April 20, 2019

BIRDS

Drones long before drones ….

Birds … drifting high above the waves,

above the  waters, above the woods….

Hunters:  hawks, ospreys, eagles,

spotting what’s below ….

totally focused on prey, food, capture …

somewhat different from backyard

birds - robins, sparrows, cardinals …

different too from blackbirds and crows -

those noisy brats, cawing, screaming.

with ready claws  over garbage dumps ….

There are lessons to be learned -

bird watching all birds - as Jesus told us

to see -  to be like kids at the shore -

to be like sandpipers dancing on the beach,

to be like hummingbirds - dart throwers

at the local pub. To open our eyes, to see,

to watch, to  listen, to catch: a lot is present.

 © Andy Costello, Reflections 2019

April    20, 2019 

Thought for today: 

“Life is an adventure in forgiveness.” 

Norman Cousins, 

Saturday Review, 

April 15, 1978

THE  BROKEN  CRUCIFIX

She could hear them tell each other -  that she - this lady - their mom - their sister -  in this deathbed - had only a short time to live.

She was happy they were there - at her bedside - her three kids - 2 sons and a daughter - as well as 2 brothers and a sister - whom she had not connected enough through the second half of their lives.

The priest had been there. At least a half-dozen of her closest friends - had been there. The priest had anointed her forehead and the palms of her hands with the sacred oil and the sacred prayers.  The friends had anointed her with their sacred stories - a few funny things that happened on a few bus rides - as well as when they worked together in the Altar Rosary Society - 2 terms - 6 years.

But what she really saw was the broken crucifix on the bare light tan wall above her bureau on the other side of the room from her bed.  It had fallen three times. It was broken three times. It was glued back together three times - each time by her.

The first time it fell was when she was 11 years old. Her father was dying and the emergency rescue squad was called to their house and in moving him out on a gurney - one firefighter got squeezed in the maneuvering - into the wall - his helmet hitting the crucifix. It fell. And the small 18 inch plaster statue of Christ on the wooden cross broke into 4 pieces when  it hit the wooden bedroom floor.

The rescue squad  kept moving - down the tight staircase - to the front door - with dad strapped onto the gurney - oxygen mask over his mouth - out to the ambulance - and off to the local hospital. The live body was more important than the broken body of Christ

Upstairs she picked up the broken crucifix - the broken Christ.

She kept it in her and her sister’s room.

That summer - after her father’s death - she put the pieces of Christ’s broken body - back together - with white paste glue - that she used in art class - at school.  It worked. She was meticulous and made the 4 broken pieces of the broken Christ fit exactly back together.

After two days - after it had dried - after she got it  firmly back together - the wooden cross with the plaster Christ - she put it back again on her parent’s bedroom wall.

Down through high school years, she would semi-consciously spot that crucifix many times when she got home from school or sports or work and walked up the stairs to her and her sister’s bedroom on the second floor.

When her mom died - when they were asking who wanted what from the house, she said, “Number 1:  I’ll take the crucifix in mom and dad’s bedroom.”

She got it and put it in her bedroom - in her house - on the wall - that she was facing when she was sleeping.

It fell two more times in the years to come. Each time she repaired the broken Christ - each time with better and better glue: Crazy Glue - then Monster Glue.

And now it was her time to die …. In a bed room - facing that crucifix.

She was happy she was dying at home - unlike dad and mom. Dad died in the hospital that night - the night  the rescue crew came to their house and the crucifix fell for the first time. Mom died in a nursing home - but only two weeks after she went there.  The plan was to bring the cross to the nursing home - but death was arriving too soon.

“Good thing,” she realized.  “Maybe it would have got lost in the events of  mom’s death.”

Now - those around here bed were  nervous quiet - making nervous comments - as she lay there dying in her own bed.

She felt joy and sorrow - not enough glory - some light - looking back at these series of mysteries called life.

They figured she was in a semi-conscious space and place - figuring the morphine had pretty much knocked her out.

She was talking to Christ - her broken and her mended Christ - on her wooden cross - on her bedroom wall.

She was saying and praying for her kids, “Father forgive them because they don’t know yet what they are doing.”

She figured only her youngest would want that cross like she did - when her mom died. This last one -  was still going to church - along with her 6 kids - sometimes reluctantly.

She knew her other 3 kids were not broken enough yet to know how Christ shows up in the pages and rosary beads of our lives.

“When we need him.”

She prayed for all 4 of her kids - hoping they will find the right glue - called redeeming healing  - when they realize their broken spaces.

