THE LONGEST JOURNEY
IS THE JOURNEY WITHIN

INTRODUCTION

The longest journey is the journey within. We prefer to slip away and step elsewhere. We tend to keep the door to our soul locked. We hang a sign on the door, “Closed!” We don’t take the steps down to our inner room – to the bottom of our basement - to the bottom of our soul. (1) Instead of meeting ourselves down there, and eating with the Lord in there, (2) we spend our time looking at and judging others – judging their motives and thinking we know their souls. (3)

REALIZING WHO JESUS IS TAKES TIME

Jesus walked around for three years – but it took his disciples another 10, 20, 30 40, 50 years to grasp who he is. We know this because this is how it happens to us as well.

Okay, some people get Jesus faster than others.

We start our lives on the pages of Genesis. We are Adam and Eve – and we are some of the characters that follow. We have a history. We celebrate and kill prophets. We cry the complaints of the Psalms. Hopefully, we discover Wisdom and Wisdom figures in our lives.

Then in the fullness of time – we can become New Testament people. This happens when we realize Bethlehem is not just there – back then. It’s here – right here inside us – and i't right now. The down deep stable of our soul is just as stinky and ox and assy as Bethlehem’s was. Of course, we don’t get this or accept this. “Really? The one who can save us is born in me? Never.”

If and when we connect the gospel story of Jesus with our story, we've hearing the Good News. Bethlehem is a story on the pages of Luke and Mathew. It's Good News when it becomes a story in the pages of our life. That small, cold and crying Baby wants to be born in our inner Bethlehem.

Discipleship is turning the pages of the Gospels and entering into its scenes and interacting with Jesus who walks up and down our inner streets. It's asking the questions the followers and crowd ask. It's Jesus healing our demons and helping us to see and hear and speak. The stories are told so we can realize we are the lost sheep or coin or son or daughter – and the call is to come home to the Father – to forgive us our trespasses – and not be like the older brother when we can’t accept ourselves and eat the fatted calf with our mistake-making-self.

We are growing when we stop to help our brother and sister on the road. We are growing when we put in our two cents. We are growing when we give our few loaves of bread and are surprised with what happens next: love and goodness multiply.

We are growing when we know the Law is there to help us. We are growing even more when we shrink ego or die to self so we can squeeze through the eye of the needle and enter the Kingdom. We grow as we are challenged by do's more than don'ts. Jesus is there to liberate us for a life beyond worrying about sin - ours and our neighbors. It's a life in the kingdom – enjoying the birds of the air and the lilies of the field – enjoying spending time with Martha and Mary and their brother Lazarus or whatever our neighbor or friends’ names are. “Joy to the World” is our song.

We are growing when we have Jesus' eye - when we see folks at our doorsteps - on our streets - at work - at home - at school - at church - folks whom we never noticed before.

We are growing when we know down deep within us – our demons can return – and with a fury.

TODAY’S GOSPEL – 27 FRIDAY OT

This is what today’s gospel is about – this story of demons – a way the people of Jesus’ time understood the mystery of the human person. (4)

We have demons. We don't like to accept this inner reality - so we demonize others.

Paul and Augustine will come along and articulate the same message with their take on the psychology of human reality – with their take on evil – to be aware that sin can keep knocking at the door our inner down deep self . We can incarnate evil and then self destruct. Aren’t there days when we say, “I’m beside myself.” or “I’m not myself today.” or “This is not my better self.”?(5) Don't we want to be our best self?

Shakespeare showed us this same inner stuff on the stage – with his plays that hold the mirror up to human nature. (6)

Hawthorne and Melville told us this in their writings. (7)

CONCLUSION: KNOW YOURSELF
We see it every time we’re wanting everyone else to change but ourselves. We see this every time we blame, blame, blame – and make another whom we really don’t know the enemy.

In the meanwhile, go down those stairs and spend time in one's soul - in our inner room.

Be aware! Jesus keeps knocking on our door and it's a good move when we invite him inside. (8)

And beware! The last line in today's gospel has this mysterious warning: the demon down deep inside us wants company....

NOTES:

(1) Matthew 6: 5-6; 7: 1-5

(2) Matthew 9: 9-13; Luke 15: 2

(3) Luke 18: 9-14

(4) Luke 11: 15-26

(5) Confer Romans Chapters 6 to 9; Confessions of Augustine Book 8.

(6) Hamlet, III, ii, 25 “To hold, as ‘twere, the mirror up to nature; to show virtue her own feature, scorn her own image, and the very age and body of the time his form and pressure.” Yet as James says in 1:23-24, we take a quick look in the mirror at most.

