they were buried or put in small vaults in cemeteries or kept at home on bureaus or mantelpieces.
Remains – the English word – goes back to
the 14th or 15th century –
according to that same Webster’s Ninth New
Collegiate Dictionary. After someone’s death I prefer remains over cremains: a jacket, a hat, a watch, a letter from the person – who has gone before me. I prefer stories, sayings, moments and memories of a loved one who has died. And come to think about it I prefer a cemetery – as well
as a drink in hand to toast a loved one – more than looking at an urn of their ashes on a mantelpiece.
The title of my homily for today, January 2nd,
is, “Who Are You?”
That’s a question that shows up in the Bible at various
times.
It shows up in today’s gospel – and that’s where I got
the thought for this homily.
It’s a question that shows up in life at various times.
Who are you?
START WITH SELF:
JOT IT DOWN IN A NOTE BOOK
We ask this in our brain about others lots and lots of
times – but as I’ve thought about this question – I realized that the first
place is to start is with oneself. Who am I?
It’s a brand new year, what would it be like to make that
a 2015 question?
Suggestion. Buy at
any supermarket store – or The Dollar Store or Office Depot – one of these
spiral note books – 9 ½ by 6 inches. I
have about 50 of these in my room – and when I die – I’m sure they will be
tossed. [SHOW ORANGE PAD]
No problem – but while I live – they are very important to
me. I have tons of interesting notes and
this and that’s in these 50 or more note books.
I have about 75 of these bigger spiral note books. They have their use. [SHOW GREEN SPIRAL NOTE BOOK.]
I also have about 50 or more of these little memo pads – 5 by 3 inches. [SHOW LITTLE RED PAD.]
I don’t like to sit on the pot without something to read
– and so I often grab one of my note or memo pads.
So you know what these look like. Suggestion: buy a bunch
of these spiral pads this size. This is the size I prefer. [SHOW THE ORANGE ONE].
In one of these 9 ½ by 6 inch jobs – jot down on page 1 –
on the top of the page – in title size: “Who Am I?”
Then this year, 2015, write down in the mid-sized baby –
answers to that question: Who Am I?
Even if you use a computer, I’m suggesting writing –
writing – writing. “Write it down!”
WHAT I LEARNED
FROM A LISTENING EXERCISE
I once had a job of trying to get people – namely
Redemptorist priests and brothers – to talk to each other – to listen to each
other – to get to know each other better. Sorry to say it really didn't work - but like being a teacher, the presenter or teacher learns the most. Looking back I think that was the best job I ever had –
because I learned a lot about others – but mainly myself.
One learning happened as follows. It was called, "The Listening Exercise." We would ask a group of 20 or so to break up
into smaller groups of about 5 in a group. The person with the earliest birthday in
the year – or last – it didn’t matter really - went first.
Once more the leader of the whole group ofr 20 or so would say to the whole group, “This is a listening
exercise. "The person who starts says to the person to their right one answer to
the following question: ‘I think people have difficulty in listening because….’ "Then the person to the right listens to what the first speaker says. "Then they say what their heard the first person say to them. "The first person who spoke then says to the person on their right. 'Good. Thank you. You got what I said.' Or they say, "No, that's not what I said." Then they try it again. I remember once it took a lady about 10 times to get it right. After she finally got it right, she gave an afterthought. "I guess my husband is right. He says, 'I never listen.'" Then that person gives to the person on their right, one reason why they think people don't listen...."
It was a wonderful exercise. I learned that one big problem was this: the speaker who gave their comments why they thought people didn't listen well - was because the speaker wasn't too clear in the first place. I saw that when they had to repeat what they said at first. It would change. It would get clearer. It would get more complicated. I also learned to say to people
ever since, “What do you think I was asking you in the first place?”
If they didn’t get it, in my opinion, then I would repeat
what I said in the first place.
Sometimes the listener would say: “That’s not what you
said in the first place.”
Sometimes I humbled myself and said, “Oh, sorry, you’re right.”
My biggest learning from that exercise was this: “Often
the problem is not with the listener, but with the speaker.”
