Saturday, September 26, 2020

 



MAKING PEACE

WITH  LIFE AND DEATH

 

INTRODUCTION

 

Good Morning

 

The title of my homily for this 25th Friday in Ordinary Time is, “Making Peace With Life and Death.”

 

Our theme this weekend is Choosing Peace.

 

To retreat, to escape to the sea, to the ocean,  to think and pray about serious stuff and then to go home a better person on Sunday than when we arrived here on Friday evening – that’s a good plan – a good goal - that's the hope for those who come here to San Alfonso Retreat House.

 

This year to go home more peaceful and to become better  peace makers - is the more specific plan.

 

KOHELETH

 

 I got this theme and thought from today’s first reading [Ecclesiastes  11: 9 tp 12:8].  It’s from a little used book in the Old Testament or Jewish Scriptures called Koheleth or Ecclesiastes.

 

It’s best known because that’s where the text, “There is a time for this and a time for that” comes from. The Byrds made it into a song – and we’ve all heard it read at many weddings and funerals.

 


It begins, “A season is set for everything, a time for every experience under heaven. A time for being born and a time for dying. A time for planting and a time for uprooting the planted….”  Check our chapter 3 of Koheleth.

 

It’s considered by most as a part of the wisdom literature in the Old Testament. Because the writer – Koheleth – can be pretty pessimistic – some Jewish rabbis have wanted to drop the whole book  out of their Bible.

 

But it has survived – I think because – life has some tough stuff to think about.

 

Today’s first reading begins by telling folks to enjoy their  youth.

 

Especially because it’s going to fade.

 

One translation of today’s opening words goes this way, “For youth and black hair are fleeting.”

 

Koheleth goes on to say, things can get shaky. Those around you – for example women – get older.  The song is going to end – even from the birds. Almond trees and grasshoppers are going to lose their amazement. The silver cord is going to snap and golden bowls and pottery and jugs are going to drop and crash – and everything turns to dust eventually.

 

One commentator on Koheleth says that he says the one thing  we can be sure about – when it comes to life – is death.

 

We can be  much more sure of that – than if there is life after death.

 

San Alfonso – St. Alphonsus – wrote a whole book on this called Preparation for Death.

 

Kierkegaard – the famous Existential writer and theologian is said to have kept a copy of that book by St. Alphonsus on an end table next to his bed.

 

As we go through life  - we have to stop – and deal and think about death from time to time – especially when we lose family members and loved ones.

 

We know we have to make peace with the reality of death – especially our own.

 

We had Father Bill Gaffney’s funeral here yesterday. During it, I was thinking what will my funeral be like? Does everyone do that at funerals – or do you have to reach a certain age for that to happen,   Father John Collins invited up to this podium a niece named Patty. I figure my niece and god-child Patty will be invited up to the podium for my funeral. Last year she was the one who showed up at 4:45 AM to take me to the Washington Hospital center  for a triple by-pass.  She was there all day – especially when I came back to consciousness at 9:30 PM.

 

Life has many realities to ponder: Cancer. Aging, Heart. Arthritis. Dementia.  Self and others.  We have to make peace with those realities and more.  

 

Acceptance is the key.

 

Prayer is key.

 

God is with us is key.

 

Faith in an afterlife is key.

 

Talking to each other is key.

 

Denying aging and time limits – is not the way to go.

 

Denial of these realities can cause angst and agita – grumpiness and grouchiness.

 

ELEVATOR TALK

 

The title of my homily is: Making Peace with Life and Death.

 

The other day I heard someone refer to the Elevator Talk.

 

I had forgotten that saying.

 

It means -  can you say what want to  say – if you had to say it – on an elevator ride – say to the 3rd floor.

 

In other words: spit it out. Make it clear. Put it in a quick title.

 

So is the secret of peace – is the secret of life -  making peace with death.

 

I could say that on an elevator ride.