She prayed for her ex - long gone - far away and she thanked our Lord for teaching her forgiveness. It took her at 10 years to move from Jesus words on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?”  to her favorite prayer and words from the cross, “Father forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing.”

She opened her eyes one last time - before she died that Friday  afternoon - she looked at the broken Christ - her broken crucifix - and smiled - and every one of those around the bed told the following story for years to come.

“Mom opened her eyes one last time before she died. She smiled as she looked at me. Then she closed her eyes and died. She had such a peace filled look. Amen.”

April 19, 2019

THE ONGOING

FLOW OF  BLOOD

The blood dripped and dropped

off his body - hands, feet, side -

down to the hard dirt below….

The hard dirt below became mud

and rain as the blood sunk deeper

and deeper into the dirt and earth.

Does it ever end? Did it ever stop?

Is his blood somehow upon us

and upon our children?  Hope so.

So we walk up aisles. We walk up to

the cup and sip the blood of Christ and

then we bring ourselves to each other.

  © Andy Costello, Reflections 2019

Painting by

Matthias_Grünewald

1470-1528

April    19, 2019  - Good Friday

Thought for today: 

“What does the apotheosis of the Cross mean, if not the death of death, the defeat of sin, the beatification of martyrdom, the raising to the skies of voluntary sacrifice, the defiance of pain.”  

Henri Amiel, Journal, 1882

Painting on top:

Yellow Crucifixion

by Paul Gaugin [1848-1903]

April 18,  2019

April    18, 2019 

Thought for today:

“My father died 

many years ago, 

and yet when something special 

happens to me, 

I talk to him secretly 

not really knowing 

whether he hears, 

but it makes me feel better 

to half believe it. 

Natasha Josefowitz, 

Is This Where 

I Was Going? 

Warner 1983

April 18, 2019

LIMITS

Accepting limitations ….

Is that one of the secrets of happiness?

Tires wear out ….

Plates have edges ….

Wallets can only hold so much ….

Skin ages … wrinkles … flakes ….

The clock ticks ….

Does the sky out there ever end and edge?

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2019

HOLY THURSDAY

The title of my reflection  is, “Holy Thursday.”

We priests and lots of other people are probably wondering if the dramatic and devastating fire in Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris  - will bring even more people to Holy Week and Easter services and liturgies this week around the world.

This morning I’d like to reflect out loud on a few possible reflections for Holy Thursday - and its meanings.

Holy Thursday we celebrate Christ gathering with his disciples for the Passover Meal.  It’s the last meal Christ has with his disciples before he passes over from this life to the next.

What are the last words we want to say to those we love and those whom we have spent our life with?  As priest I’ve heard a lot of those words at bedsides with dying people.  If you want to hear the last words of Jesus, read the Last Supper words of Jesus around the table - especially in the Gospel of John.

Continue this week with his words in the garden - Could you not stay awake with me for 1 hour? Continue this week with his words from the cross on Good Friday.

Today reflect on all the care those we know and love gave to us and we to them.  At the Last Supper Jesus washed his disciples’ feet. At the service tonight our pastor and thousands and thousands  of priests around the world will wash the feet of Christ’s disciples.  Reflect also  on all those in hospitals and nursing homes - and everyday homes who care for those who are sick - for those who are dying - as well as babies and those who need care and daily washing.

Today we reflect upon bread and wine - the Mass - the Meal - and all the tables of the world - where and when people feed each other.  We reflect upon all the love and all the work and all the effort that goes into a meal. The shopping, the preparing, the cooking and the cutting - paid for by the workers of the world.

We pray, “Give us this day our daily bread.”

We pray for those out of work.

We reflect on the meaning of food.  Farmers, manufactures,  truck drivers, time for wheat to grow in our fields and wine in our vineyards.  The poetry and the mystery of animals - lambs - including the Pascal Lamb - dying to give us life and nourishment.

Today - Holy Thursday - we also  think about priests and the need for priests that parents and siblings and parishioners to encourage priests.

Good stuff to think about.

So we need churches like those recently torched in Louisiana - as well as Notre Dame - as well as this church building and St. John Neumann - for people to come and pray and be reflective - like us this morning and this evening - and many more mornings and evenings in our lives. Amen.

April  17, 2017

ENTRANCE INTO ME

Take off the lid ….

Open the door ….

Hand me a key ….

Turn the knob ….

Lift the latch ….

Break the ice ….

Lift the sewer cover ….

Put a light in the window ….

Climb the wall ….

Scream ….

