FORGIVENESS AND
UNDERSTANDING
INTRODUCTION
The title of my homily for this 11 Sunday in Ordinary Time, C, is, “Forgiveness and Understanding.”
That’s an obvious theme that today’s readings challenge us to think and reflect on.
“Forgiveness and Understanding.”
When I die, will they say at the edge of my casket, “He was an understanding person. He was a forgiving person.”?
I hope so. Does everyone hope so?
NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE
When I think about forgiveness, I think the greatest influence on me has been Nathaniel Hawthorne.
His book - which was also a movie, The Scarlet Letter - makes real for me the story in the gospel of John of The Woman Caught in Adultery. Jesus gets all those men to drop their rocks and move on when he says, “Let the person here without sin cast the first stone.” [Cf. John 8: 1-11]
That story has saved a lot of people a lot of times. Drop the rocks - those made of looks and gossip and behind the back or hand talk.
Psychology may of come of age in the 20th century - but Shakespeare and novelists - along with our scriptures - dealt with the evil and sin within the human mind and heart long before then.
Herman Melville’s book Moby Dick was not just about whale catching.
Life is not just about Ravens or the Redskins, Coors or Bud Light, Ruby Tuesdays or TGIF’s, 6 figures or 5 figures, Fox or NBC, weekdays or weekends, Mini Coopers or Fords, college tuition or lacrosse - or what have you?
UNDERSTANDING
I think life is about understanding life.
I think we spend a lot of our life trying to understand our life - what makes my kids tick and what makes my spouse tick and what makes my boss tick and what makes the pastor or the politician tick. We seem to be always analyzing. We are trying to understand a whole series of people - on depending whether I’m caught in traffic - at a meeting - at Mass - or at a moment when someone says to me, “Happy Father’s Day”.
A lady told me yesterday that she gave her dad a Mother’s Day card once - as well as a Father’s Day card the next month - because he was both.
On Wednesday afternoon - around 3 PM - this past week I was with Deacon Leroy Moore as we stood at the bed of a dad dying. He was surrounded by his kids - and their spouses. It brought me back to the bed of my father in Maimomedes Hospital in Brooklyn a week after Father’s Day - 1970. We were all there with our mom when he died. And I assume these kids will be doing what I’ve been doing the past 40 years - growing in an understanding of a wonderful dad - having done a lot of talking and reminiscing about him with my two sisters as well as my brother when he was alive. At 4 PM - an hour later I was at the same identical scene - another dad - another family of kids and their spouses around the death bed of their dad.
Go figure.
I think we spend most of our mind time - trying to figure out people.
I think we need to be urged to spend more time - trying to figure out ourselves - how we are - how we treat one another.
Understanding - to stand under - to step back - to watch - to learn.
One of life’s questions is: What do we learn from the most? Good or evil? Does a bad mistake we learn from become a good mistake?
I remember 7 retreats I was part of - one every July in Olivet College, Michigan - AA retreats. I got a phone call asking if I would help. They asked me thinking I was someone else - a priest who was an alcoholic. As a little kid I noticed the anxiety and the anguish about an uncle who was a heavy drinker. Then and there I decided never to drink and I haven't. Yet my schedule was open and I said "Yes!" If there is any great classroom to get an education in understanding, it’s an AA meeting - and especially and AA retreat.
Well this one priest - who will remain anonymous of course - who while giving his life AA talk - his "drunkalog" - as some call it - moved me really deeply for life. He told all of us that he did some really damaging things to himself - and others. I remember sitting there and saying to myself, “If I ever really mess myself up, this would be the first person I would call upon for help.”
Translation: he would understand.
He had been there. Done that. Learned from that.
How many parents have we heard say the same thing? "I understand my kids. Been there. Done that."
But don't tell them that - till the right time.
But don't tell them that - till the right time.
How many parents have asked themselves when their kids are messing up: "Do I speak up, do I intervene, do I let them learn the hard way, fall on their face?"
Understanding.
Is the great teacher of understanding: mistakes, sin, evil, stupidity?
TODAY’S READINGS
Today’s first reading from 2 Samuel tells some of the story of David - who really messed up - especially when he stole another man's wife - and then when he got her pregnant, he had Uriah killed. And the scriptures tell the story about how Nathan the prophet challenged him on this - and how David finally understood there are consequences to our behavior - to our sins. He finally understood. How well, I don’t know. [Cf. 2 Samuel 12: 1-25; Psalm 51.]
I often wonder if David was a slow learner - because his son Solomon when asked by God - with the famous question: "One wish. I give you one wish."
Well Solomon said, “Okay, I want an understanding heart.” [Cf. 1 Kings 3: 5-9.]
How many sons have become an understanding father - because their father was not understanding?
How many sons have become an understanding father - because they made some dumb moves in growing up.
Today’s second reading from Galatians says we can’t manipulate justification by our behavior - or keeping the rules - but by a person. In our case, it’s Jesus Christ. [Cf. Galatians 2: 16-, 19-21.]
And in today’s gospel - Luke 7:36- 8:3 - we have one of the great gospel stories about forgiveness. There are many. Forgiveness is a central theme of Jesus. Jesus forces the Pharisee to at least hear that the one who is forgiven the most, learns the most about forgiveness. Or at least they can - because we know about the man who was forgiven a big debt - and went out and wouldn’t forgive someone who owed him hardly anything. [Cf. Matthew 18: 21-35.]
The Pharisee had the chance to hear that he didn’t wash Jesus’ feet when Jesus came off the dusty roads to his house - but this woman - whom he labeled a sinner - washed Jesus feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. She then kissed his feet and anointed them with ointment.
CONCLUSION
Life: Go, learn, and practice these gifts.
Then when we're in our casket - listen to all those who are saying, "There is one thing I noticed. He - or she - really had the gifts of forgiveness and understanding."
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