Tuesday, June 16, 2009


THE MOMENT

Does every marriage, every relationship,
have that moment, when we pop the
question – the real question,
“Do we have between us what will
keep us together till death do us part?”

Silence….

Does the other then say, “Years ago
we said, ‘Yes – of course!’ but now
the next question is: ‘What do we have?
What do we love to come home to?
We need to be specific.’”

Silence….






© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009
YOUR EYES


Your eyes, your face, seem so elsewhere.
You seem so out of place here with me.
You seem to be in another’s room
in another’s eye, far, far from here.

Where are you?



© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009
STUPIDITY

Stupid! Stupid!
I can be so stupid.
What a mess!
I always do this!
Stupid! Stupid!
Why do I do this every time?
What do I do now?

Does this ever happen to you?


© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009
“TAKE AND READ!
TAKE AND READ!” *WHEN THE OTHER PERSON
SEEMS BETTER


Sometimes a man or a woman find
themselves in the presence
of an older person, who is self educated,
alive, in top shape, who exercises daily
and they start to feel small and stupid
for being out of shape or for not reading.

Sometimes a woman finds herself
in the presence of a woman her own age
who is extremely alive and beautiful,
someone who watches her diet and figure,
and thinking of self, the result is anger
for not taking care of oneself,
for feeling oh so bloated and oh so ugly.

Sometimes we meet a person of deep prayer
and charity and concern for others,
and we see our own selfishness and smallness
and sulk settles in. Then some of these feelings –
keep sloshing around inside of us
sometimes for years, sometimes for years.

Sometimes there is a moment .…
Well, this is the way deep conversions happen,
we go to a wake or a wedding,
or we’re gardening or in a plane or at an airport,
and we have a life changing insight or question.

Sometimes we’re simply reading a novel
or the Bible, for example, the gospel story
of Peter meeting Jesus and Jesus fills
Peter’s empty boat with fish – after fishing
all night and catching nothing – and we hear Peter
mumbling to Jesus, “Leave me alone Lord.
I am a sinful man.” When someone says that,
they are about to get it - a full boat "get it".

And we hear Jesus say,
“Don’t be afraid. Come follow me.
There are lot more fish to catch.
There is a lot more empty to fill.
There’s a lot more love for you to give.” **
Sometimes that’s all it takes.
Sometimes that’s how it happens.



* Augustine, The Confessions
of Saint Augustine,
Book 8, Chapter 12, Section 29,
Doubleday Image Book,
Translated by John K. Ryan;
Paul, Letter to the Romans 13:13-14.
** (Luke 5:1-12; John 21: 1-25)

© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009

AT THE END OF THE DOCK

We stood there together,
alone at the end of the dock,
out over the water.

Two dolphins glided by together,
laughing – gliding inches above the water –
out for what looked like an evening jog.

You were watching a Styrofoam cup
in an oil slick – floating – but going
what seemed like nowhere.

We stood there together,
alone at the end of a long conversation,
seeing that we see so, so differently.




© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009

KALEIDOSCOPE

He was so, so different from
the rest of us. He thought in splashes –
splashes of words, splashes of color,
quick dashes and laughs of thought.
Most of the time he would sit there
quietly listening, watching, figuring.
Then when he had a light or insight –
he would sometimes tell us with he saw.
His eyes and smile would burst
and erupt – first with guttural sounds –
like from a kid strapped in the backseat
of a car or in a high chair at supper
banging a spoon on a plate.
He saw with Kaleidoscope patterns.
He saw the world around us in ways
we didn’t. It wasn’t till years later
I realized he had the gift Jesus had,
“Anyone who does not welcome
the kingdom of God like a little child
will never enter it.”* God I want that gift.




* Mark 10:13-16

© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009
WONDERING ABOUT
THIS MARRIAGE?


Wondering about this marriage
in the night. Is this every marriage?
Wondering whether this will last?
Wondering what more I could be doing?
Wondering whether every couple comes to this point?
Feelings: being stuck, stalled, oh, so so the same.
Question: would it be the same for both of us
if we both of us had married another?
What’s next? What now, Lord?
You’re being quiet again.
Okay, I understand.
You’ve never been here.



© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009
REALITY THERAPY


Some nights I can’t fall asleep
because I’m still stuck
in lingering conversations
from the day before, imagining myself
telling people what I didn’t tell them,
telling people what I’m really thinking,
telling people what I really want to say.

Somewhere in that dark night
I fall asleep. I see myself sailing way beyond myself,
sailing across unknown seas.
I see my Illiads and my Odysseys,
heading for new ports – escaping to places
where life is the way I dream it could be.