So I learned that some speakers are very clear; some
are very unclear, convoluted. They really don’t know how to communicate what
they are trying to communicate.
I also learned that the first question should be to self
– rather than to others. “What is it that I want to say?” I before you....
So based on that – I’m stressing in this reflection –
talk – sermon – whatever this is – the first question before, “Who Are You?”
should be, “Who Am I?”
Based on that I realized that's why I love the shortest poem
ever written. It’s an existentialist poem. I mention this all the time. It goes like this and you can
memorize it and it rhymes.
I
Why?
And why I wrote the second shortest poem ever written:
You
Who?
And it also rhymes.
BACK TO THE
NOTE BOOK
So after writing on the top of page 1 of your 9 ½ by 6
inch note pad, white on the top line: “I / Why?”
And start writing.
I am here because of my mom and dad. Thank you mom and
dad. I am the youngest of 4 kids – and back then my parents got married later than most. Thank you Mom and Dad for having 4 kids.
Then you can write autobiography – personal experiences of neighborhoods, towns, cities,
schools, friends, jobs, joys, sorrows, babies, deaths, loves, and
what have you.
You can write about wipe outs – that wiped you out – wipe
outs you’d love to wipe out – and learning you can’t, so then you can write down what you learned from that reality.
You can write about best books, favorite songs, movies
that moved you.
You can write about surprises that surprised you in life.
You can write about the unexpected – personal earthquakes and tsunami’s as well
as lotteries that you didn’t know existed. I've wondered if women answered these questions different than men do. Here is a short film about women. What would a short film of men be like?
I read once about the value of writing down 10 answers to
the question: I am a _____.
And one writes down 10 answers to that question: I am a
male, an American, a friend, a priest, a poet, a Brooklynite, a Catholic, a
Christian, a diabetic, a walker, etc. etc. etc.
Then I read somewhere that if you extend that to 25 I am's – you will come up with
answers that might surprise and change your life.
Perhaps the best answer is: “I am me.”
Now who is that “Me”?
CONCLUSION
That’s your homework, and heart work, for 2015. I know: New Year's Resolutions never work - never go past January 10th. I know that about myself and others - but sometimes one resolution works.
So if you try this - and persevere at this, then at some point you
can start to listen to others and say to them, “Hey, who are you?”
The title of my
homily for this Sixth Day in the Octave of Christmas is, “Anna: One of Many.”
When I read
today’s gospel – Luke 2: 36-40 – I think of the thousands and thousands of
little old ladies I’ve spotted in a thousand churches.
I’ve seen them
sitting quietly in the back of a church – behind a pole off to the side in the
middle of a church – or kneeling at the communion rail up front.
Praying…. They
are praying.
Hoping …. They
are hoping.
Begging …. They
are begging God for help.
ANNA
So this gospel
story of Anna is one of many stories – of little old ladies – who have found
time and place to pray in churches, temples, mosques, shrines, holy places –
all through the years.
What a
documentary could be made – if documentary makers - just went into random churches and holy places
on the planet – and simply interviewed these women of prayer – finding out what’s
going on inside their mind at that moment. What are you doing? Whom are you
praying for?
If Anna was asked
she would answer that she was praying for the Messiah, the Savior, waiting for the
Redeemer, hoping for someone to come and tell us how to live life to the full –
how to love one another – how to be a peacemaker – how to know our God.
ALL MOTHERS HERE
All mothers here – you know the scenario. You have
dropped into your church. You’re sitting in your favorite place of prayer – to pray for one or two or more of your
children. You’ve knelt there, you’ve sat there, you’ve made the stations of the
cross there – because you’re kids and you were making the way of the cross out
there in the streets of your life.
Alcoholism,
drugs, dating the wrong person, a shaky marriage, abuse, hurts, people not
talking to people, kids out of work, kids in Afghanistan, cancer, strokes,
lupus, in jail, what have you.
A PRO ATHLETE
I worked 14 years
of my life in 2 different retreat houses
– 7 years in each.
