FAMILY

June  2,  2012  Quote for Today

"No son is as good as his father 
in his sister's eyes. 
No father is as good as his son 
in his mother's eyes."

Irish Saying

LOVE AND LIKE

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this Eight Friday in Ordinary Time is, “Love and Like.”

I put a “Quote for the Day” on my blog. I have a bunch of quote books and grab one and look for a quote that grabs me.

The one I found and put on my blog for today is: “We like someone BECAUSE. We love someone ALTHOUGH.”

Once more: “We like someone BECAUSE. We love someone ALTHOUGH.”

Then sometimes I ask some questions. For today's quote I asked: Is that your experience? Then I asked 2 further questions that I would be interested in hearing answers for: “Name 5 people you love and then list 3 things they do that bug you about them? Name 5 people you like and then list 3 things they do that bug you?”

It hit me: Would it be harder to name faults and annoyances in those we like compared to those we love?

Looking around the room, it looks like all of us have had a lot of experience. Some people are easy to like; some people are difficult to take.

My niece Monica once told me. She’s over 50 now. “There’s one in every office.”  I asked her, “What do you mean by one?” “You know,” she said, “someone who is a royal pain you know where.”

Is that true? Does every office, every parish, every neighborhood, every group, have one person whom we just don’t like?

I’m a member of a religious community in the Catholic Church: the Redemptorists. I’ve been stationed in New York City, New Jersey, Washington D.C., Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, upstate New York, Ohio, and now Annapolis. Looking back I’ve said to several people, I’ve always been blessed to have at least one guy in each place where I have been stationed who was a great guy - in other words, someone I liked. Thinking about my quote for today: is the reverse true? To be honest, I’ve never sat down and thought about answers to that question.

There have been difficult people - some strange rangers - that I have lived with. There have been more than one in a few places. One of my books is entitled, How To Deal With Difficult People.I've jokingly told guys I lived with, “Thanks for the help in writing that book!”

SOME OBSERVATIONS

For starters there are two types of people: those who are easy to like and those who are difficult to like.

I like the saying, “There are two kinds of people: those who cause happiness when they enter a room and those who cause happiness whenever they leave a room.”

As priest I’ve been to more different nursing homes than most priests in the United States. Having lived on the road for 8 ½ years and given lots of parish missions -  part of our parish mission was to visit nursing homes in the afternoons. From that experience I realized there are two kinds of people in nursing homes - or anywhere - those who are an easy visit - and those who are a difficult visit. By difficult I don’t mean dementia or aging. I mean they have a difficult personality, attitude, or overall ambiance.

I saw that as a little boy on our street in Brooklyn. There were two kinds of older people: those who when your spaldeen (pink rubber ball) went into their front yard, they were happy to get it for you and say something like, “Hope you’re having a great game!” and those who are grouches and make it difficult in retrieving your spaldeen.

Then and there without knowing it,  I made my first conscious life decision. It was not to be a grouch when I get old.

Today’s first reading has this sentence. We’ve heard it a hundred times. It’s why I am preaching on this theme of Love and Like. The sentence is this: “Above all, let your love for one another be intense,
because love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8.)

It doesn’t say: "Above all, let your liking of another be  intense, because liking covers a multitude of sins."

Liking is easy. Love can be difficult. Forgiveness can be difficult.

That’s what our faith teaches and preaches.

So getting back to my earlier question and wondering: I would think it would be easier to find things that bug us and things we don’t like in those we love - more than in those we like.

Next, I would think - but I’m not sure - but I would think - it would be more difficult to pick 3 things we don’t like - 3 things that bug us - about those we like - compared to those we love.

CONCLUSION

Today’s gospel - Mark 11: 11-26 - talks about a fig tree. We see variations of this story in Matthew, Mark and Luke.

Israel was compared to a fig tree - and the preachers and the prophets would use the image in sermons - challenging the folks to produce good fruit in their lives.

I found in The Parables of Jesus, a book by Joachim Jeremias, a piece on gardening that I never noticed before. [Cf. pages 119-120.] He says that in Israel the fig tree is unique compared to other trees and bushes and plants. At times in the year, a fig tree really looks dead. Then comes a time you can look into its very thin branches - which are translucent - and see the sap rising. What looks dead - is about to come back to life.

We’re getting older - maybe we look dead to some folks who are young - but don’t count us out. We can always start producing fruit. Grouches can change and surprise everyone. I’ve see that happen to at least 3 priests. Maybe they changed because they started to love more than to just like or dislike others - and love covers a multitude of sins.


Amen. 

LIKE  AND  LOVE

June  1,  2012   Quote for Today

"We like someone BECAUSE.
We  love someone ALTHOUGH."

