Reflections By The Bay

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

April 25, 2017

ST. MARK'S VENICE

Monday, April 24, 2017

HOW MANY TIMES

HAVE YOU BEEN REBORN?

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “How Many Times Have You Been Reborn?”

That’s a question that hit me when I read today’s gospel from John 3:1-8.

We’ve all heard the word, “reborn” or “born again” and when it shows up in Christian conversations, it’s from the gospel of John.

Nicodemus is told by Jesus that he has to be born again from above - otherwise he cannot see the Kingdom of God.

NEW YORK TIMES

Most mornings I usually glance through the New York Times which we get - to see what’s happening around the world.

This morning I noticed on page 3 for today, Monday, April 24, 2017, the following:

“To Stay Married, Embrace Change

In her Modern Love column, Ada Calhoun urges readers not to get caught up in the ‘end of history’ illusion - the belief that a spouse’s personality and habits solidify at the moment of marriage. Partners are people, and people change, she argues, a perspective that the married members of the audiences applauded.

I then tracked down the column from last Friday, April 21^st, where that comment was made. It was very interesting, scary, challenging, and thought provoking. And not only was there an article to read, but there were 281 comments as well.”

People who were married 50, 47, 37, 6, 16 years wrote in their comments.

People who were divorced wrote in comments.

Putting both together, I ask the question I started with, “How Many Times Have You Been Reborn.”

I was ordained a priest with 15 other guys. 9 left the priesthood. 2 came back - one to the Redemptorists and one became a diocesan priest.

I know of one who was married and divorced and remarried.

I don’t know if they would use the language of being reborn or what have you.

THE GOAL OF A HOMILY

I see a homily - especially on a weekday - having one key thought - or one key question.

I don’t see any of us able to answer the question, if a question is presented, during the Mass or at the moment. However, I would think that it’s a good homily if something hits a person there and then and they continue processing what hit them well after the Mass is over.

For example, I preached 3 times yesterday - on the question of forgiveness - especially a person dealing with life mistakes - or sins - or hurts - in the upper room of one’s mind - more than in the confession box in a church.

After the 5:30 a man - never noticed him before - came up to me in the crowd of people leaving Mass - and said to me something like, “You said something that I have been wrestling with all my life - and I never thought about it - the way you talked about it this evening.”

Then someone else jumped in - and then another - and then another - and then we went out to dinner at Macaroni Grill - and at 10:30 last night - while watching a baseball game - I was sitting there - thinking about what that man - whoever he was - what he said. And I thought and prayed - I hope I see him again. I hope he was challenged and is processing what hit him or what have you.

Did what I said, help him?

Will it lead to a life change?

I don’t know.

MY LIFE

But each of us can go inside our upper room - out mind. That’s the metaphor and the reality in yesterday’s gospel. We can walk around inside our head and look at our life.

Change. Rebirth. A new me….

We can divorce other people. Can we divorce ourselves?

Am I the same me that I was at 7 years old?

Do we ever harden like cement?

Do we change?

Do people change dramatically or do people change slowly - like the paint on the walls of our homes?

Who judges?

A family member - who hadn’t seen me in a long time once said, “You’ve changed!”

There were dozens of meetings at that occasion - a wedding, a funeral, or a family get together, I’m not sure what the occasion was, but that was the only conversation or comment from that day that I remembered.

Dumb me - didn’t ask - and I still haven’t asked what this family member meant.

As priest she had a chance to see me up front - on stage - so I wondered if that triggered her comment.

I don’t know.

I assume that we are the best person to make the judgment - but with help from others.

I also assume that geographical changes can bring about changes in us.

What else?

How about deaths, divorces, loss of jobs, retirements….

I remember hearing in a talk about the essential self, the nuclear self, the central self, that changes less than other self-stuff.

I am still wondering about that.

I know that I know more now that I knew 10, 20, 30 years ago.

I know that I don’t want to become cold and crusty - and be a selfie - that can be selfish and self-centered.

I know, I want to be better not worse.

I know, I need to read, study, be self-reflective.

I know, I have to shut up, take long walks, drive with the car radio off - and dig into stuff I need to dig into more.

CONCLUSION

The title of my homily was, “How Many Times Have I Been Reborn?”

For some reason I have always liked the number 5 - I have 5 fingers and 5 ties - so that’s a manageable number. So I’m going to work on coming up with 5 rebirths.