Every year on
this one weekend a big guy – a former pro football player - would sit in the
back row of our chapel – in the closest seat to the backdoor on the right
aisle. No matter how many people were in
the chapel for a talk or for a mass – he would sit in that same seat –
sometimes nobody in any row or bench near him.
Once he said to
me, “I’m wondering if you’re wondering why I’m sitting in the back
corner?”
I said,
“No.”
“Well,” he said,
“I’ll tell you. I had dropped out of the church for at least 19 years. In our
church back home, that’s the spot my mom always half knelt and half sat for all
those years praying for me to come back to church.”
“It worked.” He
said. “Here I am praying for her and thanking her in heaven for praying for me
all through the years.”
If we made a film
documentary of little old ladies in dark old churches – we would hear stories
like that.
TESSIE
It was my first
assignment.
A good friend of
mine – named Tessie – long dead now – used to sit in the third last row of our
church – Most Holy Redeemer – Lower East Side – New York City - every afternoon
from 3 to 4. You couldn’t see her – she was hiding in front of a big church
pillar in the back of the church – not far from our O.L.P.H. shrine – which was
in the back. I noticed her husband Frank
came into church in the morning – and said his prayers.
Tessie also used
to be the money counter for Bingo every Wednesday night.
Well, one
Wednesday just before Bingo started, Tessie said to me, “I got a great story
for you.”
“I’m in church
this afternoon – in the dark – near the back – and I hear the door open. I hear
someone go over to Mary’s shrine – and I hear Father Leo starting to pray out
loud. Obviously, he didn’t know I was there – and I laid low. Well, I hear him
tell the Blessed Mother the following. ‘Thank you Mary. Thank You God, I’m just coming back from the urologist. I can pee like a little boy again.”
That moment
happened in 1968 – I can still remember it.
I’d love it if a
moment like that would be captured in a documentary about little old ladies in
churches – and what’s going on in their minds and hearts.
CONCLUSION
I’m sure Luke put
this story in his Gospel, because in his travels, he saw lots of ladies like
Anna – sitting, standing, kneeling there in prayer.
He gave Anna
praise – today let’s praise our moms and all those Little Old Ladies who showed
us the importance of praying for others –
especially the children of our world. Amen.
The title of my thoughts is, “Saint Thomas Becket.”
Today we celebrate his feast.
His dates are 1118 to 1170.
Instead of spending time for a homily on today’s readings, I decided to
revisit the movie, “Becket.”
I remembered seeing the movie - but I wondered if I could get in touch with my thoughts and feelings when I saw that movie way back in the 60's.
So I went on line and did a tiny bit of research on the movie as well as Becket's life. All I remember from the movie
was the pageantry and the costumes - as well as the stone walls in castles and cathedrals - and lots of dark shadowy scenes. I remember
that the acting was excellent: especially Richard Burton as Thomas and Peter O’Toole
as King Henry II.
THE MOVIE
The 1964 movie received 1 Academy Award and 11 nominations for an
Academy Award.
It made good money.
It makes several big mistakes historically - but the story as told on screen and stage make for good historical fiction - as well as being well written.
The movie presented the basic dynamic of two good friends – 2 drinking partners – 2 fooling around friends – who end up in deep conflict with
one another.
Besides alcohol and women, King Henry II had his problems with the church – for starters with the Archbishop of Canterbury.
Henry II wants money from the church – especially by taxing it – to finance
his wars. The Archbishop said, "No!"
He appoints his buddy Thomas to become Lord Chancellor. Then when the Archbishop of Canterbury – his enemy and
thorn in his side dies – Henry names Thomas Archbishop – with the idea he
will now be able to tax and control the church.
Surprise – good story – good plot – Thomas as Archbishop – takes his job
seriously – so seriously – that King Henry can’t control him.
Once in a drunken rage King Henry says out loud: “Will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest?”
His soldiers hear this and murder Thomas in the Canterbury
Cathedral.
News spreads through Europe of this killing – this
assassination – of an archbishop because it's the wish of a king.
And King Henry repents – at least out loud – perhaps for
public consumption – and he is flogged and beaten as a penance for his crime and involvement in the murder.
