GOOD  EXAMPLE, BAD  EXAMPLE, 

WHICH HAS THE GREATER IMPACT?

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 32 Monday in Ordinary Time is, “Good Example, Bad Example, Which Has The Greater Impact?”

TODAY’S READINGS

Today’s readings challenge us to give good example to each other.

Today’s first reading talks about good qualities for a bishop as well as bad characteristics to avoid. [Cf. Letter of Saint Paul to Titus 1:1-9.]

I’ve never received a form in the mail to fill out about someone being considered for becoming a bishop. For someone for a job or to be fit to adopt a child, yes. Bishop no.

Paul tells Titus what to look for in presbyters for every town - that they be blameless, married only once, and with believing children who have a good track record. For bishops they too should be blameless, not arrogant, not irritable, not a drunkard, not aggressive, not greedy for sordid gain, but hospitable, a lover of goodness, temperate, just, holy and self-controlled, holding fast to the true message as taught so that he will be able to exhort with sound doctrine and to refute opponents.”

Today’s gospel has a very scary comment - that it would be better for someone to have a millstone put around their neck and thrown into the sea than to cause a little one to sin. I was in Israel once and saw a few millstones leaning against buildings.  I got the message. [Cf. Luke 17: 1-6.]

That’s one bible text that everyone should hear - especially popes and bishops and priests. I’ve heard it these past 30 years many, many times in looking at the sexual abuse problems in the Catholic Church.

Unfortunately, I sense that lawsuits - and money - had the bigger impact - than the warning words of Jesus - but especially the care of children.

EXAMPLE

The title of my homily is, “Good Example, Bad Example, Which Has The Greater Impact?”

If you were sent a survey, how would you answer that question. If the survey said: “Give examples.” What would you give as your answer?

Whenever I see a baby with a great smile, I always give credit for starters to the baby’s parents. Smiles beget smiles. Smiles carve smiles in another’s face.

Should I also add, scowls?  However, I prefer to think good example has the greater impact.

Which has the greatest impact from the pulpit? Negative or positive comments?

I remember hearing a talk by Ralph Greenson, a psychoanalyst. He said, “If someone says, 'Jack Jones is a great guy,' nobody hardly notices that, but if they  say, ' Jack Jones is a son of a ____' everyone joins in to prove it.”

Someone said, “A good example  is worth a thousand sermons.”

Every preacher has heard at least a thousand times the silent scream from the church benches, “Practice what you preach!”

CONCLUSION

We are living proofs of the power of example.

We do a lot of what we do - because of what we saw - and what was done to us.

And we are repeat performances of our parents and their parents and their parents.

A closing for example, example, about the past showing up in our present.

A marine sergeant sweetly addressed his marines at the end of an exhaustive period of drill, “When I was a little child, I had a set of wooden soldiers.  There was a poor boy in our neighborhood. Well, after I had  been to church and heard a great sermon about being generous, I was soft enough to give my wooden soldiers to him. Then I wanted them back and I cried. My mother said, ‘Don’t cry Johnny; some day you’ll get your wooded soldiers back.’  And believe me, you lop-sided, mutton-headed, wooden- brained set of certified rolling pins, that day has come.”

November 7, 2016

HURT

What hurts?

Your face - your front page -

has the headline, "I'm hurting! I'm in pain….”

What hurts?

A wrong word - arthritis - an empty chair -

an empty bed - a disappointment - a gone?

What heals?

A listening - time - another - Oh my God! - 

a willingness to - to try - to heal - to be again….

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2016

3  MAJOR  QUESTIONS

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 32 Sunday in Ordinary Time [C]  is, “Three Major Questions.”

I don’t know about you, but I’m going to enjoy this homily.

Why not?

“Three Major Questions?”

QUESTION ADDRESSED TO ALL OF US?

What are our 3 major questions? 

Questions we’re asking all the time?

Or big questions that scare us or intrigue us or pop up from time to time - big time - at different times - like before operations - or at funerals - or when we’re all alone at the beach or in an airplane - 30,000 feet in the sky?

The Rabbi was asked, “You’re always asking questions. Why?”

And the Rabbi answered, “Why not?”

Who invented the question mark?

It’s a great sculpture.

It has that hook in it - that fish hook shape in it - that’s meant to catch the other.

Will you marry me?

Can we talk?

Why did you do that?

A LADY ASKED ME YESTERDAY

A lady asked me on Friday, “What’s the difference between a sermon and a homily?”

I said, “Good question.”

That gets the person who is asked a question, a little bit of time to think.

Or people respond by saying, “Now that’s a very good question.”

Public people are asked questions all the time - so too parents by little kids.

And sometimes they answer the question. Sometimes they give answers that satisfy the questioner. Sometimes they avoid the question completely.

I often think a person who is asked a question should say at times - like the Rabbi,  “Why are you asking that question?”  Or “What are you wondering about?” Or, ‘Where’s that coming from?”