Your turn - your take - on this topic and theme and question.

April 24, 2017

GOD, HELP ME

WITH THIS ONE

God, help me with this one.

Are the people who write

about this right - that prayer

can change people’s minds?

A little old lady is sitting there

in her afgan covered chair

and she’s praying that her

children’s children get their

kids baptized - like right now.

Is she hoping You send a

whisper suggestion to them:

“Hey parent, don’t you realize

that people need faith - and -

a reliance of Me when it comes

to dealing with the big stuff:

death, a shaky marriage,

their kids on drugs, or a

dozen other big things?”

If someone prays for courage

today - when facing a classroom

filled with kids who are being

bullied by a handful of kids in

their class and they are not

getting any help from downstairs -

will praying give them some courage?

What about free will? What about

serendipity? What about time?

Does time force everyone to their

knees or to their worry beads?

Painting on top: Old Woman Praying.
Paintings below have artists name or title of the painting underneath the painting.

Old Woman at Prayer, Nogari Giuseppe, 1763

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Old Woman with a Rosary, Paul Cezanne

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Old Woman Praying, Matthias Stom

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Old Woman Praying with a Prayer Book
by Hans Barttenbach, 1908

Sunday, April 23, 2017

HAVING THE POWER

TO FORGIVE SINS

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Having the Power to Forgive Sins.”

That’s an awesome power - the ability, the gift of being able and to choose to forgive sins.

I’m going to say in this homily that it’s not just priests who have this power.

We just heard some powerful words from Jesus in the gospel of John.

The disciples were behind closed doors, locked doors, enclosed in fear.

It was evening. It was still the first day of the week - the night Jesus rose from the dead. Jesus came through walls - into a locked room - and said, “Peace be with you.”

Jesus showed them his hands where the nails were. He showed them his side where he was pierced by the spear.

"Ouch!"

He again said, “Peace be with you!”

Then he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.” [John 20:23]

Those are profound words. Hear them loud and clear. That’s a powerful message. Let’s make them our own.

DOUBTING THOMAS SUNDAY

Thomas was not there for that moment. This Sunday was called Doubting Thomas Sunday for centuries. It’s now called Divine Mercy Sunday. Good, but don’t get caught up with these repeated prayers people say over and over and over again - and miss the powerful message of forgiveness and mercy - underneath those prayers. [Cf. Matthew 6: 5-9]

Also because Thomas is the Patron Saint of Doubters - realize when it comes to forgiveness and mercy - we all have at times deep down doubts about forgiveness and mercy.

Lord, have mercy on us - all of us.

CONFESSION - THE SACRAMENT OF RECONCILIATION

Sometimes people only look at today’s gospel text about holding onto and letting go of sin - as a reference to the Sacrament of Confession or Reconciliation.

Yet - let me begin with Confession and the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

In 1965 our class of 16 - were ordained priests.

But we were not allowed to hear confessions till another year. We were ordained priests early - so as to say Masses on weekends in many small parishes in Ulster County, New York - near our seminary - near Kingston, New York.

We still had to finish another year of Moral Theology - before we could hear confessions. All this was part of the four years of theology - we had after finishing college.

I remember the first weekend I heard confessions. We had practiced a lot - but we were still nervous. The key was to be compassionate and understanding and everything is kept secret under the seal of confession.

It’s now 51 years later and I must say I have heard lots and lots of confessions and have forgotten every one of them.

I also remember for some reason something that happened at times when I used to go back and forth from LaGuardia Airport in New York to Milwaukee. I would travel in my black priest suit and collar - something I don’t always do. Usually - at least one person seeing a priest in an airport - would come over and ask for confession.

So I guess, when nervous - it was either a drink or confession. So I’ve heard confessions in churches, airports, hospitals, supermarkets and various other places.

By accident - in the 1990’s - I was asked to help every summer on AA retreats for men at Olivet College in Olivet, Michigan. Someone thought I was someone else - a priest who was a recovering alcoholic - so that’s why I received the invitation.

On that first retreat for about 250 men, I was told I didn’t have to give any talks. However, when I got there, I was asked to give one of the talks to the group - because one of the Protestant ministers couldn’t make it.

