notice in Genesis – Adam is given power to name all the animals. Notice in Genesis and the rest of the books in our scriptures, the sacredness of names. “Hail Mary full of grace!”

TODAY’S READINGS

Today’s readings for the feast of the Birth of John the Baptist are rich in thought and reflection.

The Gospel from Luke presents the wonderful scene when Elizabeth is asked if her son is to be called, “Zechariah after his father?” and Elizabeth says, “No. He will be called John.”

The questioners react, “But no one among you is called John.”

They ask the father, who is speechless – a gospel way of making this an extraordinary moment.

Zechariah asks for a writing tablet and writes, “John, is his name!”

If your parents are alive, and you don’t know the answer, ask them, “Why did you give me the name you gave me?”

Do you like your name? Do you like your name?

Today’s first reading and Psalm – Psalm 139 – have some wonderful human reflections on our life before we are born – life in our mother’s womb.

When did our name start to appear to our parents?

Did they come up with a name and then when they saw us, they said, “No. It doesn’t fit.”

What did our mom and dad – especially our mom – reflect upon all those months and moments before we were born? What did she think when we kicked her in the stomach? What were her prayers?

If she is alive, talk to her about those moments. What are our thoughts about our destiny and our dreams? Are we close? Are we close to matching our realities to the dreams we have had for our life?

NAMING A CHILD

Birth is an awesome moment!

Naming a child is an awesome moment.

Nowadays, couples, who are pregnant, can find out if this child is a boy or a girl?

Some want to be surprised?

What was the process of our being named?

It’s a wonderful game – the naming of a child. The suggestions from friends and family are part of family life ritual. The ultimate choice is with the parents.

I was born on the feast of St. Andrew Avellino – and even though my parents were both Irish, I was named “Andrew!” after an Italian Saint – who was removed from the church calendar after Vatican II. A St. Leo the Great took his place. I still prefer “Andrew”. Apologies to any Leo’s here. Then my dad added, “His middle name will be Jackson!” And I was named, “Andrew Jackson!” Nice! It’s unique. My name is on the 20 dollar bill – and I’ve always known who the 7th president of the United States was.

And the reason for the Jackson is quite unique. When my dad was growing up in Ireland he heard priests say at times, “Our people in the United States need priests. Anyone interested? One of the presidents of the United States had some Catholic Roots, but since there was a shortage of priests in the United States, his Catholic roots were lost.”

A few years after my father died, my Aunt Nora sent me a short article ripped out of an Irish magazine that said all this on paper.

Surprise. What is your name? Why did they give you that name? What is your history?

Do you like your name? Do you like your name?

I’ve been to enough weddings, coffee breaks, when someone tells me a story about some priest who refused to name the child at baptism – the name that the parents wanted. “It has to be a saints name” – demanded the priest.”

I am glad that has changed. Yet I still hear that complaint from time to time. It’s up to the parents. I respect and honor and rejoice in their reasoning. The value the priest in the past who pushed for the saint’s name – was that it would hopefully help a person growing up to have a saint as a model.

But what about the modeling, the value of a parent’s or grandparent’s name or a family name – that this couple want to preserve and gift their child with?

SECRET HOPES

When I hear – about to be parents – discussing possible names for a child, I secretly hope for a few things – but I don’t say them out loud. I say to myself: ·

“Give your child a name that they won’t have to hear, ‘Could you spell that for me?’ for the rest of his or her life.”

“If he’s a boy, don’t give your boy a name other boys will make fun of. Think of what rhymes with names.”

“Give your boys a strong name. Give your girls a beautiful name – a name that tastes delicious. Remember M and L are the two most delicious letters in the English language.” I know this could be considered sexist, boys are to be strong and girls are to be beautiful, but notice I don’t say this out loud – only to myself. Okay, oops!, I just said it here and put my foot in my mouth.

Sometimes I do say the following, but way before parents name their child, because I don’t want to interfere. I mention to them, “Someone once said: ‘Go out on the back porch before your child is born and scream out the name you picked, ‘Jack get in here!’ ‘Mortimer get in here immediately.’

Then pick the name that sounds right in a scream.” If there are any Mortimer’s here, once more I apologize.

BAPTISM

A few comments about baptism before my conclusion.

Baptisms used to be days after a child was born – so perhaps the naming of the child in baptism – came on much quicker back then.

Now, it seems baptisms take place a few months after a birth – when mom has recovered – when family and friends can come from all over the country. Infant mortality has lessened tremendously.

At the beginning of the baptismal ceremony, the parents are still asked, “What name do you give your child?”

That moment can have lots of energy – but I would think not as much in the past -  because the kid has been around for quite a while.

The stress in Baptirms that I would push for is thanksgiving.

I love the moment in the TV mini series, “Roots” when Omoro, the father of Kunta – takes his new born son and stands there facing the skies and holds him up and says, “Behold the only thing greater than yourself!”

To me it was like the moment at Mass when the priest says, “This is my body. This is my blood.”

I would love it if parents were asked as they stand here in the sanctuary at St. Mary’s where baptisms take place to hold their baby and say together, “This is my body. This is my blood. We are giving our life for you.” I say this out loud at times myself – and a few times at St. Mary’s I ask the parents to place the baby on the altar and say after me, "This is my body.... This is my blood.... We're giving our life for you. I also hope that  the baby doesn’t leak. My thoughts on all  this are evolving.

ONE CONCLUSION

One practical conclusion would be the following. Let’s all work on respecting each other’s name. Let’s find out how another wants to be called – and how to pronounce their name. In a parish this big – name tags might help – but that pushes buttons at times. I think it would be more realistic to work on learning a new name each week if that is possible – or to learn our neighbor's name – or to really hear the waiter or waitress’ name and to use it when they bring more water or the check. “Thank you Jason.” “Thank you Jennifer.” And then give them a good tip.

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Photos on top: Wooden plaques inside a London church - that I noticed in 2009 - probably St. Paul's Actor's Church, London, England in Covent Garden Section of the city.