The original movie, two plays, a redoing of the movie in the 1990’s, were all quiet successful.
CHURCH
AND STATE
We are governed by both church and state – the state
obviously having more physical power.
We all need to consider both realities – including those
in public office. A Catholic is called to vote with his conscience - and to form his conscience with Gospel values and Christian teaching.
So each person needs to do his or her job – as
public official – archbishop - parent – teacher – business person - soldier - judge with God's will and the Common Good in mind.
There is a scene in the movie when the king is demanding
loyalty and follow up from Thomas - that he does Henry's will. The king says: "You're Chancellor of England; you're mine! And Becket says: "I am also the Archbishop, and you have introduced me to deeper obligations."
Isn’t that all of us?
We have lots of obligations to various people – but we
also have obligations to God – and when Jesus tells the Rich Young Man what he must do to gain eternal life - it's to keep the 2 Great Commandments - to love our God with our whole heart, mind, soul and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves.
CONCLUSION
After a bit of reading about St. Thomas Becket on line, I couldn't get in touch with what I was thinking the first time I saw the movie, "Becket." I assume Thomas is a martyr to the principal: God’s will is
service, love, and working for the common good. May we all work towards these goals. Amen.
HOW GREAT THOU ART,
SUNG BY ANNE MURRAY
Poem - Monday - December 29, 2014
HOW GREAT THOU ART
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!
When through the woods, and forest glades I wander,
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.
When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur
And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!
And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!
When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,
And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!
The title of my homily is, “Family: Looking Backwards,
Looking Forwards.”
The Church got this one right – putting this feast of the
Holy Family – around Christmas time – when we are filled with memories –
nostalgia – the past - when parents know
how much Christmas meant to them as kids – so too the desire to do likewise for
this new generation.
So that’s looking backwards. Next, looking forwards – they
put this feast of the Holy Family - at the time we are about to begin a new
year – the time we look forward with hope for a Happy New Year.
So a few words today on “Family: Looking Backwards,
Looking Forwards.
BACKWARDS
We humans have the ability to remember. Dementia is a
bummer. We can look backwards and see what happened. We can recall. We can
remember.
History is not just a class in a classroom.
Family History is perhaps the most important course we
need Home Schooling in and about.
It’s important to know – to check out - how we got to
where we got to.
It’s important to find out where the other has been.
Talk to grandparents – “What happened?” Where did you
come from?
For starters – check out three things: the stories, the
pictures, and the letters.
What are the family stories? I’ve noticed there are moments
and there are moments. I’m talking here about those moments when a kid gets
inquisitive – and starts asking how their grandparents met, where they came
from, then mom and dad – if they don’t know.
I love the story about how a Jewish family ended up in
Alabama. While doing some family research on that question, someone found out
the reason was: way back in the 1800’s while traveling west, that’s where the horse died.
I heard a cute family story at Christmas dinner at my
niece Patty’s house in Reisterstown, Maryland. The dinner took at least 2 hours
and nobody was moving from the table. I heard some old stories and I heard some
new ones.
Someone mentioned a moment about Sophie when she was in
the first grade or so. The teacher asked
the kids a question: “Does anyone have a parent that speaks a foreign
language?” Sophie raised her hand like every little kid upon hearing a
question? She said her, “Teacher! Teacher.”
Upon being called upon, Sophie told her teacher and her
class - that her dad spoke 4 languages.
I had heard the story that he didn’t speak till he was 4
years old – but when he began speaking, out came full sentences in French, Spanish, Italian and English. He's from Milan, Italy. His father taught Spanish. His nanny spoke French
and his mother went to work in Italy – from England.
The teacher then asked, “Wow, your dad spoke 4 languages.
How about your mom?”
Sophie said that her mom spoke 2 languages: English and
Pig Latin.
Meals are not just for the sharing of food. They are for the sharing
of stories - stories that feed us - stories that become us. Meals are for the sharing of self.
The Last Supper – especially in the Gospel of John –
gives us a lot of words – and it’s up to us, to put some flesh onto them.
So looking backwards, what are your family stories?
