August 9, 2022

Reflection

FRAGILITY

The little guy was only 16 ounces - born August 8, 2006 - died August 8, 2006

The hospital called - a nurse named Marie - in NICU - told me this little baby wasn't going to make it. The parents would like a priest to hurry over to the hospital and baptize this baby.

I got there around 7:15 PM.

I baptized him - Brandon Robert Fox.

Then they photographed him.   They took lots of photos - to help the parents remember him - his birth - his existence - his reality.

Then they unplugged him. Four people confirmed that he died at 7:36 PM - around that time.

Then they wrapped him in a blue blanket. Five of us went to his parent's room.

They held him. They hugged him. They felt him.

More photos were taken - of a child - who lived only  a few moments of life.

Rock and roses ....

Fragility and permanence ....

When I stood there at the hospital - stood there in the presence of this premature baby - I watched the nurses unhook this baby from the life support tubes and machines. They kept it on till I got there.  I watched a nurse take a stethoscope and put it on the baby's chest - which was just a tiny bit bigger than the listening part of the stethoscope.  

Then I turned.

A doll was behind me. A big beautiful doll. Then it moved. It was another baby - alive and kicking - in this same room for some reason.

Life and death ....

When I got the call from the hospital I was just finishing up the papers for a couple wanting to get married - both 57 years of age.

At 4:10 AM - I got a call to get back to the hospital - a woman 55 years of age had just died.

Fragility.

August 9, 2022

Thought for Today 

"Nel mezzo dell cammin di nostra vita"

"Midway along the path of life."

Dante, Opening line

of Dante's Divina Commedia, 'Inferno'

 August 8, 2022

Reflection

THEME

Do you have  a theme?

Does everyone have a central issue they are off on?

Someone was describing Father Ted the other day - and they were saying something like, "He always stressed forgiveness - in his sermons - in the words of the Mass - in his off to the side remarks - in off to the side situations."

Being self-centered I wondered  if I'm easy to figure out. I also wondered if a person could't know themselves - only others.

Yesterday I had ___ in for spiritual direction and it seems that forgiveness is central to her - touching her eye ducts - touching her relationships.

So forgiveness is a central theme in some people's lives  - according to others.

So the question: do I have a central theme?

My book, Prayers in the Night, has lots of prayers in it that seem to be too gnarly and a bit too itchy.  I got that thought as I looked at my book of night prayers the other day.

And someone reviewing my book, Cries But Silent .... said my short pieces in there were too dark or problematic or something like that. I never did save that review - and there weren't too many. 

Peter Kreeft seemed to see life as a battle - and I've noticed that feeling in some conservatives.

So once more the question: Are we all off on some issue - some more than others?

I guess  Groeschel's off-handed remark should be talked about. "Tell me your favorite scripture text and I'll tell you who you are?"

On a weekend retreat right after I heard that, a guy was being abrasive, so I asked him his favorite Bible text. His quick answer: "Beware of wolves in sheep clothing."

So do I have a favorite theme?

I don't know. 

I guess they'll tell mine - what I was off on - if and when they talk about me in the funeral parlor.

 August 8, 2022

Thought for Today

"I remember my youth and the feeling that will never come back any more - the feeling that I could last for ever, outlast the sea, the earth, and all men; the deceitful feeling that lures us on to joys, to perils, to love, to vain effort - to death, the triumphant conviction of strength, the heat of life in a handful of dust, the glow in the heart that with every year grows dim, grows cold, grows small, and expires - and expires too soon, too soon - before life itself."

Joseph Conrad, Youth (1902)

 August 7, 2022

Reflection

WHAT WAS YOUR FATHER LIKE?

What  was your father like?

I was wondering if I should ask every couple I interview about marriage that question.

Does it follow that will bring that reality into their wonderings about their upcoming marriage: imitation of or reaction against?

Is their a neutral ground?

Are questions like: Oldest? Youngest? Middle? good questions to ask as well?

Or what about where their father was in his family line?

Is the oldest child more apt to become a leader, a pusher, a corrector, a boss, that is,  if there are a couple of brothers / or sisters after him?

What is a male like who is the oldest in his family and his dad was also the oldest in his family?

What if the girl is the oldest, etc.?        

Once questions for clarifications are asked, does sit then make the question irrevelent?

Or is better to simply ask a couple,, "What was your dad like? What was your mother like?

I'm the youngest son of a youngest son.

My mom was the oldest in her family. Is that why I'm asking these questions?

I've never been a boss - nor did I ever want to be one. I rather swim along unnoticed - or swim away and enjoy finding shells on a far shore - yet I don't  like to travel alone.

So the question: What was your father like" is a good ice breaker.

Questions with multiple possibilities for varying answers are called for.

Yes?

No?

Undecided?

It all depends.

August 7, 2022

Thought for Today

"If grass can grow through cement, love and find you at every time in your life."

Cher

American singer and actresss

 

 August 6, 2022

Reflection

CONTROL

She said she was getting better with trying to control things - people - everything and everyone.

Change came with having a baby. "I gave up when I realized he is not an adult. He's going to eat  the way he's going to eat. Sometime it's food. Sometimes food becomes a toy to play with. Sometimes food is face cream, shampoo or stuff to throw."

I asked her what it was like to be married and why she married him. I quoted an old quote I once read and that I had mentioned to my niece Margie. "A man marries a woman; a woman marries a project."

Then I added, "When I told that to my niece, she kicked me."

Then realizing what she did, she said, "Sorry!"

I pondered the whole theme or issue of control: Traffic control. God control. Other control. Weather control. Air conditioner control. Babies in church control. Who has the clicker at TV control. Times people show u for meals. When the phone rings control.

I thought about the prayer, "Thy will be done."

I thought about Self Take Personality Tests - and how they show how different people can be.

She brought up the "power" word.

We talked about power and control.

We talked about bending - letting things go - letting things slide - letting go - having a relaxed grip.

How do teachers do it?

How do nurses do it?

How do attendants on airplanes do it?

How do parents do it?

How does God do it? God remains quiet. God learned how to let go a long time ago.

Me? Someday.  We'll see.