February 1, 2022

 

 

SELF-PORTRAIT

 

 

Don’t we all wonder at times what they think of us?

 

I know – knowing one person loves me – does an awful lot for less worry about how I am – how I come across.

 

Yet, I can be talking with 15 people at a party and one person says in a fiftienth  of a second, “You look like Spencer Tracy.  Did anyone ever tell you that?”

 

“No,” I answered.

 

Then I jokingly add, “Doctor Kevorkian yes. And the coroner of Honesdale, PA. Yes.  Spencer Tracy. No.”

 

And I meet 15 more people – and 15 days after that – and 15 more life experiences after that – and that one comment sticks about Spencer Tracy.

 

Spencer Tracy? No I don’t look like him.

 

Why?  Why does that comment stick to the inside of my eye lids and I keep looking at it?

 

I know from experience that people always go ga ga over self-tests – that help us know something about ourselves.

 

Why?

 

Is it that I’m always wondering how I’m coming across.

 

Then I read a quote by Groucho Marx, “She’s afraid that if she leaves, she’’ become the life of the party.”

 

Then I remember that’s so like the saying of Oscar Wilde I’ve used in a dozen talks, “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others cause happiness whenever they go.”

 

Uh oh!

 

I guess I’m still not sure of myself.

 

Who cares?

 

I do.

 

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2022