I  HATE  YOU! 

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 11^th Monday in Ordinary Time is, “I Hate You.”

Have we ever heard someone say those three words in our lifetime?

Have we ever said them?

Has anyone ever said those three words at us?

CHILDREN AND ADULTS

We might have heard a little kid screaming those words at a parent. They want ice cream or candy or to stay up late and they are not getting their way - and so they scream, “I hate you.”

And once a kid learns those words - especially the hate word - they might then say it at another kid in the family or some kid in a game.

It’s a different  sentence - when adults scream out those three words.

Teen agers - in the midst of a fight with parents - for example when it comes to whom they are dating or hanging with - or when privileges are taken away - those 3 words have more power than that of a tiny kid - but when adults say those 3 words - then we’re in serious territory.

If they come  home - back home - and they hear “I love you!” - that’s a thunder storm moment - and “I love you” after a horrible “I hate you”  experience - is so much more powerful than before.

 TODAY’S GOSPEL

We’re moving along each day now in the Sermon on the Mount - for our weekday Mass gospel text.

Today Jesus uses the word, “hate” when he says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’”

The verb used for hate is miseo!

Bruce Malina and Richard Rohrbaugh - in their book, Social-Science Commentary on the Synoptic Gospels - tell us that when the people of the Mediterranean world used the words “love” and “hate” it was a bit different than the way we would use those two words today.

We would think of these two words more in psychological terms, especially in one to one terms. In Jesus’  world, we’d be thinking more in group terms - and especially “attachment” - “group attachment” - terms.  So if I love someone -  I’m attached to this other person’s family - and family is one’s big circles.  If I hate someone I want to be separate from another or from the group or family they belong to.

So the elder  brother of the Prodigal Son - doesn’t want to go into the house - into the celebration for the returned son and brother - into the whole family who is celebrating his return.

ONE TO ONE ADULT HATRED OF ANOTHER

Jesus sees all this. When he heals someone - he  tells them to go home to their family to celebrate the recovery and the healing - of being part of the family once again.

So the stress in Jesus’ time is community, the group, attachment to the group -  more than just one to one.

The stress for today, hopefully would have that - seeing hatred in how Jesus saw hatred - how it destroys community. We need to learn how to forgive one’s brother or sister from the heart - seeing family all together again - as it was in the past.

But we have learned that hatred - hurts the hater - besides hurting the person who hears, “I hate you.”  We need to see how hatred boomerangs back to the thrower - the screamer.

So in one-to-one hatred screams - we need to realize both the other and ourselves - are in on the impact. Sometimes we forget  how hatred or anger or what have you grips and grabs us as well.

I noticed this quote last night. It’s from Jose Marti [1853-1895] who said in his, Manifesto of Montechristi [1895]  “Only  those who hate the Negro see hatred in the Negro.”

It’s called projection and transference in psychology.

Once we realize these kinds of things we can grow.

Jonathan Swift [1667-1745]  said, “We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.” [Cf: "Thoughts on Various Subjects"; from Miscellanies [1711]

CONCLUSION

So that’s why we come to Mass - come to church, mosque, synagogue and temple - we come for more religion. We come to move for more love and the lessening of hatred.