July 25, 2022
Thought for Today
"A suicide kills two people, Maggie, that's what it's for!"
Arthur Miller,
After the Fall
(1964) Act 2
Monday, July 25, 2022
Sunday, July 24, 2022
July 24, 2022
Reflection
SELF-DESTRUCTION
There is the obvious: death.
But that's down the line. Hopefully....
Like most people I'd like to get my three sides and ten - like the obituaries reports - and then some more I hope.
I'm now 82 ....
Then there is the self-destructive stuff....
Not enough sleep
Not enough exercise.
Poor eating and drinking habits.
Life can have the drag of days at times - because I stayed up too late watching an old movie or Forensic Files on TV.
And the day still has work to do - calls to make - people to see - mail to answer.
Tomorrow....
Can I will myself another five years - especially quality years?
But what about my tendency to self-destruct - not with booze - not with food - but with sloppiness. procrastination, and the urge not to sleep?
Maybe those who say sleep is a slow death are right. Sleep is a letting go - not knowing what one's dreams are - not knowing if I will wake - not knowing what's happening elsewhere.
Maybe those who say we do destructive things because for some strange reason we think they will bring more life - or we think the message is: they can bring us beyond the border of where we are now.
Maybe life is many maybe's - many mysteries - many letting go's.
Maybe it's the Abraham-Isaac scene over and over again and again. Maybe I have to climb the mountain - bind myself - be willing to accept death - only to have God set me free - for another day - for a fuller life.
I don't know.
Saturday, July 23, 2022
July 23, 2022
Reflection
JAMMED CAMERA
I grabbed my camera - digital.
I started taking some pictures of some men - painting way up near the roof of the Carrol House - next door to us at St. Mary's Annapolis.
It was to be unique picturing of people working.
I took about 23 pictures - but I wasn't counting.
Enough already.
I think I took 10 more pictures.
In the meanwhile, the men came down and went inside the house.
In the meanwhile people came along and wanted their picture taken. They posed, so I took their pictures.
Flowers wanted their pictures taken. They posed. I took their pictures.
Sailboats in Spa Creek wanted their picture taken. They too posed. I took their pictures.
Finally, after taking at least 100 shots, I was shot.
So I stopped.
I sat there and looked at my 127 pictures - on the tiny peek in screen.
I liked about 7 pictures.
I rather have my old camera - with film - and the wait - and the going to the drug store to see my pictures - 5 days later.
I realized in this transaction waiting is better - as well as the old.
Friday, July 22, 2022
July 22, 2022
Reflection
LIFETIME MANTRAS
Do people have lifetime mantras?
I was driving with 3 people going to a funeral. One of the 3 said 300 times in a 3 hour trip, "You have no idea."
Was that her lifetime mantra in a lifetime sentence?
Was she always saying to herself: "My husband has not idea how hard I work all day"?
Did she say as a teenager - after getting a B on a paper she had to write in her junior year of high school, "Teacher you have no idea - how much work I put into this paper. So and So got an A and did so little work on her paper."
"It's not fair." Is that another life mantra - people going through life saying that?
I hear others saying, "I was just wondering." Then they say what they are wondering about.
Or, "Can I ask you a question?"
Or, "How am I doing?"
Or, "Are we there yet?"
Or, "This is crazy."
Or, "I'm out of here."
Or, "Isn't this wonderful?"
"When are they going to get it?"
"Unbelievable."
"Do you hear me?"
"I'm amazed."
"Can you do me a favor?"
"What's happening?'
"I don't get it."
"Listen."
"Thank you."
"I'm sorry."
"We gotta ...."
"I'm tired."
"I'm dead."
I have no idea if people have lifetime mantras - lifetime repeats - lifetime little sayings that they say over and over again. I don't know - but it's something that I think about over and over again.
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