Suddenly the alarm screams
like a fog horn in the harbor.
I have to get out of bed
and do those everyday things
sailors need to do and then
pull up anchor and set sail for
a new day. Reality Therapy.


© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009
ABOUT TIME


It was the first time
in a long time
that I had some time,
so it was a good time,
this time.


© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009
GATE 43

Muffled commotions from the loudspeaker,
then the motions of people quickly standing,
gathering their children and their crayons,
telling me your plane just landed,
but my emotions were the loudest loudspeaker.
You’re almost here, almost home, almost.


© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009

HOW LONG?


As we were walking around
the mile or so lake,
he was asking me questions.
Luckily I guessed he was really
talking out loud to himself.

“How long am I going to keep on
wallowing in my own mess?”

“How long am I going to keep
on repeating these same mistakes?”

“How long will it be before I can learn to
forgive myself for so much wasted time in my life?”

“How long do I want to sit
in my own s…?” It rhymed.


We were walking and walking.
He kept talking and talking.

We came to a beginning,
so I asked, “Do you want to walk
around the lake again?

He said, “Of course.
Thanks.”

And I said to myself,
“Well maybe by talking,
he was beginning to walk away from it all.”

Then the inner thought,
“I guess this is what friends are for….”

Then the afterthought,
“How long before I’ll be the one
walking in his shoes.”



© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009
ICE CUBE

Caught in the confines
of this glass….
Sort of stuck in here.
Clinging to the top,
just floating,
listening, wondering,
refusing to sink,
dying to get out of here.
Looking through the glass
I know what’s out there.….
Seeing so many others
in this same situation …
floating here and there …
shaking at times.
Too many times
it really doesn’t feel
like a happy hour to me.
Wondering: is this it?
Is this what it’s all about?
Formed, created
in the refrigerator womb,
then clunked out here
into this world, floating, melting….
Then do I disappear into
the vast place called, “Nowhere”
or God am I missing something?


© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009
PARTY PERSON

All alone in a crowded room,
a drink in my hand….
Do they call this the cocktail hour
before the big meal or is now
called preprandials?
How do you spell that?
Is it preprandial or pre-prandial?
Knowing nobody,
feeling like the stain
I just left when I put my glass
with ice down for a moment
on a wooden book shelf along
the wall of this enormous library
looking room. “Uh oh!” I uttered
or muttered out loud,
but nobody heard me.
"Ooops.!" A waitress did.
With a smile on her face,
with napkins in one hand
she wiped up the circle of my stain.
Then she offered me
tiny toothpicked hors d’oeuvres
on the silver platter in her other hand.
I took one piece of something
and said “Thank you!”
I looked at the big toothpick
that shishkabobed the “something”
and wondered about the
yellow cellophane paper
on the end of these toothpicks.
How do they make these toothpicks?
When she walked away
I looked at the wooden shelf.
No damage. “Phew!”
No ring was left behind.
Sometimes I wish disappearing
with a napkin wipe would work
as easy for me. But only sometimes....


© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009
NEGATIVES

After Mass, standing there,
shaking so many hands
of so many folks shooting by,
“Hi!” “Good sermon.” “Thanks!”

Unfortunately, I’m human, so
I only remember negative comments.

“Too long!” “Can I make a suggestion?”
“No clue to what you were talking about!”

But today was different.
This lady stopped and said,
“Liked your sermon
on what it means
to be human.
You didn’t mention anything negative.
Liked that. Thanks.”

And off she went.
What a great sermon! Thanks Lady.
I still thinking about what you said.


© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009

Sunday, June 14, 2009

WHAT MAKES US HUMAN?
THE CALL TO REACH OUT
TO THE DIVINE


INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “What Makes Us Human? The Call to Reach Out to the Divine.”

Paraphrasing today’s gospel: Go up Bestgate Road or down Bestgate Road and you’ll come to a light at Ridgley and Bestgate. Turn there and go down about 150 yards and then turn into St. John Neumann’s complex. Park and come into church – and you’ll find a large room furnished and ready for worship.

WHAT MAKES US HUMAN?

The other day on All Things Considered, a program on NPR radio, Jacki Lyden interviewed a Harvard Anthropologist named Richard Wrangham. He has a new book coming out entitled, “Catching Fire: How Cooking Made Us Human.”

That’s his thesis – eating raw meat can take an enormous amount of time, so cooking our meat sets us apart from the beasts. It’s the difference between 8 hours and 1 hour. Cooked food is easier to digest. Cooking also forced people to protect the food – which Richard Wrangham holds became the job of the males – the stronger ones – while the females did the cooking. He says this started some 1.8 million years ago and established roles amongst males and females.