Or to do - what I heard Nelson Rockefeller do - in a Power Breakfast on Drug Abuse in New York City, years and years ago, for some 5000 people. - In the Q and A period, someone asked Nelson Rockefeller, the governor of New York State, at the time, a question.  And he answered, “Are you crazy? I wouldn’t answer that. Next question?”

Ever since I heard that, I’ve used that trick or comment with some twists and turns in Q. and A. - question and answer periods ever since. I’ve said things like, “I don’t care to answer that right now,” Or, “That could be a tricky question. It could cause uproar.” Or “I haven’t thought about that enough yet. Next question.” Or, “I’m wondering if you’re really asking that question.”  Or sometimes - with nervousness I might ask back, “Are you asking what you’re asking or are you asking something else?”

So the lady yesterday asked me the difference between a sermon and a homily.

I said, “Sometimes they mean the same thing. They are interchangeable. Or a sermon can be a religious talk in church - but a homily is more about the scripture readings for the day - at Mass - or what have you.”

TODAY’S READINGS

So this is a homily because today’s readings triggered this question about questions.  

Today’s first reading brings up two major questions.

First question: Is there anything we would die for?

These 7 brothers with their mother were arrested and tortured with whips and scourges by the king, to force them to eat pork in violation of God’s law.

I don’t know about you, but I think I’d eat the ham sandwich or pulled pork at Adam’s Ribs.

But if someone told me to beat someone’s mother on her sons, I would say, “No!”  even if it meant death. At least I hope I would.

If someone grabbed the Christ in the Eucharist from the tabernacle or the altar and with gun in hand asked me to jump on Christ, I hope I would say, “No! I’ll die for that.” 

Easier said than done.

And part of my answer is connected to the second question in today’s first reading, “Do I believe in the resurrection of the dead.”

That makes a difference in the question: what am I willing to die for?

I believe that there is more than this - but is that the reason I would die for Christ’s sale - because I know there is life after this life?

If I was a secret service agent, would I take a bullet for the president or a visiting prime minister or the pope, if that was my assignment?

TODAY’S GOSPEL

Today’s gospel has this funny story - about the woman  who  buried 7 brothers. It was a story that made the rounds in Jesus’ time as a way of making fun of those who believed in resurrection from the dead.

I’ve done lots of second and some third marriages of those who have lost their spouses - and at most of these weddings - there are fun comments about the spouse who had died - at the time of the new marriage.

There was thunder and lightning on the day my sister-in-law’s married Ron - both of whose spouses had died of cancer.

3 MAJOR QUESTIONS        

The title of my homily is, “Three Major Questions.”

I would think this question about resurrection from the dead is one of everyone’s three major questions.

Maybe yes? Maybe no?

What would be the other two - or three - if that’s not one of your three major questions?

This coming week - talk to each other  - after Tuesday - okay - make that Wednesday - what are your three major questions.

When we were studying existential philosophy in our first year after college - in the major seminary - I remember Father Joseph Colleran - who spent his last years in Annapolis - putting up on the black board two words - as he said, “This is the world’s shortest poem. It sums up existential philosophy in 2 words and 2 lines, and they rhyme.”

He wrote on the board: 

                         “I 

                          Why?”

For some reason I have never forgotten that and I have used that in sermons and talks and some homilies  ever since.

It’s the 6^th question of the old Baltimore Catechism: “Why did God make you?” “A. God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him for ever in heaven.”

I think it’s one of three major questions everyone asks themselves all the time.  “I / Why?”

And my third question is also two words and they also rhyme and I want to claim fame for writing  this other 2 word,  2 line poem, the second shortest poem ever written: 

                    “You 

                      Who?”

It’s the question parents ask of their teenage kids - in loud - and out loud. It’s the question spouses ask of spouses - most of the time silently. It’s the question I’ve been asking and talking to my sister Mary, we’re the last two left, about our dad - and also our mom. Both are well dead - and a lot of their inner stuff is buried with them.  Both were quite quiet.

That  wondering about them - to me - is one more proof of resurrection.

I remember Father Bernard Bassett, a Jesuit saying on the Johnny Carson show one night  - something like this - in answer to a question about what’s he going to do when he gets to heaven. He said, “I’m going right by Jesus Christ and heading for my parents. I have questions. Lots of questions. I have the rest of eternity to be with God.

CONCLUSION

The title of my homily is, “Three Major Questions.”

That’s your homework - and if you’re alive - please do Q and A with each other. 

November 6, 2016

WASHED  POTATO 

While washing potatoes in clear

sink water, something happened.

She had never really looked at a

potato like this in her entire life.

Why brown? Why this look? Why

potatoes? Why me? Why you?

Why our color? When and why do

we ever really look at each other?

