WHO  ARE  YOU?

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for today, January 2^nd,  is, “Who Are You?”

That’s a question that shows up in the Bible at various times.

It shows up in today’s gospel – and that’s where I got the thought for this homily.

It’s a question that shows up in life at various times.

Who are you?

START WITH SELF: JOT IT DOWN IN A NOTE BOOK

We ask this in our brain about others lots and lots of times – but as I’ve thought about this question – I realized that the first place is to start is with oneself.  Who am I?

It’s a brand new year, what would it be like to make that a 2015 question?

Suggestion.  Buy at any supermarket store – or The Dollar Store or Office Depot – one of these spiral note books – 9 ½ by 6 inches.  I have about 50 of these in my room – and when I die – I’m sure they will be tossed. [SHOW ORANGE PAD]

No problem – but while I live – they are very important to me.  I have tons of interesting notes and this and that’s in these 50 or more note books.

I have about 75 of these bigger spiral note books. They have their use. [SHOW GREEN SPIRAL NOTE BOOK.]

I also have about 50 or more of these little memo pads – 5 by 3 inches. [SHOW LITTLE RED PAD.]

I don’t like to sit on the pot without something to read – and so I often grab one of my note or memo pads.

So you know what these look like. Suggestion: buy a bunch of these spiral pads this size. This is the size I prefer. [SHOW THE ORANGE ONE].

In one of these 9 ½ by 6 inch jobs – jot down on page 1 – on the top of the page – in title size: “Who Am I?”

Then this year, 2015, write down in the mid-sized baby – answers to that question: Who Am I?

Even if you use a computer, I’m suggesting writing – writing – writing. “Write it down!”

WHAT I LEARNED FROM A LISTENING EXERCISE

I once had a job of trying to get people – namely Redemptorist priests and brothers – to talk to each other – to listen to each other – to get to know each other better.

Sorry to say it really didn't work - but like being a teacher, the presenter or teacher learns the most.

Looking back I think that was the best job I ever had – because I learned a lot about others – but mainly myself.

One learning happened as follows.  It was called, "The Listening Exercise." We would ask a group of 20 or so to break up into smaller groups of about 5 in a group. The person with the earliest birthday in the year – or last – it didn’t matter really - went first.

Once more the leader of the whole group ofr 20 or so would say to the whole group, “This is a listening exercise. 

"The person who starts says to the person to their right one answer to the following question: ‘I think people have difficulty in listening because….’

"Then the person to the right listens to what the first speaker says. 

"Then they say what their heard the first person say to them. 

"The first person who spoke then says to the person on their right. 'Good. Thank you. You got what I said.'

Or they say, "No, that's not what I said." 

Then they try it again.

I remember once it took a lady about 10 times to get it right. After she finally got it right, she gave an afterthought. "I guess my husband is right. He says, 'I never listen.'"

Then that person gives to the person on their right, one reason why they think people don't listen...."

It was a wonderful exercise. I learned that one big problem was this: the speaker who gave their comments why they thought people didn't listen well - was because the speaker wasn't too clear in the first place. I saw that when they had to repeat what they said at first. It would change. It would get clearer. It would get more complicated.  

I also learned to say to people ever since, “What do you think I was asking you in the first place?”

If they didn’t get it, in my opinion, then I would repeat what I said in the first place.

Sometimes the listener would say: “That’s not what you said in the first place.”

Sometimes I humbled myself and said, “Oh, sorry, you’re right.”

My biggest learning from that exercise was this: “Often the problem is not with the listener, but with the speaker.”

So I  learned that some speakers are very clear; some are very unclear, convoluted. They really don’t know how to communicate what they are trying to communicate.

I also learned that the first question should be to self – rather than to others. “What is it that I want to say?”

I before you....

So based on that – I’m stressing in this reflection – talk – sermon – whatever this is – the first question before, “Who Are You?” should be, “Who Am I?”

Based on that I realized that's why I love the shortest poem ever written. It’s an existentialist poem. I mention this all the time. It goes like this and you can memorize it and it rhymes.

I

Why?

And why I wrote the second shortest poem ever written:

You

Who?

And it also rhymes.

BACK TO THE NOTE BOOK

So after writing on the top of page 1 of your 9 ½ by 6 inch note pad, white on the top line: “I / Why?”

And start writing.

I am here because of my mom and dad. Thank you mom and dad. I am the youngest of 4 kids – and back then my parents got married later than most. Thank you Mom and Dad for having 4 kids.

Then you can write autobiography – personal experiences of neighborhoods, towns, cities, schools, friends, jobs, joys, sorrows, babies, deaths, loves, and what have you.

You can write about wipe outs – that wiped you out – wipe outs you’d love to wipe out – and learning you can’t, so then you can write down what you learned from that reality.

You can write about best books, favorite songs, movies that moved you.

You can write about surprises that surprised you in life.

You can write about the unexpected – personal earthquakes and tsunami’s as well as lotteries that you didn’t know existed.

I've wondered if women answered these questions different than men do.

Here is a short film about women. What would a short film of men be like?

I read once about the value of writing down 10 answers to the question: I am a _____.

And one writes down 10 answers to that question: I am a male, an American, a friend, a priest, a poet, a Brooklynite, a Catholic, a Christian, a diabetic, a walker, etc. etc. etc.

Then I read somewhere that if you extend that to 25 I am's – you will come up with answers that might surprise and change your life.

Perhaps the best answer is:  “I am me.”

Now who is that “Me”?

CONCLUSION

That’s your homework, and heart work, for 2015.

I know: New Year's Resolutions never work - never go past January 10th. I know that about myself and others - but sometimes one resolution works.

So if you try this - and persevere at this, then at some point you  can start to listen to others and say to them, “Hey, who are you?”