 

I would rather talk about life and come up with the secret of life is a quick bullet point.

 

I would say it’s giving not taking.

 

I learned this in a diner – way back.

 

We were sitting there - 3 or 4 of us  - and some guy three booths back started screaming at someone.  It was a woman. It was either his wife or girlfriend. He stared yelling: “All you do is take, take, take. Well I’m sick and tired of you and I’m out of here.”

 

And he walked out – right by us – and I didn’t see him paying.

 

I never forgot that moment.

 

If I had to give an elevator talk on the secret of life it’s that memory: Am I a give or a taker.  

 

Be a giver.

 

CONCLUSION

 

Today we Redemptorists celebrate the life of a Bavarian German Redemptorist priest – Blessed Kaspar Stangassinger -  who wanted to be a missionary – but only worked in a seminary – and died at 28.

 


He was one of 16 kids  – in quite a big family.  His family and his Redemptorist brothers had to deal with a tough death like that.

 

How was his life summed up – enough to make him a saint.

 

It’s this: He was a giver.

 

Today the church also celebrates the life of Cosmas and Damian  - perhaps  twin brothers – as the legend goes – from around 287.

 


They became doctors – and got the nickname – “the silverless ones” – or  “the unmoneyed ones” – because they didn’t charge.

 

They gave. They didn’t take.

 

They were martyrs – during the Diocletian persecutions – perhaps because a non-Christian doctor was jealous of their reputation as givers.

 

Like Jesus in todays gospel they were given over to death – because of the way they did life. [Cf. Luke 9: 43b-45.]

 

Tough stuff:  but what a way to go.

September   26,  2020


 JUST   WAX

 

“It’s just wax!”
 
It was good to hear
that message
from the audiologist.
 
For weeks now
everyone has been saying,
“Get a hearing aid.”
 
“It’s just wax!”
 
Those 3 words 
just saved 
$3000.00.”
 
Ear wax can be ugly brown –
but when translated to cost,
it can be basic green cash.
 
 

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2020



 September   26,   2020



Thought for Today


"The brook would lose its song if you  took away the rocks."


Someone

Friday, September 25, 2020

September  25,  2020



SILENCE

 
Sometimes silence is
passive aggression.
Sometimes silence is
the best response.
Sometimes silence is
smart. Sometimes stupid.
Sometimes silence is
God. Sometimes silence
is admitting I’m all alone.
Sometimes, but only
sometimes… sometimes.

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2020


September 25, 2020

 


Thought for Today

 

“The most dangerous day in anyone’s life is the day they  decide they know enough.”

 


Someone

Thursday, September 24, 2020

September 24, 2020


SHUT  UP!

 

Just two words.
Just 5 letters.
They work.
Sometimes it causes
the other to shut down –
sometimes for a long time.
 
“Shut up!”
 
They are much stronger
than a yawn or a looking
at one’s watch or simply
saying, “I gotta run!”
 
“Shut up!”
 
And sometimes they
get us to open up and
tell each other what’s
shut up – down deep –
in our feelings.

 © Andy Costello, Reflections 2020

 


September 24, 2020

 


Thought for Today

 

“Do your best.  The backyard would be very quiet if no birds sang except the best singers.”

 

Someone

 

 September  23.  2020


TORN DOWN HOUSE


Mangled stucco and concrete –
rubble – the remains of the
house that was taken down –
the house where we used to live:
326 – 62nd Street, Brooklyn, NY.
 
Bulldozed – crumbled  – crushed –
till it finally gave in - and caved in -
making room for the Gowanus
Parkway above – now with
thousands and thousands of
cars and trucks and buses -
going though and over where
my brother and I played with
our cars and lead soldiers.
 
Now our house exists only in
the black and white photographs  -
that slip out  of the old albums –
when I page through them –
falling out because the scotch tape
has lost its stickiness.  Ugh .... Age….
 