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2019

April    17, 2019 

Thought for today: 

“Because of indifference, one dies before one actually dies.” 

Elie Wiesel

April 16, 2019

WOODEN  FLOOR 

 

The wooden floor would scream if 

someone dared to cover it with carpet. 

It got comments, “Beautiful floor! Wow!” 

It got noticed - the morning light glistened it. 

Yet the wooden floor missed the cold  

of winter and the growth of summer. 

It missed swaying in the wind and 
the play of birds. It missed its freedom.

But the wooden floor refused to tell me

which it liked better: back then or right now.

 © Andy Costello, Reflections 2019 

April 16, 2019

April    16, 2019 

Thought for today: 

“There is only one  cardinal rule: One must listen  to the patient.” 

Doctor Oliver Sacks, 

quoted by Walter Clemons, 

“Listening to the Lost,” 

Newsweek August 20, 1984

JUDAS  AND  PETER

INTRODUCTION

It’s Tuesday of Holy Week -- Holy Week. Today’s readings get us to look at two people: Judas and Peter.

Looking at my life: am I more like Peter or more like Judas?

People move us. People motivate us. Judas and Peter still are impacting our world—still making us think.

Today’s two readings get us into the question of darkness and light—how we can move into the dark—into sin—into death.

Today’s first reading talks about light, but we soon leave the light when we move into listening to the second reading. There is a line that grabs us: “It was night!”

HEART OF DARKNESS

Joseph Conrad wrote a book on all this. It’s called “The Heart of Darkness.”  There are a few movie versions of this book by Joseph Conrad. It’s the story of a man trying to figure out what happened to Kurtz—who moved deeper into the jungle—into The Heart of Darkness. Maybe you saw the  movie, Apocalypse Now. Same theme - same name: Kurtz moving into the jungle.

Judas and Peter both moved into The Heart of Darkness

MESSAGE

So my message, my suggestion today is to meditate on Judas and Peter.

Talk with them. Ask them questions. Be with them in their struggles.

JUDAS

Take Judas. The tendency is to avoid him as if he had AIDS.

Why?

The value would be is that Judas personalizes sin.

He also personalizes redemption.

Question: Why did Judas do it?

ANSWERS

There have been many answers to the WHY question—the “Why did he do it?” question down through the years.

We see some answers in Scripture as well as other writers.

Some answers are:

avarice and greed: Judas held the money (Scripture hints at this), especially in the story of Mary washing Jesus’ feet with the expensive perfume (yesterday’s gospel).  People steal from their mother’s purse or their father’s wallet - or from a fund at school or on the job and their sin is always before them.

anger: Jesus put him down publicly at that occasion. Maybe he wanted to strike back.

jealousy: Perhaps Jesus was putting others first.

assumptions: Perhaps his assumptions about Jesus might have been wrong and he was filled with frustration that he made a mistake.

pride: perhaps he was also filled with pride that he had made a mistake, had made the wrong judgment about Jesus.

WE DON’T KNOW

Or we can say, “We don’t know!” We don’t know. All we have are the gospel writers who also seem to trying to answer the “Why” question. They play with a lot of the human emotions when they write about Judas.

Dante puts Judas on the lowest level of hell— not there for robbing the local collection - down there along with Brutus—they were the traitors—people who betrayed a friend.

PETER

Peter was like a kid. He got caught with his hand in the cookie jar and he panicked. He said that he didn’t know Jesus.

SIN IS COMPLEX

Sin is complex.

We often don’t know why we sin.

It’s deep. Each sin is tied in with every other sin.

The sin of the world.

Others have effected us. We are part of all that we have met and we have effected others by our sin.

TEMPTATION

The temptation is to give up when we sense all this.

The temptation is to say the hell with Christ.

We want to betray him.

And then when we do that, we want to leave Christ.

We want to hide. We want to be like Judas and commit suicide, to hang ourselves, quickly, or like most, slowly, slowly hanging in the wind, slow psychological suicide, morbidity, laziness, the easy route out.

CHOICE

But we don’t have to go that way. We can choose to be Christ, to die on the cross because of others, or life.

Or to be like Peter, to fall and keep trying to get up, even though we will hear the rooster waking us up every morning.

Be Christ, not Judas.

Or at least be Peter not Judas.

CONCLUSION

I always wish that Judas hesitated—and waited two more days. He could have experienced resurrection and a new dawn. He could have seen the light. I wish he could have run into Peter or one of the disciples who could have helped him. It’s not good to be alone. It’s not good to be lost in the night.

