THERE! HE SAID IT!

[I preached on today’s gospel, the Jesus and Peter, “I love you!” scene in the last chapter of John dozens of times – so last night I decided to write a story. Here it is: a reflection on John 21: 15-19 – for this 7th Friday after Easter. It’s entitled, “There! He Said It!”]

His dad, a guy named John, never said to his son, Pete, not even once during his 18 years of growing up – the 3 simple words: “I love you!”

Well, words like apples, don’t fall too far from the family tree. John’s father before that, had never ever said it to him– so John wasn’t aware that this is something fathers say to their sons. Oh he and his father before him said, “I love you!” to their wives on a regular basis – but an “I love you!” to a son – no, that wasn’t part of the story. It was understood and unexpressed. With regards even saying it to your wife, as Archie Bunker was to put it years later on TV, “Of course I love you Edith. I’m your husband!”

At 18 Pete went off to the Navy. It was during the Vietnam War – and he ended up working on a supply ship all through the war – and then some.

John, his dad, never said to Pete “I love you!” when he was going off to basic training – as well as after finishing that – before heading out to sea.

Now Pete didn’t make waves because of this. He knew his father loved him – working hard to make life good for his mom and his two younger sisters. This “I love you” thing wasn’t a big thing in the 60’s in some families.

However, like some simmering resentments, it slowly arrived after one leaves home. It began sinking in and then bubbling up while aboard ship. A buddy would read a letter – and some letters were from dads – and they would end with an “I love you!”

Slowly it became an itch which Pete would scratch from time to time – especially when he felt alone – becoming a cut on his soul – and memory – and Pete would not let it become a hard scar yet.

From a distance he saw his dad’s faults and failings – his dad’s quietness and escape into Western paperback books. His dad, John, wasn’t a drinker or anything like that. He just was sort of a hider – a bit of an introvert. Now, he never sat down and put his philosophy or attitude on paper. For Jack, “Action speaks louder than words.” Jack saw himself as a good provider – a Sunday church goer – someone who made sure his kids had shoes and supper.

Pete found himself resenting that simple fact: my dad never ever said one “I love you” to me as I was growing up.

His dad did 85 out of 100 things right as a dad, but that little quirk was a blank piece of sandpaper with no words on it.

His dad didn’t write letters. That was what moms did – as his father saw it.

After the war and after getting out of the Navy, Pete settled down on the other coast, got married and had 3 kids. Even at his wedding – even when Pete and his wife Teresa came east – with the 3 kids – John never said an, “I love you!”

By now Pete wasn’t going to tell his dad that this irked him – because if he said it now – it would be because he told him. Love has to be unasked for, unconditional, and unexpected, as far as Pete saw it.

It was the “I love you” Catch 22.

Life went on – time went on – his dad had a stroke – and ended up speechless – but at home thank God.

His sister, Penny, called her brother Pete and said, “Dad doesn’t look too good. You ought to come home east when you get a chance – before it’s too late.”

On the plane east – the passenger next to him in seat 15B was reading the New Testament. Pete had finished reading the Airline Magazine 2 times, so he glanced down to see exactly just what this other person was reading. He went to church most Sundays – but never really got into big time religion. Surprise! He saw his name on the page. The word, “Peter” flew off the page. Then he saw the words, “I love you!” Pete began crying – not uncontrollable tears – but he started crying.

When he got home – there was dad, John, excited to see his only son. Mom and his two sisters, told John, that Peter was coming.

With his one hand, the one he could write with a tiny bit, he handed Peter a piece of paper – with words on it – sort of like a little kid’s writing with a crayon. This had words written with a Sharpie Pen. It simple said 3 times, “I love you. I love you. I love you! Thanks for coming. Thanks for coming. Thanks for coming.”

It was the first time in his life he was handed a new testament, a gospel, Good News, from his dad – and it was unasked for and unexpected.

There! He said it!