"I would like to have engraved inside every wedding band 'Be kind to one
another.' This is the Golden Rule of Marriage and the secret of making
love last through the years." Randolph Ray,
My Little Church Around the Corner, Simon and Schuster, 1957
P.S. If you were asked the secret, what you you have engraved inside your
Quote for Today - January 24, 2013 "A man falls in love through his eyes, a
woman through her ears."
Woodrow Wyatt, "To the Point," London
Sunday Times, Mary 22, 1981
P.S. Agree or disagree - talk to each other. Ooops. Look each other in
Quote for Today - January 22, 2013 "When two people love each other, they don't look at each other, they look in the same direction." Ginger Rogers, quoted by Dotson Rader, "I Don't Want to Live Without Love, in Parade, March 8, 1987 P.S. Agree or disagree? If agree, when does this happen in your marriage or love, and was there a specific thing that happened to trigger this?
The title of my homily for this 2nd Sunday in
Ordinary Time C is, “A 5 Minute Homily on Marriage.”
I’d like to make a few reflections on Marriage because
today’s gospel - the miracle at the
Wedding Feast of Cana is on marriage. Today, we’re also we’re into the
week on Church Unity and the basic unit of Church and World is marriage and the
I’m making it 5 minutes because I just read the Archdiocesan
Today’s second reading talks about the Christian community
having people with different gifts - with different forms of service. Paul
talks about that reality in a few places in his letters.
Here is some homework for today or this week. If you are
married write down 5 gifts you see your spouse has. Then swap lists with each
other. Surprise …. If he or she is gone, still do it - and thank God for the
gifts you experienced. If you’re not married, you got extra work, write down 5
gifts you saw in your mom and 5 gifts in your dad - and thank God for them -
and if they are alive thank them.
Next write down 5 gifts you see that you have. Then do an
examination of conscience how well you’re using your gifts.
More homework ….
Next write down 5 realities of marriage. The first reading
begins with the words, “For Zion’s sake I will not be silent, for Jerusalem’s sake, I will
not be quiet.”
For marriage’s sake put a voice and some words to 5 realities of marriage.
Here would be my quick 5:
1) It’s work - good marriages don’t just happen. People have
to work to make them happen.
2) It’s sacrifice - be aware of sins of omission.
3) People change - expect it.
4) Listen to what is being said and not said.
5) Make a cheat sheet - and keep it handy - like in your
wallet. It should have your list of key 3 word sentences that are regularly
needed to make a marriage work. For example here is a short list: I forgive you. I am sorry. I blew it. I hurt
you. I love you. I need you. I trust you. Please forgive me. Thank you hon. [If
you’re from Baltimore.]
5 MOMENTS OF
Today’s gospel story of the Wedding Feast of Cana tell us
the story about the couple who run out of wine at their wedding and Mary saves
the day by calling on Jesus.
Jot down 5 times in your marriage when you felt the wine ran
out in your marriage. Bring your marriage to the Mother of Jesus and Jesus in
prayer and ask for a refill. Tell each other the stories - unless a specific story
would destroy the other.
It could be a family fight and your spouse didn’t back you.
It could be alcoholism itself. It could
be a mistake. It could be a broken secret. It could be comments about weight.
It could be about how one is treating or not treating the kids. Check it out.
It’s your marriage.
Name it. Shame it. Pray about it. Bring it to Mary’s altar, the holy family
altar, and to Jesus.
5 QUOTES ABOUT MARRIAGE.
I have a dozen quote books and when I looked up marriage,
many of the quotes were digs and put downs about marriage. I looked for positive
up lifting quotes - so here are 5 in my 5 minute homily.
1) “Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every
day.” Barbara De Angelis
2) “The value of marriage is not that adults produce
children, but that children produce adults.” Peter De Vries
3) “Don’t discuss important matters with the television on.”
Or as Ann Landers put it: “Television has proved that people will look at
anything but each other.”
4) “One’s family is the most important thing in life. I look at it this way: One of these days I’ll
be over in a hospital somewhere with four walls around me. And the only people
who’ll be with me will be my family.” Robert C. Byrd, U.S. Senator, New York Times, March 27, 1977
5) “The most ancient and universal symbol of the marriage
union was holding hands. In many cultures a couple could not hold hands until
they were officially wed. Even if a
wedding contained no verbal vows, the simple act of holding hands was often
enough to make the marriage valid. And since antiquity, holding hands, if only
to exchange rings, has been part of almost every marriage service on earth.
Today we have rings, legal certificates, and vows to show the world a couple is
married, but the natural, affectionate hand holding by a couple in love still
says much more.” Howard Kirschenbaum and Rockwell Stensrud
BRIEF 5 PRAYER
1) Lord, thank you for our parents who brought us into this
2) Lord, bless those here who are married. May this moment today
be one more blessed wake up call - that they experience miracles - water
becoming an overflow of wine - the ordinary becoming extraordinary and then
3) Lord, be with those who have lost a spouse through death.
Give them sweet memories and deep gratitude.
4) Lord, help those whose marriages have fallen apart. Mess is also part of
life. Sometimes things don’t just work out. Mistakes happen. Sin happens. Love
disappears. Miracles of recovery are needed.
5) Lord, bless the children and the generations to come that
they will see in us - living images of Christ - gifts to our world.
Painting on top: By Carol Ann Waldron, Irish Painter
Quote for Today - January 20, 2013 "One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with him, or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you maybe fall in again." Judith Viorst, in "What Is This Thing Called Love?" Redbook, February 1975 P.S. Avoid that "maybe".