Help!

Amen! Come Lord Jesus.

Peter didn’t kill himself. Yet, as the tradition puts it, for the rest of his life he cried each morning as he heard the cock crow. That’s an old tradition. You can find it in a poem by Elizabeth Bishop entitled, “Roosters.”

JESUS AS PERFUME

INTRODUCTION

It’s Monday of Holy Week. Today I’d like to reflect upon the image of Jesus as Perfume.

Jesus is the one whose presence can pervade and perfume our life.

It’s the image that hit me when I read today’s gospel which tells the story of Mary and how she perfumed the feet of Jesus – and then dried them with her hair.

PERFUME

We’ve all had the experience of walking into an elevator or into an empty room and being hit by the scent of perfume. Nobody is in the empty space, but we know that someone was there by the scent of lingering perfume.  Someone was there - someone with a strong perfume was there. Sometimes we know who it was; sometimes we don’t.

Or haven’t we had the experience of shopping and we pay for something by cash. We gave the cashier a twenty and he or she gives us some coins and two singles as change. And one of the singles is a dollar bill that is heavily perfumed. It must have been out on a heavy date last night. Wouldn’t it be interesting to know its history. Michel Quoist wrote a wonderful prayer poem about the journey of a twenty dollar bill.

How many times have we sat at the doctor’s office or somewhere and we start to get the scent of perfume coming from somewhere and surprise it’s one of those pull off perfume adds in a magazine.

Well, why not see the Bible being filled with passages that are perfume. Just open the book, pull up passages, and let the perfume drift out. Let the Spirit of the Lord come upon you as it did to Jesus. Let it come on us like perfume. Be anointed in the oil of gladness. Let the Good News invade us like perfume. Catch the scent of Jesus.

Perfume lingers. Perfume invades. Perfume clings. Perfume pervades.

SMOKE & STUFF IN THE AIR

We can say the same thing about smoke that we say about perfume. People with a good sense of smell say things like, “Somebody who uses this car smokes.” They don’t even have to open the ash tray to tell us that.

I’m sure it’s the same for people who suffer from allergies. People with allergies can tell us about stuff that is in the air or must be in the air, “because my allergies are acting up.”

And in the past 25 years we have been hearing all about the danger of asbestos, toxic fumes, chemicals, all kinds of stuff that might be in the air, but we don’t see them. They can move into us because they are in the atmosphere around and surrounding us.

PERFUME – JESUS AS PERFUME

This is true especially of perfume. That’s what I’m pushing in this homily: the image of perfume pervading the air or something – and then seeing Jesus as perfume.

An old writer named Ben Amin talked about “The person whose perfume is Jesus” – so I’m borrowing his image.

The person who spends time with Jesus gets perfumed by Jesus.

This is Holy Week. It’s important to spend time with Jesus all through the year, but this week is very important to spend extra time with Jesus. Spend time with Jesus. Catch his spirit, his atmosphere, his breath, his sweetness, his perfume.

Spend time letting the spirit of Jesus pervade us. Allow Jesus to wash our feet with water, and anoint us with perfume. Allow him to anoint our minds with his spirit. Anoint our heart, our attitudes with his love.

OBJECTION

Of course we can object. We can say that we are very busy. We can say things like: “Why isn’t our time spent in work? Why isn’t our time spent with the poor?”

But isn’t that the sentiment of Judas in today’s gospel?

Of course, there isn’t enough time. We’re always tied up.

But behind those words, aren’t we really saying that there are more important things to do than pray? Of course it’s important to be with and help the poor. And Jesus would respond that the poor are always with us – and he would add, “Stay with me. Could you not watch one hour? Be with me.”

And then when we go out of our inner room – or inner garden – then we can bring our Spirit to other rooms – to other gardens. The day will come when we will be called upon to rush into the world with Jesus’ Spirit – Jesus’ Breath, The Holy Spirit.

ISAIAH

Today’s first reading is from Isaiah.

Jesus seems to have read more of Isaiah than what he read that day in the synagogue in Nazareth.  He seems to have allowed the perfume, the spirit, of Isaiah pervade him. Jesus felt the need to spread Justice, to free prisoners, to lift people up.

We won’t be doing that unless we spend time in prayer. 

300 PIECES OF SILVER

And in today’s gospel, we see the opposite spirit. We see a mean spirit -  a toxic spirit. We smell that something is rotten with Judas. He has a toxic evil that kills people. In the spirit of Judas, we smell a bad spirit. We smell something’s fishy. We see that he has a selfish spirit.