Anonymous.

Questions: Do you agree with the truism above?  Name 5 people you love and then name 3 of their faults or things that they do that bug you?  Next name 5 people you like and then name 3 of their faults or things that bug you about them?  Which was easier to do?

VISITATION

THE  VISIT

I was in the hospital and you showed up with a funny helium balloon and your love. Thank you.

I was down - really down - because I had done something really dumb - and you’re the only one in the family who was willing to be seen with me. Thank you.

I was in jail and I heard you defended me by mentioning the old Indian saying, “Don’t judge anyone till you have walked a mile in their moccasins.” Thank you.

I was in the nursing home and you came with haste to visit me - wrinkled incontinent me - and you stayed with me for 47 minutes. Thank you.

I was standing there 5 yards from the casket. We had been married 37 years and cancer visited us and you came in haste at the end of a  busy day to stand on line and then to be with us in the funeral parlor. You didn’t have to say a word. Thank you.

I was by myself - just standing there at the gathering feeling like a stranger in a strange land -  with a strange accent - and you saw me, came over and said, “Hello!” Thank you.

I was me - labeled "homosexual" or what have you - and the church and some others were ranting at us  -  wanting to throw rough rocky words at us and you didn’t. You understood. Thank you.

I was overweight and you didn’t give me “the look” or hand me "the diet". You simply were there with me. Thank you.

I was fired from the company - dropped - whatever word they used - and you called me two weeks later to hear if I and the family were okay - and “What’s happening?” and whether I got another job or job offer. Thank you.

I was at the coffee break and people were arguing politics, politics, politics and I was sick and tired of politics, politics, politics - and you came over and showed me pictures of your grand kids - and we had a great conversation about the college one was going to, the job another just got, and another was about to come home from Afghanistan. Thank you. Thank you. Thank You, Lord.

I was the reader at church and read the wrong reading and 13 people gave me the “Stupid!” look - but you said nothing - better you smoothly changed your sermon and referred gracefully to what I had read. Thank you.

I was pregnant - nervous because maybe I was too old for this - but you came in haste to visit me and I could hear my baby jumping for joy within me - and because you too were pregnant and I could hear myself chanting, “My soul sings out the greatness of the Lord; my spirit finds joy in God my savior. Amen. Thank you.”

OOOOOOOO

Painting on top, "Visitation"  - found on line by typing into Google, "Paintings - Visitation".


This is a reflection I wrote this morning for today's feast of the Visitation - May 31, 2012..

©  Andy Costello, Reflections, 2012

STUCK  

IN  SOME  OTHER  DAY

May  31,  2012  Quote for Today

"Don't make the mistake 
of letting yesterday
use up too much of today."

Anonymous

GRAPE  

May 30,  2012  Quote for the Day

"The sun, 
with all those planets
revolving around it 
and dependent on it,
can still ripen 
a bunch of grapes 
as if it had nothing else
in the universe to do."

Galileo Galilei

BE  HOLY

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 8th Tuesday in Ordinary Time  is, “Be Holy!”

The last six words from today’s first reading are: “Be holy because I am holy” [1 Peter 1:16].

Be Holy!

Now that’s a lifetime challenge - a lifetime puzzle - a lifetime question - a lifetime wondering.  

Be Holy!

What does that mean?

KAIROS RETREATS

I’ve been on 18 or 19 St. Mary’s High School Kairos’ retreats. One of the talks and small group discussions is on “Holiness”.

A high school senior has to prepare a talk on holiness. The notes on the talk call for the kid to list people he or she thinks are holy. Then in small groups the kids are all asked to name peers and adults they think are holy. It’s a challenge.  As I listen to each speaker and each group tackle this question - which is also a talk in the Cursillo Retreat from which Kairos has been adapted for college and high school kids - it gets me thinking. What is holiness?

What I hear from the kids is that a holy person is someone who tries to be a good person - someone who is generous - someone who goes to church - someone who prays - someone who is not messing around - someone who tries to do their best - someone who serves and volunteers - someone who is a straight arrow.


If you were asked to describe what it means to be holy - what would your description sound like? Whom do you consider a holy person?

JEWISH  SCRIPTURES

In the Jewish scriptures the word for holy is “Qados” or “Qiddes” or “Qds” - or variations from the root of that word. It  means “separate” - “different” -“apart from the ordinary”.

God in the Jewish scriptures is seen as HOLY - separate - unapproachable. God is up there - out there - unreachable - inaccessible - in the Holy of Holies above the heavens - and in the unallowed part of the temple.

People who have God experiences -  experiences of the HOLY - are depicted as being in the presence of  silence, awe, light, majesty, mystery - holy smoke - and that person feels their difference and distance from God.