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2016

November 5, 2016

A  LOT  OF  STUFF 

While waiting for my dog to do

his doing - next to an old bathtub -

I stood there leash in hand  - at

the edge of an empty lot with a lot

of stuff  dumped into me. It was the

eyesore  of our street.  Broken toys

and broken boom boxes - an old

abandoned - no seats left - Volkswagen

Bug - and a lot of other stuff - magazines -

a mattress - plastic bags - garbage -

but then I focused on a stone - a

clean faced - no acne on it - just

sitting there - a solid one piece stone -

laughing at me. And I heard it saying,

“I last! Keep your eye on what lasts.”

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2016

PREPARE  A  FULL ACCOUNT

OF YOUR STEWARDSHIP!

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 31 Friday in Ordinary Time is, “Prepare a Full Account of Your Stewardship.”

That’s a statement in today’s gospel, in the parable of the dishonest - but wise and prudent  - steward.

The Greek is translated into English in various ways: put it in writing, turn in an account, show me the books, make a list of money coming in and money going out….”

Modern translation: transparency!

WHEN ELSE DO WE HAVE THIS EXPERIENCE

When else do we have this experience of having to be transparent - put all on the table - let’s see what’s going on here?

In the next two weeks I have to see my regular doctor and a heart doctor. That sounds like a conversation that might take place in Heritage Harbor.

People empty out their pockets before stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office.

I have to take my blood sugar numbers every morning - with my Diabetes #2.  So I am careful for the few days before seeing my doctor - but she has this test that does a month before. Can’t cheat!

Make an account of your blood - your life - your health - your time.

As we get older, Erik Erikson, says the last stage of life is the 8^th Stage - when we look at our life and say one or two things: not bad or disaster and “Uh oh!”

It’s good to make an account of one’s life - one’s stewardship.

As priest I know this more than a lot of other people.

There is an act of contrition that I’ve heard people using and loving - that says “I’m sorry for sins I committed that are long forgotten.”  The person who wrote that prayer has to be over 65!

PEN AND PAPER

In December I’ll be going on my 33rd Kairos Retreat with our high school seniors.

On the opening night an adult gets up and gives a talk called, “Autobiography” or “LifeGraph.”  She or he tells the story of their life up to that moment. I’ve given that talk 2 times. I prefer others to give it - so as to hear others give an account of their stewardship. Hearing another tell the story of their life - triggers stories in our lives.

At the end of the talk, someone gets up and says draw a line on a blank piece of paper - on the top put all the positives - on the bottom put all the negatives. I’ve done that exercise 32 times now.

Then in a small group each person tells their history to the other members of their small group. 

At 17 or 18 years of age, kids have a long way to go - compared to someone 76 years old.

To me that’s a great exercise - getting me in touch with my history and mystery.

If you have pen and pencil - or computer - jot down your life.

Do a time line.

READ AUTOBIOGRAPHIES

I love to read biographies - but especially autobiographies.

I urge you to read other people’s memories, published diaries and autobiographies.

I urge you to write your life - your memories.

I was in a hospital room on Wednesday - and a guy - 96 years of age was unconscious - and probably dying. He was on a boat that was hit in the water at Pearl Harbor - and lived.

His daughter in law - reached into her pocket book or bag and took out some papers. They were notes she took of his life - while he was conscious.  She also had some papers that he wrote down about his life.

He was born in Oklahoma - was a cowboy - a rancher - and part Indian. He was also in the Navy!

In time he got married and had kids and had the story of a life.

In this homily I’m saying, “Write your life.” In this homily I’m saying, “Make and account of your stewardship.”

I remember sitting down with my dad before he died and got a nice listing of where he had been and what happened in the time of his life. Years later I sat with a tape recorder and got some of the details of my life.

My niece Kathy volunteers down in New Orleans to sit with someone as they tell the story of their life - on tape. I don’t know the whole process, but I think they get a copy of their life and a copy goes into the archives of the United States or something like that.

MONTANA

When it was the 200^th anniversary of the Lewis and Clark expedition I did the Montana part of that expedition by car with 2 classmates. We had about two weeks together.

It was a neat chance to catch up after we finished our studies. Clem went to Brazil. Tom went to Puerto Rico and Santo Domingo and I stayed in the states.

We talked to each other and made an account of our stewardship.

CONCLUSION

What’s key in doing this is the aftermath.

Like the guy in the gospel who had to make an account of his stewardship, it’s what happened afterwards that was key.

I know that I’ve thought a lot about my life by hearing and reading about others’ lives. Isn’t that the purpose of why Jesus told us this story. Amen.

++++++++++++++++

Painting on top: Al Capone With His Mafia Accountant

ESCAPE…. RUN!

Sometimes the itch of anger

escapes out from under the

edges of me - “Oooh!  Oh no!”

Then there is the ooze of wanting

to snap at someone for being selfish

or not seeing what I’m seeing.

It’s then that I have to step back

or step out of  me - out of there -

and take a walk around the block

and  hopefully come back home

to normal, I hope, please God.

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2016