But wait -  now - in 2020 – in this
lost year of the pandemic – I’m
grateful that I have time to look at –
so many pictures and scenes that
I’m realizing are still  sticky, sticky, 
stuck, stuck - in my  memory - when I go 
back there to the 1940’s and early 50’s.

 

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2020



Wednesday, September 23, 2020

September  23, 2020

 


Thought for Today

 “If you could turn back the clock,  where would you stop?”

 Someone

Tuesday, September 22, 2020

September  22,  2020



 SOUNDS  IN  A  FULL  CHURCH

 

Benches going up and going down -
squeaking up and banging down.
People greeting one another ….
Others going, “Shush! Shush!”
 
Down deep in the soul roam
lots of  deeper sounds:
“Help!” – “Thanks!” – “Why?” -
“God! God! Where are You?”
 
God the Father just hugs and holds on.
God the Son says, “I am with you!”
God the Holy Spirit groans sounds that
keep sounding around the halls in our heart

 

 © Andy Costello, Reflections 2020


 September 22, 2020

 


Thought for Today

 

“Two pessimists met at a party. Instead of shaking hands, they shook heads.”

 

Someone

Monday, September 21, 2020

September 21,  2020


SOUNDS  IN   A  SILENT  CHURCH

 

Wooden benches adjusting
after a customer left 5 minutes ago
and went back into the street.
 
A candle in a red glass holder
going out after 13 hours of
praying for a worrying mother.
 
An ambulance rushing down
the street  - taking a dying
person to the nearest hospital.
 
The wind trying to get inside
the church through a crack in
a stain glass window.
 
The opening of a side door
for an old man who drops into
this silent church every afternoon at 3.

 

                                                                                       © Andy Costello, Reflections 2020


September  21,  2020





Thought for Today

“For those who could use a bit of praise – give it to them. People can’t read their tombstone.”

 Someone



               GOD,  IT’S  NOT  FAIR

 

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “God, It’s Not Fair.”

 How many times does God hear those 4 words every day?

 “God, it’s not fair.”

 VARIATIONS GO LIKE THIS

“God, if you think this is funny, it isn’t.”

“Enough’s, enough, O God.”

Or the two word question God and parents always hear: “How come?”

TODAY’S READINGS

The title of my homily is, “God, It’s Not Fair.”

I think today’s readings can be summed up in those 4 words: “God, it’s not fair.”

We heard in today’s first reading from Isaiah 55:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
nor are your ways my ways, says the LORD.
As high as the heavens are above the earth,
so high are my ways above your ways
and my thoughts above your thoughts.”

How old do we have to be – to learn that we think differently from God and God thinks differently than the way we think?

We heard in today’s second reading from Philippians:

I long to depart this life and be with Christ,
for that is far better.
 
Yet that I remain in the flesh
is more necessary for your benefit.

We heard in today’s gospel,

    “These last ones worked only one hour,  

    and you have made them equal to us, 

    who bore the day’s burden and the heat.’

    He said to one of them in reply,

‘My friend, I am not cheating you. 
Did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage? 
Take what is yours and go. 
What if I wish to give this last one the same as you? 
Or am I not free to do as I wish with my own money? 
Are you envious because I am generous?’
Thus, the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

Sometimes things are not fair.

Sometimes you have to laugh.

Sometimes you have to look out prison bars and see stars – while the person in same cell with you – only sees mud.

A BUNCH OF EXAMPLES

One evening, four of us  went to hear Gary Snyder, the poet, speak at Bard College in upstate New York.

We got there early and got front row seats. Neat.

It was a rather small room and by the time 7:30 arrived the room was packed with people – many of them standing. Someone came in and walked to the front – went to the microphone and  said, “We’re filled. There are not enough seats, so could you all go out the door in the back and cross the corridor into the much bigger room we have there.

The four of us ended up in the back of this second room – in the corner.

I immediately thought of Jesus words, “The last will be first, and the first will be last.”

Not fair.