The Gospel of John harps on this. He reports that Judas says, “Why isn’t this perfume sold and given to the poor?” It’s worth 300 pieces of silver - 300 days’ wages. Picture that: 300 days wages. It’s a year’s salary, if you allow for 52 Sabbaths and some holidays. Then he goes out to sell the perfume called Jesus for 30 pieces of silver.

He was not a man whose perfume was Jesus.

CONCLUSION: ME AND YOU

When we walk into a room, what spirit do we bring?

Do I bring an “Oh yes” or an “Oh no?”

I asked myself that while preparing this homily. What do I emit? Do I give off a nice spirit or am I an old fart? Am I bad breath? Am I a toxic disaster? Do I give off fumes that destroy?

Am I the perfume called Jesus or the bad spirit called Judas, called Satan?

Each of us is called to be Good News. Do we bring that to each other when we walk into a room? Or am I bad news? Oh, God, not him again.

Turn to Jesus. Spend time with Jesus. Let him perfume us - wash us  -  invade us. Then we’ll bring that spirit to our world. So that all the world will be filled with the atmosphere of Jesus. People will know we were in the room, long after we are gone. The perfume of Jesus lingers. It’s around. It can fill the whole world.

QUOTES

Archilochus – “Old women should not seek to be perfumed.” Fragment 27 – Early 8^th Century BC – Bartlett’s, 62-1

MACBETH: “All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand.” Shakespeare, Macbeth, Bartlett’s 239:27

PERFUME:  “Perfumes, colors and sounds echo one another.” Charles Baudelaire, Bartlett’s 580:18

April 15, 2015

IN  THE  HEART

Aches, pains, hurts, memories,

desires, fires, loves, wonderings,

hungers, thirsts, and mysteries ….

These and so much more - which an

echocardiogram [ECG] or an

electrocardiogram [EKG] can’t see  ….

So we need another’s ear,

another’s heart, another’s voice,

to ask what’s going on in our heart ….

 © Andy Costello, Reflections 2019

April    15, 2019 

Thought for today: 

“One should be able to return to the first sentence in  a  novel and find the resonances  of  the entire work.”  

Gloria Naylor, New 

York Times, June 2, 1985

I HAVE GRASPED YOU 

BY THE HAND

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for Monday in Holy Week is, “I have grasped you by the hand.”

I heard that message in today’s first reading from Isaiah 42:6.

I can picture that image.

HELD BY THE HAND

The little kid is scared. It’s her first day at school.  Her mom or dad or both are holding her hand as she is being led into school.

The old man is dying. He’s in hospice. His family is around the bed - and they are holding his hand.

I had a wedding on Saturday afternoon. The bridegroom  tells me at the  practice, “See that guy over there in the front bench.  When he was 12 and his sister was 9, they were at Disneyland. They weren’t in the car - when his parents were in the car  - and they were both killed.” I’m sure when those two kids went to their parents funeral Mass, when they walked into church - their hands were held by their uncles and aunts - coming down the aisle.

A neighbor dies at the age of 49.  His wife comes down the aisle - this time alone - but her neibghbor and her husband never hold hands walking across the parking lot towards the church - but this Monday morning they do.

GOD HOLDS US BY THE HAND

Isaiah - in today’s first reading - tells us that God holds us by the hand.

Picture ourselves walking into heaven God holding us by the hand.

This God who created the universe - this God who created everything - this God who gave us the gift of breath and life - this God who made all the crops - this God grasps us by the hand.

This God walks us out of the prison of darkness and into the light - walks us out holding our hand.

Kenneth Clark, in his fascinating book and in his TV documentary on Civilisation, talks about Europe in the 1800’s trying to grasp light - in the enlightment - joy in the great works of Bethoven - meaning - reason - hope - in great paintings.

That is true for every age and every person - out hands, our eyes, our ears,  are hoping to grab, grasp, answers, God, meaning.

Picture Christ’s hands nailed to the cross this week - wanting to have God his father to reach down to his son who was feeling forsaken and grasp him.

Picture Christ picturing Mary of Martha and Mary fame - just below him at Calvary - looking her in the eye - knowing she had anointed him with expensive perfume  just a short time earlier for his death.

Picture Mary his mother grasping Jesus’ hands  when they took him down from the cross.

CONCLUSION

During this Mass - take one of your hands and with it grasp your other hand and remember all those who held you by the hand during this life.

During communion at this mass when you receive Christ - hold him tight for a moment by hour hand and then enter into deeper communion with him.