November 2, 2015

ALL SOULS DAY

I'll  be taking my last breath some day ….

I'm picturing my eyes closed ….
I’m picturing myself dead ….
In a bed? In a nursing home? I hope it
will be on the street - like St. John 
Neumann - while doing someone a favor....

Is that the last picture I take?

Or is there another next? A beyond -
beyond all this - beyond my powers  - to rise 
again - out of the ground - a new birth?

I see all these dead November leaves.
I imagine next Spring - new leaves budding -
after a long cold winter - new life showing.

So here we have THE elephant in the room sized question: Is there something that 

happens to me after I die? A now what? 

A next?

I’m not talking about the next being someone calling the undertaker or the church. I’m not talking about my funeral 
or who will visit me and stand above 
my grave. I'm talking here about me.

I'm asking:  is there a beyond all this?

I'm asking: is there SOMEONE in control here?

I'm asking: take my index finger and see
what I scratch in my dust or in my blood.  

When it comes to a next, do I answer with
a "Yes" or a "No" or a "Help!" or a nothing? 

For those of us who believe in a God - a God we've been conscious, semi-conscious or very conscious of throughout our life - or in Jesus if we are a Christian - then is the after death posture a total letting go? Is it a waiting to see
if someone will start me up again in a new mode - a new control - a new way of being -
that is totally out of my control? 

As I stand here  - I hear the Risen Lord Jesus
say, "I am the way, the truth, and the life."

This is my hope as I stand here on the cold ground - with all these dead leaves surrounding
me - here at my sister's grave on All Souls Day?

                                                                    © Andy Costello, Reflections 2015