I also love it when families show and tell me a lot of
family stories – by bringing me over to the Christmas tree. They stand there and touch an ornament and they touch an experience. I'm at the Liturgy of the Word: hearing family homilies about persons and places, moments and memories - that are - embodied, transubstantiated in a personal and unique Christmas tree ornaments.
That’s stories. Next, while still looking backwards, what
and where are the family pictures?
Do we realize the importance of family pictures – on walls, on tops of bureaus, end
tables, shelves? Has anyone secured photo albums - so they won't be tossed or lost? Has anyone made sure they are
kept in a safe way - along with notations of who's who and where's where?
Question: what’s going to happen to all the pictures AD –
After Digital?
Just as it’s important to sit down on a couch and read
with one’s kids – so too sitting with kids and pointing out who’s who in the
pictures.
At Thanksgiving I sat there with over 30 people and we
watched a slide show of my nieces when they were little kids. Their kids were
there as well. There were great “Ooh’s!” and “Ah!s’. The room was filled with
laughter and people yelled out comments about hair and clothes and “Remember….”
Thirdly, still, looking backwards, has any one gathered
any letters – in one’s family museum – boxes of old letters – with the pictures
in boxes under beds or in the closets? When my mom died, I was given a packet of old letters my mom had
saved. They were letters I sent to my mom and dad from when I was away in the
seminary. They all sound the same – but they all are precious.
My sister Mary and I were just up to Scranton, PA – when we
went to my sister Peggy’s grave for the first time. We also went to Marywood
University, where one of the nuns whom Peggy had lived with gave my sister Mary
two big bags of Peggy’s personal stuff – knickknacks, etc. My sister Mary just told me before Christmas
that there were some letters in those bags that I had sent Peggy way back. What did she save?
What’s in them? What was I saying way back when?
Hopefully, we all have archives and museums of all sorts
with our stuff – in closets and cellars in our homes.
Another question: preserving one’s family history – will
we gain with technology and scanning or will we lose with e-mail etc., etc,
etc.?
LOOKING
FORWARDS
That’s looking backwards.
With a New Year about to happen on our calendars –
wouldn’t it be interesting for grand kids to discover in an attic or basement 50
old kitchen scheduling calendars from the past 50 years.
For some reason, someone thought they would be a neat
thing to save. Priceless
What would it be like for some grand kid - upon
discovering those calendars – that he or she began to notice that in the little Sunday boxes –
the word “church – 9 AM” was written -
but then see it stopped some 19 years ago?
So the kid says to her mom, “What religion were grandma
and grandpa when you were a kid?”
Silence!
Then the answer with an embarrassed hesitation:
“Catholic.”
Looking forwards – what are our church plans for 2015?
What are our God plans?
I’m sure some people have started thinking – perhaps
making plans in their minds – and then they put in their calendars plans to see
the pope in Philadelphia?
Looking forwards what are our family plans for 2015?
I heard of one family wrapping up a Christmas present for
each of their 2 kids. Inside the son discovered a Mickey Mouse Calendar and the girl a Minnie
Mouse calendar – as well as Magic Markers. Next the parents told them to turn to April – and put a circle
around 5 dates and then write in: “Disney World.”
WHEN IT COMES
TO FAMILY OR LIFE: DO I SAY, “WE” OR “I”?
I’m sure we all heard some football player who is a
leader or some coach say there is no “I” in the word “team”.
Some of you might remember Willie Stargell and the 1979
Pittsburgh Pirates singing, “We are Family” as they beat the Baltimore Orioles
in the 7th and Final World Series game in Baltimore.
On Holy Family Sunday – of course the stress is on “We”
over “I”.
Three years ago on First Sunday of Advent – the church
got it wrong in my opinion – when they switched the Creed at Sunday Mass from
“We believe…” back to “I believe….”
By Vatican II – the Second Vatican Council – the Church
had moved from the “I” to “We” – at
least in the creed at Mass.
We are a community – we are a we – more than we are a
bunch of I’s.
Some of us have seen the Mass and the Church change to a
“we” attitude.
