THE 13 YEAR OLD ATHEIST

Once upon a time there was this 13 year old atheist.

“13 years old?”

“Yes. 13 years old.”

“And he didn’t believe there was a God?”

“Correct.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope.”

It began inside his head – while thinking to himself – that he didn’t believe there was a God.

He didn’t like going to church.

Then he got very serious about not believing there was a God – by saying out loud at least once a week, “There is no God!”

And he had his arguments to prove the point, “If there is a God, why would God let forest fires destroy people’s homes and why would God let earthquakes happen? If there is a God, why would God let people die? These things are random at times – and so fires and floods and earthquakes could be rearranged!”

He liked getting into arguments about God during his first year of high school – especially with kids he knew who went to church – kids who believed in God.

When he was in the 8th grade, his dad died in a car accident. A 17 year old teenager – drunk as a skunk – crashed into his father’s car without stopping at a red light. He went right through an intersection and didn’t stop. The drunk kid wasn’t hurt – didn’t even get a scratch – but the father was killed instantly.

His mom went to pieces with her husband’s death – 3 kids. How was she going to take care of them – one about to go to high school in a year and the other 2 in grade school?

Some thought that was the reason he didn’t believe in God.

Other kids argued back, “Well who made the stars – the sun – and all this whole universe we’re part of? None of us can reach that far."

And he said, “That doesn’t prove anything. It just proves that there is a universe and we’re part of it.”

Another kid said, “I believe in God, whom I never saw, but I never saw my great, great, great, great grandfather, but I know he existed, because I exist.”

The 13 year atheist said, “That’s the same as the universe existing. Of course, you have great, great, great, great, great, great, great, and then many more great grandparents, but your argument just proves you exist and your grandparents exist – but not that God exists.”

One kid in his class said, “I have an argument that proves there is a God and it’s this: if there wasn’t a God people who never say, ‘Oh my God!' when they see a great football catch or they see a rainbow or they see a 6000 passenger cruise ship or an air craft carrier!’”

And the 13 year old atheist answered, “So if someone says, ‘Holy Cow!’ that means cows are holy. Come up with a better argument.”

Nobody ever went after his statement that if there was a God. God would not people die. Nobody asked, "Well, what about overpopulation - huge traffic jams - nursing homes with thousands of thousands of thousand year old people?" If somebody did ask him, he was prepared to say that sometimes death is a blessing.

At some point his classmates stopped arguing with him.

But one kid said, “The day will come when you’ll realize that there is a God – and you won’t see that day coming – till it comes.”

And sure enough, 2 years later, when he was 15 years old, and just starting his third year of high school, his little sister who was in the 1st grade gave him a crayon colored picture of a cow eating grass in a field.

The picture was on a plain piece of white paper – 8 ½ x 11 inches. It had a blue cow – who had 8 legs – a black fence – a farmer’s red barn – and a brown farm house – and lots of green grass – and a bright yellow sun in the sky.

And down in the right hand corner were the words, “Made by Sarah!”

He pointed to the cow and asked his sister Sarah, “What’s this?”

She said, “It’s a cow.”

And he said, “Cows are not blue, nor do they have 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 legs.”

Sarah said, “Well that’s the way I wanted to draw my cow. I wanted to give her 8 legs so it would be easier for her to stand there all day biting and chewing grass – and I made her blue because blue is my favorite color.”

“Well,” her brother said, “but that’s not the way God makes cows.”

Silence…. A strange silence.

Then Sarah said very softly, looking sideways – and up to her brother with a sweet smile on her face, and a twinkle in her eye, “I thought you didn’t believe in God.”

Silence.

And he said to himself inwardly, “Oh my God! Kids listen.”

It would take him many more years to hear Jesus’ words about out of the mouths of children many times comes wisdom.

But at that moment he also felt an, “Uh oh! My cover is blown.”

That night he had a dream – a dream where he heard a voice say, “Joseph,” that was his first name, “Son of David,” that was his dad’s name, “do not be afraid to believe in God.”

With that he woke up. His dream was a nightmare. He hands were fists. He was afraid. He just had an “Uh oh!” dream.

He couldn’t get back to sleep, so he got up and walked around. He went downstairs and opened the back door of their house and he went outside.

It was cold, but he had a blanket wrapped around himself.

He sat down on one of the chairs they had on their back porch. He had never sat down on these chairs before. Whenever he was in their background, he running or playing. Besides, porch chairs are for old folks.

It was very cold. He looked up at the 3 o’clock in the morning dark, dark, grey sky. He could see some stars and all was beautiful. He saw a shooting star and it was absolutely amazing. Then he thought he saw on the bottom part of the sky in front of him – on the bottom, right hand corner, the words, “Made by God.”

It was still very cold – and those words were like his sister’s words which she had said to him sideways, “I thought you didn’t believe in God.”

So he headed back upstairs – back to bed – to hide under the covers – and it took him a while to fall asleep again. Soon he was back to dreaming. Soon he had the dream he had earlier. Once more he heard a voice that said, “Joseph,” that was his first name, “Son of David”, that was his dad’s name, “do not be afraid to believe in God.”

This time he didn’t wake up from his dream.

Yet, he realized everything, when he woke up the next morning.

He felt like a different person.

Thanks to his sister Sarah in the 1st grade he began to see down in the right hand corner of everything he saw that was made by God, the imaginary words, “Made by God!” and he also saw on the bottom of everything made by us – cars, pizza, motorcycles, footballs, T-Shirts, – the words, “Made by us!”

Slowly he switched from being an atheist to becoming a philosopher and then to being a theologian. Slowly he realized God made the skies, the sun, the moon and the stars, bananas, trees, flowers, the ocean, rain, lightning, people, and 4 legged cows – cows that were brown – brown and white, and sometimes black and white.

Slowly he realized that people sometimes mess up God’s world – by leaving around Burger King burger boxes and Starbucks paper coffee cups – and sometimes people get drunk and drive and kill people – and that we need rain and lightning and fire – and sometimes people are in the wrong place at the wrong time – and sometimes people say, “Oh my God!” and sometimes little sisters – say the right thing at the right time.

His words, his thoughts, had become a prayer, “Oh my God, you’re so God. You’re so cool. Dare I ask, ‘Are you blue?’”

Then it hit him, “I’ll have to ask my sister Sarah what color she pictures God?”

He did. He asked her one day, “Sarah what color is God. Do you picture him blue?”

And she said, “You’re so silly, Joseph. Haven’t you seen pictures of Jesus? Ever since that first Christmas, he has been one of us!”








This was a story homily for the 4th Sunday of Advent - Year A - for our Little Kids Mass this morning at 8 AM and our Teen Mass this evening at 6. The only connection of this imaginary story to the readings for today are looking for signs, dreams, Son of Joseph, Son of David, and Emmanuel, God is with us.