If you are familiar with AA meetings the person who stands up to speak says, “Hi. My name is________. I am an alcoholic.” Well, because I never drank, I said, “Hi, my name is Andrew and I’m not an alcoholic.”

Well, that woke people up for starters.

Then I said up front “the only drink - besides altar wine - which I don’t like - I only take a slight sip - was a drop of Four Roses in a milk shake once - when I was a kid and I was home alone.”

I told the group that I put into this homemade milk shake - milk, ice cream, sprinkles, Jell-O, ginger ale, a drop of Four Roses and two drops of Vanilla extract.

At that this whole crowd of men started to chant - a certain word - louder and louder - and over and over again. I will only give two letters from that word - “BS”.

That’s the only time that ever happened to me - in giving a talk or what have you.

I’m surprised that it didn’t happen at various other times as well.

Does anyone want to start that today?

I mention that experience because a major reason they had 2 or 3 priests, 2 or 3 ministers and a rabbi at that retreat - was because they needed enough people to help with the 5^th step in the 12 steps of the AA program.

The 4^th step states that everyone who wants to move forward makes an honest and soul searching inventory of their whole life. They write it down and then in the 5th step they can choose to voice that story to another person.

The men would sign up for a half-hour time slot and drop in to see one of the ministers or priests or rabbis. Of course they could go to a sponsor or a therapist etc. etc. etc. for their 5^th Step.

We would start listening around 9 PM - a half hour per guy - and go till 2 or 3 AM. Let me tell you - those moments were exhausting - draining - and 100 times more specific - and what have you - than someone going to the Sacrament of Reconciliation or Confession.

The idea is forgiveness - the idea is honesty - the idea is getting stuff off one’s chest. The idea is to avoid BS to oneself - obviously.

In AA one hears over and over again, “We are as sick as our secrets.”

NOW THE BIG JUMP IN THIS HOMILY

Those words from Jesus about “Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained” can be applied not just to priests and ministers and rabbis - but to everyone.

Everyone has the power to listen, to understand, to keep secrets - to let sins, mistakes, hurts, be outed from their life - and in doing this, the possibility of forgiveness can happen that much more gracefully.

It's not good to go it alone. [Cf. Genesis 2:18]

I was taught in Moral Theology - for the Sacrament of Confession - which was renamed the Sacrament of Reconciliation - that the Letter of James meant what it says, when we read, “Confess your sins to one another.” [James 5:16.]

Every priest has heard 100 persons in their life say, “Why do I have to tell my sins to a priest. I go directly to God.”

Every priest is tempted to say in response, “In other words, you’re saying, you find it difficult to talk about your life and your mistakes to yourself. Welcome to the club?”

If invited, I might say, “It would be great if people went to God with their life and their sins and their blessings. It would also be helpful to go to a priest with gut sin patterns - not the petty stuff some folks think at times is deadly or mortal - stuff they bring to confession over and over again - and then sometimes say, ‘I don’t know what to confess.’" *

Then I would add the pitch I’m making in this homily about talking with each other about our relationships - where we are - where we need to grow - what we love about each other and what is driving us bonkers at times.

In other words: it’s great you go to God - but how about to one another?

In other words, if I hurt my spouse or my kids or say something bad about a co-worker - I should ask that person for forgiveness.

The Sacrament of Confession for some - stress on “for some” - can be very helpful for big sins - adultery - big time stealing - and renouncing one’s faith.

Warning: it is very helpful to tell the other face to face - but sometimes this is not the right move - because of a variety of possible reactions - and plenty of "uh oh!" can be the result.

The whole family situation could fall apart if someone tells their spouse they cheated on them. Cheating on one’s spouse is very messy business. Recovery when the other finds out - can call for massive amounts of trust rebuilding up again.

Sometimes the lesser of two pains is going it alone.

Sorry.

But I was taught early on - here is where the Sacrament of Reconciliation can help big time.

It's a grace to talk it out to another.

But let’s go a step further and deeper - and concentrate mainly on the person who is into a sin.

Each of us has the power to hold onto mistakes against ourselves - or others - as well as being hurt by another.

We all have our story - and we pay the price - if we go it alone without God, others and self in the right way.

It’s right there that I would want to especially understand the words of Jesus in today’s gospel.

I want to see Jesus going through the locked doors of my skull - see the whole story of my life - inside that locked room - filled with my secrets.