It’s a theory. Others would say what makes us human is our ability to make advanced tools, to stand tall, to contemplate, to feel, to think, to be self aware, to develop a morality – as well as freedom – to collaborate with others – to develop music, humor, art.

Lower animals use tools and sing – the morning birds and the crickets of night. They feel loss and hurt – but humans do all this much deeper. We have a bigger brain – and we are a lot more complex.

TODAY’S READINGS

Today’s readings bring out another thing that makes us human: building places so we can worship and reach out to the divine.

I’ll have to look at the movie, “Planet of the Apes” again, to see if they do any worshipping. I don’t think so.

In today’s first reading from the Book of Exodus, Moses has a God experience and comes down the mountain and builds an altar with 12 pillars for the 12 tribes of Israel. They offer up holocausts – animals – they have slain and then cooked. They made offerings to God and put half the blood in bowls and the other half he splashed on the altar. Then he took the book of the covenant and read it aloud and the people said, “All that the Lord has said we will heed and do.” Then he took the blood and sprinkled it on the people saying, “This is the blood of the covenant that the Lord has made with you in accordance with all these words of his.”

That’s liturgy. That’s worship. That’s an attempt to reach God so God can help us.

Humans do this kind of stuff – primitive as well as advanced peoples.

We have to reflect upon these scenes in order for us to understand ourselves as humans, as Jews as well as being Christians.

In today’s second reading from The Letter to the Hebrews we hear more about worship – coming here to this sanctuary, sprinkling blood, and experiencing a new covenant – a new stage from our roots in Judaism.

In today’s gospel from Mark, we have Jesus giving directions on how to set up the upper room – so Jesus can celebrate the new Covenant Meal – with and for us. He meets to eat with his 12 apostles – his 12 pillars – at a table.

As we heard in today’s gospel and at every Mass, Jesus took bread and wine, and said this is my body and this is my blood. Then singing a hymn they went out to the Mount of Olives.

To be human is to worship – to build places of worship – and if you search the world, there are places of worship – as well as ruins of temples everywhere – signs of what human beings did to reach the Divine – a power beyond themselves.

THE SOURCE

I remember reading James Michener’s book, “The Source”. It was close to 700 pages.

There is a scene in it where a woman planted a whole field of wheat or some crop. Humans were moving from just being hunters and gatherers to becoming farmers.

She almost has this whole field partly finished – planted – and she looks up and sees storm clouds headed her way. She has in her garments a lot of seeds for more planting and she instinctively yells out to the power in the storm. “Here take these hard earned seed that I picked and I sacrifice them if you save my field!” And she throws the seeds toward the storm clouds and the storm moves away in another direction.

James Michener is imagining what primitive people did in their search to control life and suffering.

He says that’s what’s behind all the sacrifices people make to try to get God to do good stuff for us, to protect us, to save us.

If we look at our lives, we do these same primitive things as well – to try to tell God to do what we want.

Worship makes us human. Building altars make us human. Prayer makes us human.

When someone in the family gets sick, we get to church. We get to God. We get praying. To be human is to pray.

I remember coming here to St. John Neumann for the 12:10 Mass one weekday and a family were just coming out of their car and they asked me if the church is open and if they could go in and pray. I said, “Great. Is everything okay?” “No,” they answered, “our mom is quite sick and we said, ‘We better go to church and pray.’”

WHAT MAKES US HUMAN?

What makes us human?

We can go to the zoo or watch Animal Planet on television – and see how animals do things that seem human. To some people, their cat or dog is their best friend.

The first book of the Bible, Genesis, deals with all this: there is Adam with all those animals – but he can’t find a suitable partner – till Eve is formed.

Dogs and cats – domesticated animals – are neat – and serve us – but we are called to evolve towards God – in whose image and likeness we are made – to be in communion with God.

I would posit that relationships with each other as well as with God are what make us the most human.

CONCLUSION: EATING TOGETHER

And one key human moment is eating together

Today is the feast of Corpus Christi – the Body of Christ. The Mass is basically a meal – a sacrificial meal – the Passover Meal and we want troubles to pass over our families and our homes.

The night before Jesus died he had a last meal, a last supper, with his disciples.

On the table would be the cooked Pascal Lamb – along with bread and wine. He chose bread and wine and said he was the Pascal Lamb that takes away the sins of the world. Take and eat. Take and eat.

This meal – this Jesus – makes us fully human – fully divine.

Take and eat. Take and eat.