People who have God experiences - experience their sinfulness in contrast.

CHRISTIAN SCRIPTURES

In the Christian Scriptures one hears this same take.

However, they also get glimpses of another take - in experiencing Jesus Christ. God - the all Holy One - the inaccessible - the highest - has become the lowest. Jesus comes as a baby - one of us - and even lower - Jesus becomes our servant - our foot washer - our healer - our brother. We can touch the hem of his robe. Yet we killed him as a horrible blasphemer - and a radical. They threw dice for his robe. This table turner in temples was nailed him to a cross and died almost all alone - with people cursing at him from below. Then this Christ is lifted in exaltation by the Father. He is Risen - and appeared amongst us in several ways. Then he ascended into eternity - the Eternal Banquet - Paradise. The great text in the New Testament for all this is Philippians 2: 5b-11.

So there they are the two takes on holiness: distance - the heights - inaccessibility; then the other side of the spectrum:  closeness - accessibility and the bottom.

The Pharisees tried to be holy by using externals. They tried to distance themselves from the rest of folks. They tried to make themselves higher - more correct - more right - and the rest of are wrong. They used their knowledge and the Law - to try to make themselves look like the best and most colorful fish in the fish tank and they wanted everyone else - the rest of humanity - to be seen as bottom feeders.

MAJOR TOPIC AND ISSUE

So when it comes to religion, we can see these two polar opposites in play at times.

Religious titles, robes, tassels, seating, ceremonies - are used as opportunities to stand out and stand above others.  

If Jesus said anything,  it’s that holiness is getting down to the bottom of life and to each other. It’s to go within oneself. It’s to find God in inside places. That meeting - those ongoing inner sessions - with God - can be inner prayer.

The Holy of Holies is within each person’s inner room - inner temple.

So stop judging. Stop thinking we know what’s going on in other people’s inner rooms. So stop babbling or adding on public prayers to look good in public.

Be quiet and swim around the bottom of the fish tank. Catch who’s hiding down there.

Humility is putting down the stones we throw at others - so as to feel and think ourselves more holy than them. Better! It’s getting in touch with the jagged rocks of sin within ourselves.

Surprise! It’s right here we can find communion and connection with God.

The pride and self pushing stuff separates us from God and each other.

Jesus ate with sinners and dined with them - was in communion with them - and this upset those who thought the opposite.

CONCLUSION

These are just a few takes on holiness.

As I said in the beginning of this homily, what holiness is, is a lifetime quest and wondering. This is inner seesaw stuff.

Let me close with one last take on holiness. Last night it hit me that laughter has to be a part of holiness. However, I have to do some more thinking about that.

If I hear one sound from God, it’s laughter.  If I hear one sound from Jesus, it’s laughter. Today’s gospel ends with one more joke about holiness from Jesus, “The first will be last and many who were last will be first.” [Cf. Mark 10:31.]

I look forward to heaven. My imaginary glimpse of heaven contains at times the sounds, “Holy, Holy, Holy.” Yet at other times I also hear, “Ha, ha, ha, ha.” To some holy rollers, this might be the last thing in the world [ooops heaven] they would imagine. I’m assuming they are wrong - of course. And of course, I’m right.  But I know and I assume I will be wrong.  Holiness is of God - because as that first reading ended, “Be holy because I am holy.”

P.S.  I finished the first draft of this homily last night. Then I walked down to CVS to buy fish oil capsules. I saw that they were on sale just yesterday - Memorial Day - in a 2 for the price of 1 sale. I was wearing an 20 year old faded blue T-Shirt - which I was wearing  - plus my old comfortable dungaree shorts - and a pair of white sneakers. I didn’t notice till I got back that I had on two different color socks. After leaving CVS,  I’m coming along the bottom of  Main Street. to get back here.  I spot outside O’Brien’s - 6 seminarians or young priests - dressed in cassocks and serious white collars. They are standing there talking with the outside patrons. It was at least 90 degrees. I should have asked who they were - but didn’t. As I walking up Green Street I found myself laughing - laughing - laughing. I was seeing my sermon in another form. Be holy!
 

OOOOOOO

 
Task: Chapter V of the Vatican Council's Dogmatic Constitution on the Church, Lumen Gentium, is entitled, "The Call of the Whole Church to Holiness." Read that chapter and pull out the key ways it describes what holiness is.
 
Task: Last Advent, 2011, the Roman Catholic Church came out with a new English translation of the Roman Missal. Its language is different - not down to earth - compared to the text it replaced. Check it out and see if those who got this translation into our hands - are the type who see holiness as putting a distance between the laity and God. [That's my take - but you figure out your take.]