Recently I went to the New Jersey Motor Vehicle Bureau to switch my driver’s license from Maryland to New Jersey.

The line was around the building and then back into entrance ramp. I asked someone what time to come in the morning. I went the next morning at 6:45 and the line was even longer.  I asked a guy with a clipboard and a plastic name tag, “Is everyone of these people here just for their driver’s licenses? He said, “Yes!”  Then he said, “Wait a minute. How old are  you?” 

I said, “80.”

He said, “Go to the front of the line.” And he walked me there. And I wasn’t wearing a priest collar.

If someone  did that on  a restaurant line or a Supermarket check out line in this Coronana 19 era – there would be a lot of screaming.

Who said, “Life is fair.”

When my brother died of melanoma – skin cancer – which he got at 49 and died at 51, his buddy Marty Goldberger did one of the eulogies.  Marty said he got a letter from his son David who was in Israel for a year.  David felt bad he was missing the funeral.  He wrote that when he was a little kid he was once playing ping pong in their house with his dad.  My brother shows up and says to David. “That’s an interesting ping pong paddle you have. Can I see it.” He hands it to my brother who then says to Marty, “Okay three over for serve.”

David immediately said, “Hey Mr. Costello. That’s not fair.”

My brother standing there ready to play Marty says, “Kid let me give you your first lesson in life? Who said, ‘Life is fair.”

I think that’s one of the first things in life that kids say, “It’s not fair.”

It’s one of the first things in life that kids learn. Life is not fair.

Do mothers instinctively know, “Never buy a square or rectangular cake with icing?  They only have 4 corner pieces – pieces with double icing. When it come to kids – and also some adults:  Always buy round cakes if they have icing.

LIFE  101

If nobody died, this earth would be very crowded.

If nobody died, stock in nursing home chains would be a good stock.

Life would be boring if everybody saw the same way.

Baseball stadiums would  need cardboard cut outs all the time – if everyone hit a homerun every time – while at the same time every pitcher pitched a no hitter – every time.

Unless you’re an only child, family dynamics wouldn’t work – because someone has to be the oldest and someone has to be the youngest – and someone has to go to bed earlier than the oldest kid.

Salaries differ and sometimes the person who is a lazy loaf  gets a lot more money than the workaholic.

There would be no talk shows or Saturday Night Life or Shakespeare or Parables by Jesus – if every day – everything was the same.

CONCLUSION - SOLUTIONS

If you want to be a person of peace, you have to laugh – lots of laughter.

If you want to be a person of peace, you have to learn patience and acceptance.

If you want to be a person of peace, you have to become a philosopher.

 If you want to be a person of peace, you have to listen to the fortune cookie wisdom of Jesus: turn the other cheek, go the extra mile, know that it’s where you live, you get the weather you get, and some people are better at Algebra and some people play ping pong better than others, and PS - save some of your questions for the next life.


September  20th 2020

 

WHEN  WE  DIE

 

When we die, I'm assuming there's
more to come.  How about your thoughts?
What's your forever?  Is it nothing
or do you see a forever more something?

If it’s a something: what’s your
assumption?  Is it an infinity –
a divinity – or the Trinity – an
eternity  based  on your hopes?

 
I’m dying with Jesus’ images about
the Eternal Welcome in Luke  15. I’m
assuming there will be a continuing
personal relationship with God.
 
I’m  assuming we  finally arrive
after a long walk on the shoulders
of the Laughing Shepherd  into the
big open pen called Heaven.
 
I’m assuming I’ll be like a lost coin
found in dark corner – under a bed
or a bureau that God the Woman will
shine me up and show me off to everyone.
 
I’m assuming I be like the lost son
welcomed home by God the Running
to Greet me Father who will welcome me 
and hug me and banquet me forever.

 

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2020



Sunday, September 20, 2020

September 20, 2020




Thought for Today

“Friends are made by many acts – and lost by only one.”

 Someone