LOVE AND LIKE

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this Eight Friday in Ordinary Time is, “Love and Like.”

I put a “Quote for the Day” on my blog. I have a bunch of quote books and grab one and look for a quote that grabs me.

The one I found and put on my blog for today is: “We like someone BECAUSE. We love someone ALTHOUGH.”

Once more: “We like someone BECAUSE. We love someone ALTHOUGH.”

Then sometimes I ask some questions. For today's quote I asked: Is that your experience? Then I asked 2 further questions that I would be interested in hearing answers for: “Name 5 people you love and then list 3 things they do that bug you about them? Name 5 people you like and then list 3 things they do that bug you?”

It hit me: Would it be harder to name faults and annoyances in those we like compared to those we love?

Looking around the room, it looks like all of us have had a lot of experience. Some people are easy to like; some people are difficult to take.

My niece Monica once told me. She’s over 50 now. “There’s one in every office.”  I asked her, “What do you mean by one?” “You know,” she said, “someone who is a royal pain you know where.”

Is that true? Does every office, every parish, every neighborhood, every group, have one person whom we just don’t like?

I’m a member of a religious community in the Catholic Church: the Redemptorists. I’ve been stationed in New York City, New Jersey, Washington D.C., Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, upstate New York, Ohio, and now Annapolis. Looking back I’ve said to several people, I’ve always been blessed to have at least one guy in each place where I have been stationed who was a great guy - in other words, someone I liked. Thinking about my quote for today: is the reverse true? To be honest, I’ve never sat down and thought about answers to that question.

There have been difficult people - some strange rangers - that I have lived with. There have been more than one in a few places. One of my books is entitled, How To Deal With Difficult People.I've jokingly told guys I lived with, “Thanks for the help in writing that book!”

SOME OBSERVATIONS

For starters there are two types of people: those who are easy to like and those who are difficult to like.

I like the saying, “There are two kinds of people: those who cause happiness when they enter a room and those who cause happiness whenever they leave a room.”

As priest I’ve been to more different nursing homes than most priests in the United States. Having lived on the road for 8 ½ years and given lots of parish missions -  part of our parish mission was to visit nursing homes in the afternoons. From that experience I realized there are two kinds of people in nursing homes - or anywhere - those who are an easy visit - and those who are a difficult visit. By difficult I don’t mean dementia or aging. I mean they have a difficult personality, attitude, or overall ambiance.

I saw that as a little boy on our street in Brooklyn. There were two kinds of older people: those who when your spaldeen (pink rubber ball) went into their front yard, they were happy to get it for you and say something like, “Hope you’re having a great game!” and those who are grouches and make it difficult in retrieving your spaldeen.

Then and there without knowing it,  I made my first conscious life decision. It was not to be a grouch when I get old.

Today’s first reading has this sentence. We’ve heard it a hundred times. It’s why I am preaching on this theme of Love and Like. The sentence is this: “Above all, let your love for one another be intense,
because love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8.)

It doesn’t say: "Above all, let your liking of another be  intense, because liking covers a multitude of sins."

Liking is easy. Love can be difficult. Forgiveness can be difficult.

That’s what our faith teaches and preaches.

So getting back to my earlier question and wondering: I would think it would be easier to find things that bug us and things we don’t like in those we love - more than in those we like.

Next, I would think - but I’m not sure - but I would think - it would be more difficult to pick 3 things we don’t like - 3 things that bug us - about those we like - compared to those we love.

CONCLUSION

Today’s gospel - Mark 11: 11-26 - talks about a fig tree. We see variations of this story in Matthew, Mark and Luke.

Israel was compared to a fig tree - and the preachers and the prophets would use the image in sermons - challenging the folks to produce good fruit in their lives.

I found in The Parables of Jesus, a book by Joachim Jeremias, a piece on gardening that I never noticed before. [Cf. pages 119-120.] He says that in Israel the fig tree is unique compared to other trees and bushes and plants. At times in the year, a fig tree really looks dead. Then comes a time you can look into its very thin branches - which are translucent - and see the sap rising. What looks dead - is about to come back to life.

We’re getting older - maybe we look dead to some folks who are young - but don’t count us out. We can always start producing fruit. Grouches can change and surprise everyone. I’ve see that happen to at least 3 priests. Maybe they changed because they started to love more than to just like or dislike others - and love covers a multitude of sins.


Amen.