Friday, April 13, 2012


BAKING

He loved baking bread -
kneading, rolling, squeezing,
pushing his body into the dough -
and then to hear at supper,
at table, “More bread!
This is delicious! Thank you!”
And he would make extra loaves
of bread for neighbors for free -
and he would hear thanks from them
when they spotted him 
on the street during the week.
All this was brought out
in the eulogy at his funeral.
And his wife and kids saved
that last loaf - well half a loaf -
which is better than none -
as they say - from his last supper
with them - and then came the
heart attack that last night -
that last supper with him.

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2012


EATING

She liked to eat - but she ate 
too much. She knew that.
She could feel the weight
on her butt - but that
didn’t stop her. She felt the
pressure on her knees. That
didn’t stop her either.

She began spotting articles
about weight loss and eating
smart - but that brought guilt
and comparisons which
made her eat even more.

If she heard it once, she
heard it twenty times: “It’s
not what you eat; it’s
what’s eating you.” And
every time she laughed
at that one - saying,
“It’s what you eat!” 

Then she met someone
and she took off 38 pounds.
Then she had a t-shirt made
with the words, “It’s not what
you eat, but whom you meet!”

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2012

       COACHING

He always wanted to be a coach,
even when he was a player ….
Then when he made it, when
he was hired, he began to feel
the tough of it - the decisions -
to cut players - to bench ego’s -
to field the best - realizing this
meant the wrath of parents -
the nasty chanting of fans -
when the team was going
through a slump - yet he hung
in there - with Harry Truman’s
words on his office desk. “If you
can’t stand the heat, get out of
the kitchen.” That helped, but
what really helped was a poem
his wife read to him from Mary Oliver:

FARM COUNTRY*

I have sharpened my knives, I have
Put on the heavy apron.

Maybe you think life is chicken soup, served
In blue willow-pattern bowls.

I have put on my boots and opened
The kitchen door and stepped out

Into the sunshine. I have crossed the lawn
I have entered

The hen house.




* Mary Oliver, New and  Selected Poems
Volume One, Page  211


© Andy Costello, Reflections 2012

WORKING

She was a working mom
all those years - but didn’t
think she was really working -
just raising kids - taking them
to the park - and then driving,
driving them everywhere.
Some shopping was work;
some shopping was fun.
She liked supermarkets
with a baby in the cart
in front of her - that was
always a conversation starter,
but it became a nuisance
once her boys could walk.
They could be wanderers
in the  supermarket aisles.
Cooking - no problem. She
loved to cool. Cleaning - no.
Then when the kids were
in school - it was second career
time. Surprise she flourished.
She liked being an accountant,
the degree she got and never used.
Well, better say it here in this story,
there are no surprise happenings.
Just life. A husband and a wife -
still talking about when they retire.
In the meanwhile, those tuition
bills and college costs pitter
patter on their radar screen.
Ooops! What about weddings?
Life - for some. Then there is
the Sudan - and Afghanistan.



© Andy Costello, Reflections 2012
THINKING

He was thinking ….
That was her complaint about him.
He was thinking.
He was a quiet guy.
When she’d ask, “A penny for
your thoughts?” he’d just say,
“Oh just thinking. Just thinking.”
That is what bothered her and she
let him know this on a regular basis.
So he thought about this constant
complaint of her’s, He tried to tell
her what was going on at work
- the power struggles going on there -
but she’d jump in and cut him off
and tell him what he ought to do.
Then he’d think about that and
say to himself, “It ain’t worth it.
It ain’t worth it. She really doesn’t
want to think with me.”
Then he’d think about
why he tended to repeat,
repeat, what he was thinking.
Then he laughed. She gets
mad with my doing too much
thinking?  I even get mad
at too much thinking.
Think about that.

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2012
SMILING

He was always smiling…
and laughing as well - and
some people he knew in court
thought this was wrong. Judges
are always supposed to be serious.
You know the old saying,
“As serious as a judge!”
He’d counter - “But sometimes
it’s funny - the things people do.”
And he’d laugh all the way
to beginning of a trial. Then
as he walked into court
he’d put on his serious face.
Then came the horror stories.
And every once and a while,
he make a funny comment.
And he thought it was funny
that people didn’t know that
sometimes there is something
funny even in the midst
of the biggest tragedy.

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2012


       WALKING AWAY



She simply walked away ….
It was something she saw her dad do too …
simply walk away. Not a big deal….
When things get testy, just walk away.

Her mom would be criticizing her dad ….
When it became too much, he just 
walked away. So when her mom started
on her … she too simply  - walked away.

Their dog, now alone, seeing dad
and daughter gone -  knew it was
his turn to deal with a screaming mom,
so he started scratching the tile floor and
and then the back door - till she opened it
and he walked and wandered away.

Finally her mom - the yeller - figured
it out. Nobody was left to yell at.
So that day she took off her apron
and her scowl, opened the front door
and she too simply - walked away.

Surprise that night - all were back home -
including their dog.  Mom apologized for how
she was treating them lately. First time dad
or daughter ever heard that. Then mom
began laughing - first time they saw that too.
She told them that after they left she was
standing there with nobody left to yell at
but herself. Not wanting to hear herself yelling,
so she too walked away. Then three streets
away from herself, she saw how ridiculous
she could be so she walked back home to be
her old self again. And all hugged each other
and laughed. Then dad said with a smile,
“Anybody want to go for a walk…?”

© Andy Costello, Reflections 2012