Parish councils were in. Meetings were in. Some said,
“Ugh” and “Oh no!” as well as "Good" or "Great" to that.
Altar railings were opened up or came down.
Altars were turned around.
People would come to church and talk and listen to each other in church before
and after Mass. And some still say, "Shhhhhhush!"
In architecture we sometimes hear the discussion
about “form” and “function”. Does form follow function or vice versa? Compare
this church building to St. John Neumann. Compare old churches with new church
buildings. When people want to greet someone after Mass – it’s easier at St.
John Neumann – because of the big lobby.
Back to backwards.... The following are a few more moments of my babbling about some of
my personal theories about the issue of individualism and community – I and We.
Our world has come a long way baby from being a planet with a bunch of
nobodies – having zero or almost no value - to becoming a human community of folks who have value and personal worth. Way back when - people saw the somebodies – the kings – the have’s –
those with titles and land and servants and slaves.
A great story would be a story of a no one who became a someone.
In human evolution – it’s an important moment – when
someone discovers their voice and their value – and even more importantly – when they respect another who speaks up and says:
“I have rights.”
“I have a voice.”
“I have a vote.”
“I have a mind of my own.”
“I have feelings.”
When people start to grow, to evolve, they move from
being a have not – to someone who has.
History takes time – and sometimes some remain blind.
Men got a vote – then an equal vote.
Women finally got the vote – in some places.
Our church is slowly getting the message.
Church and society are called to give everyone a chance for upward mobility
– individual rights and value and a chance for success.
The United States stressed the individual. The I.
The goal was to make it to the top of the social ladder.
The goal – as I see it – is to move towards the “We”.
We are called by God to be community – to receive communion with and of each other –and to have
respect and recognition for all.
We should feel blessed
if we have the gift of faith - that we see that God is a “We” – a Trinity – a Father,
Son and the Holy Spirit of love amongst each other – and we are made in that
image and likeness.
Of course the “I” is important – every “I” on the planet – is important.
The becoming an “I” is just a step in human evolution - much more significant than that first step on the moon.
It takes time for caste and class to be erased in bits
and pieces in various parts of the world – a movement that started centuries
before in some cultures and countries – but obviously not all.
In society and family, women got the vote and more value
in some places and in some families - not all.
Education – education – education helped.
The French did it with the French revolution – with the
overthrow of the divine rights of the king – as well as “Upper Clergy” with a
little help from mobs and marching and the guillotine.
Not always – not everywhere….
So in our church at the Second Vatican – the “We” arrived - publicly.
Then – in my opinion - some 50 years later - the stress
on class and caste – in our church – has slipped back in – in both world and
church.
This is all my opinion of course – my “I” – how I see
stuff.
I hear Pope Francis – trying to move us back into the
Spirit of Vatican II and then go forwards. Lately he called the big boys to stop pursuing
some self-serving stuff – to move from me, me, me stuff to we, we. we stuff. This is
the so called “Francis Effect”.
I’m aware of those who love him and those who are
“frustrated with him”.
I noticed in the paper the other day – someone saying
he’s a Communist.”
Obviously, the best side of communism was a stress on the
“we” – that we’re all in this together – but in practice – to bring about that
goal – there was a massive amount of self-serving by the few – using absolute
power which Lord Acton said corrupts absolutely.
Surprise – communism crumbled – because there was a lot of self-serving in the
Soviet Union and China – for starters.
I read somewhere that Joe Stalin had some 20 million people killed
directly and indirectly. I also read that he said, “One death is a tragedy; one
million is a statistic." I also read that
Mao Zedong was responsible for the deaths of 49 to 78 million people.
And notice the breakdown of the communist states – the
“we” has become “I’s” – with some very rich Russians in place – and the “we's in many places never got a chance to be either an I or a we.
Of course, in every we, the “I’s” have to be recognized –
in order for the best church, parish, organization, to become an authentic, “We”.
Of course our church and our world has a long way to go
into the future.
CONCLUSION
I’m assuming the family is the model for world – and
church. I assume that the church and world is women and men – males and females – all working and “we-ing” together
for the good of the whole human family. Amen.