I want to hear Jesus saying to me, “Peace be with you.”

I want to hear Jesus breathing on me and saying, “Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive they are forgiven and those ones you’re holding on to - they are going to destroy you - if you won’t let go of them.”

I want to say, “If we take paper and pen - and looked at the whole story of our life - we could write down mistakes, as well as being hurt by parents, or family members, or teachers, or other kids, or relationships that went sour - and they are wearing us down - for life.

Memories can itch.

Itching and irritating our memory on and off - all through our lives - things we can’t forgive can be very painful.

And sometimes people become miserable with their hurts - to get back at those who hurt them - trying to make them feel guilty for making this person a PITA.

TODAY - CONCLUSION

Today, this Sunday, let Jesus’ Divine Mercy heal you. Forgive those who hurt you or vice versa.

Today, this Sunday, you’ll have doubts that forgiveness is possible.

Remember! If we have a memory, we’ll be remembering out past. The opposite is dementia.

So put your hands into Jesus cuts, into his mouth, hear him say from the cross - about those who have hurt us, “Father forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing.” [Luke 23:34]

And hear Jesus say about the mistakes, sins, dumb things we’ve done in this life, “You can let go of those mistakes and use that holding onto mistakes energy - for doing better for and with each other. Amen.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Notes:

[There are two types of Confession - Confession of Devotion and Necessary Confession. This second type has to do with serious damaging self stuff - that we need to do some life revision about - with God's help - as well as therapy at times.

For example, a person with a serious addiction to pornography - can go to confession and ask Christ for help in the sacrament of reconciliation - and receive absolution. However, they might also need counseling help for an addiction.

I have also heard theologians say that we need to have a World Wide Catholic Church Synod on the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I would recommend reading Chapter IX "Reconciliation" - Pages 275 - 324 - of Joseph Martos's book, Doors to the Sacred, A Historical Introduction to Sacraments in the Catholic Church, 2001 edition. If really interested there are plenty of footnotes at the end of that chapter.]

April 23, 2017

Doubting Thomas - by Caravaggio

DOUBTS

I doubt.

Therefore I am.

I better have doubts.

Is this water okay?

How old is this mayonnaise?

Does this medicine have side effects?

Who is this person hanging around

my daughter? What does he want?

Is this the best price?

Is there life on the other side of this?

I’m certain.

Therefore I am.

I have certainties.

This car is safe.

This horse can really run.

Home insurance is smart.

My wife loves me.

I trust this doctor.

The sun will come up tomorrow.

I believe. Therefore I have some certainty.

I am.

Therefore I think.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

CLAPPING IN CHURCH

I discovered after writing the previous blog piece about clapping that some people have problems with clapping in church.

I had never heard of this before.

I was looking for a YouTube something on clapping in church - and surprise - there were YouTube pieces showing various folks criticizing people who suggest giving thanks to someone who made a contribution to the parish or what have you.

I was surprised.

However, I didn't "Boo!" at them.

Tempted, but no. I don't want to go there.

But I wondered, "Where have they been?"

I've seen all kinds of clapping situations at Mass and at church.

Haven't they been to a wedding where folks clapped for the newly married?

Haven't they heard someone who just gave a great eulogy for a mom or a dad and there was a spontaneous applause?

I dare an anti-clapper to go, "Shush!" when that happens.

I've been here at St. Mary's and I've seen folks clap at a great sermon - and I've seen people becoming very quiet at a great sermon. I've seen Masses when the pastor or bishop congratulates the newly confirmed or newly coming into the Catholic Church and folks clapped for them.

So I would have problems with anyone who is against clapping. If they personally don't want to clap, don't clap.

Haven't they seen a tiny little kid under a year old clapping - and everyone loves the scene?

I remember seeing a documentary on dance and Agnes de Mille said that Blacks saw some Irish tap dancers who were not moving their arms - and they thought to themselves, "Hello! Start snapping those fingers, start moving those arms and start dancing - and add some clapping in the mix.

Okay soccer players can't use their hands, but the goalie and American football players can use their hands.

"Hello" folks who are against clapping in church. Take a good look around.

Let me find a few of these YouTube videos that feature "againsters" and "forers" when it comes to clapping.

I noticed one uses Pope Benedict as a source for no clapping and then I spotted a video of people clapping for him.

Smile. Loosen up everyone.