October 17, 2022
Thought To Consider
"To believe, and to be loved while unworthy, is the great secret."
W. P. Newell
Monday, October 17, 2022
October 16, 2022
Reflection
STOPPING FOR ICE CREAM
Last night I drove back home to Annapolis from New Jersey.
I went up for a funeral of a little baby girl: Elizabeth Mary.
Then I decided to see if Al and Sylvia were home. I had seen them near Elizabeth Mary's family at the funeral.
Heading down 301 I could see all the red lights ahead of me - before I'd get to the Bay Bridge.
I come into a traffic jam,
I haven't been in one like this in years.
I smile - because most of the time I've been on the other side - going in a different direction.
We all stop.
It's 10:15 P.M.
I turn my motor off - with tractor trailer and trucks and cars - all doing the same thing.
Standing there on the highway - we all started talking to each other. Truckers said it was a major, major accident way up ahead of us.
It's 11: 40 and trucks and cars start their engines and start to crawl forward.
As I got closer to the bridge there were still some police cars with lights flashing.
I had seen a few ambulances and tow trucks pulling cars on the opposite side.
Finally, we saw about 10 wrecked cars - and many police cars on the shoulders - with their lights on.
I'm sure we all prayed for those who were hurt here tonight.
I got home by 1 A.M. and was in bed by 2 A.M.
For some reason - looking back - I still see all kinds of us - having stopped for ice cream - at a D.Q. - licking ice cream - holding shakes - talking - talking - talking - thanking our lucky stars - for getting stuck at that spot - so close to ice cream - so close to a D.Q. that stayed open that night for the rest of us.
I had stopped for a D. Q. and a bathroom break - about a half hour before we hit that traffic jam.
Would I have been in that accident - if I hadn't stopped for that first ice cream - and bathroom break?
I did say a prayer when I started back home that night. Was it that - that saved me - or the ice cream?
I'll go with the ice cream.
Always get ice cream - when you're heading home - in the night.
Saturday, October 15, 2022
October 15, 2022
Reflection
HAPPINESS
I'm still thinking of the psychologist - Doctor Robert Holden - who was on Oprah last week. He has a book out on happiness. He also got his Ph.D. studying happiness.
I was on the treadmill exercising while watching Oprah. I was happy to do that - two birds with one stone.
That program was well orchestrated. Different people were given a test about How Happy Are You?
There were 5 questions - or statements. People were asked to score themselves 1 to 7 - [7 being the highest].
Here are the 5 questions or statements.
1) In most ways my life is close to ideal. [ ]
2) The conditions of my life are excellent. [ ]
3) I am satisfied with my life. [ ]
4) So far, I have gotten the most important things I want in life. [ ]
5) If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing. [ ]
From: Ed Diener, University of Illinois
He then had 5 of them standing in front of the TV audience - and Oprah and others were asked to pick who they thought scored best in the test and who didn't.
The lady whom Oprah scored second lowest - 5 out of 35 - something like that I think.
The questions cand be found on her web site.
This lady - a mother of six - said she was a people pleaser. She said she was well loved - but did nothing for herself. All she did was for others.
The lady who scored lowest - indicated she made many - several wrong life decisions - but now she's finally coming out of that way of doing life.
There was one man in the five who were on stage. He was an undertaker. He saw his life as someone who helps folks deal with death. He was the one who said that he saw the key to life was to be more significant than to be successful.
What would it look like to be a significant undertaker, or priest or doctor or mom or dad or friend.
As i pondered that I remembered Martin Luther King's comment: if you're a garbageman, be the best garbageman people ever met.
Words ....
I thought that I have to think about all this.
I have to get back to a book I've been writing all these years: The Eight Secret of Happiness.
I also thought about the dialogue that took place between Oprah and the people being interviewed.
They talked about joy and happiness. They talked about giving and receiving. They talked about self-pity and pity parties.
The program brought up and brought into the conversation thoughts about self-esteem, self-evaluation, self-understanding, self-acceptance, self-care and self-happiness.
How happy are you?
Friday, October 14, 2022
October 14, 2022
Reflection
SIGNIFICANT OR SUCCESSFUL
On Oprah today, there was a guy named Holden on her program. He is a psychologist who has a book out on happiness. He said what an undertaker had just said: "It's more important to be significant that to be successful." [August 23, 2007]
Significant or successful?
Success: there is a need to reflect upon that.
For example: to raise a successful family? To have a successful job? To have a successful season?
I suppose the key is to do one's best - to serve and to love - and if one has a kid who chooses otherwise and messes up - one still one's best.
As to baseball and football only one team wins the World Series - or the Superbowl - so how does a team measure a successful season? To have broken even or made money? To provide good games - and great plays on the field. To have had fun and enjoyed their jobs?
Success? Define it? Describe it?
Significant seems the more successful word - when it comes to comparing words.
But what is significant?
It seems significant is more significant than successful.
To be able to sign one's name to one's painting or work.
To have made a difference.
To be a sign to others.
I'm not trying to be smart - but the sign of the cross is the sign of a failure - or is it the sign of resurrection and the secret of life?
To die for others.
To be a sign for others.
To lay down one's life for others - for a right cause.
Is that the ultimate success and the more ultimate significance?
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