(7) The Scarlet Letter, Ethan Brand, and “The Haunted Mind” in Twice-Told Tales, by Nathaniel Hawthorne and Moby Dick by Herman Melville.

(8) Revelation 3:20

BUGGING ME

There was this fly who was bugging me.
I grabbed the fly swatter
and got him on a closed window
on my second attempt.
That was three days ago.
Today in a quiet moment
it hit me, “Not fair!
Why didn't I give him or her a chance for more time?
What’s their life span: 15 to 30 days?
I couldn’t tell if he was a she

or she was a he or how that works with flies

or how old it was."

Then further thoughts:

“Isn't it Jainism – that Indian religion -
that advocates this non-killing

and they have to have
a lot more flies flying around than here?”
Then further thoughts:
“How many people have I swatted
with my interruptions
and never let them finish their comment?
How many people have I hurt
and they are still feeling it
a lot more than 3 days later?"

© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2008

I AM A VINEYARD

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is “I Am A Vineyard.”

A theme from today’s first reading and today’s gospel is, “We Are A Vineyard” and God’s call is that we produce good grapes – not sour grapes or wild grapes.

Describing people as a vineyard is an allegory – an old allegory – that appears from time to time in the Bible.

The Psalm Response between the first two readings says it loud and clear: “The vineyard of the Lord is the House of Israel.”

The author of Psalm 80 says what the first reading and the gospel are saying, “God sees us as a vineyard – and we are God’s vineyard.”

Are we producing good fruit?

The title of my homily is, “I Am A Vineyard” instead of “We Are A Vineyard” – which the readings would suggest.

In general, moving from the “we” to the “I” – from the whole group to the individual, is not something that the Bible does. It’s something we do since the Enlightenment. We see a greater stress on the “I” in modern psychology and spirituality.

A funny side comment: the Creed at Mass was changed to “We believe” from “Credo” – “I believe”. Now it’s going to move back to the “I believe” in the near future.

GOD VISITING US

If God said to us – and this is a theme we’ll be hearing with several readings at the end of the Gospel of Matthew, “Make an account of your stewardship!” what would we say? What would we show? If God came to check out our vineyard, what would it look like? He even allows us to get moving at the last hour. [Check the vineyard theme in the last two Sunday gospels.]

QUESTIONAIRE – PERSONALITY TEST

If a therapist or a counselor, a psychologist or psychiatrist, asked us to draw ourselves as something other than a person, most of us would not draw ourselves as a vineyard.

What would you draw yourself as?

How about the old song by Simon and Garfunkle us older folks might remember, “I Am a Rock." [1965-66] Would I draw or describe myself as a rock or an island?

How about the more recent song, "The Bug", by Mary Chapin Carpenter. “Sometimes you’re the windshield, sometimes you’re the bug. Sometimes you’re the Louisville Slugger, sometimes you're the ball.”

Would we draw ourselves as a glass half empty or half full or would we draw ourselves as a mug overflowing because our life is filled with blessings and we want to share a sip with everyone?

Family test: when the electricity goes out – and we have paper, magic markers, candles or flashlights, have everyone draw themselves as something other than a person.

Animals would be interesting – better: if I was a dog, what kind of dog would I be.

Birds: if I was a bird, what kind of bird would I be?

Family members could also draw the others and then tell the others why they picked what they picked.

Warning: like the porcupine be very careful.

I AM A VINEYARD

If I was a vineyard, what would I look like?

Well tended vines? Beautiful looking grapes? Nice neat rows? Small? Large?

Now if God walked through our vineyard, would God say or sing the same song that the Prophet Isaiah sings in today’s first reading?

A friend of mine created a vineyard on a fertile hillside – spaded it, cleared it of stones, planted the choicest of vines, built a watchtower to protect the property, got great wood to build a good wine press, and ugh, the grapes are horrible.

Wouldn’t the person who did all that work be disappointed big time? Maybe in anger they would destroy everything and let it become a place for grazing.

Jesus in the gospel sings the same song.

God keeps asking us to produce good fruit. If we don’t care, if each time he sends someone to challenge us, we reject them; if he sends his son, and we crucify him, wouldn’t God just destroy us?

Jesus tells this tough parable again for us today – to challenge us – to give us one more chance. God is a God who dreams, who hopes, not a God who wants to destroy.

I am called to be a vineyard? How am I doing? What does the inside of my life look like – inside the walls?

Don’t we all love to see cool, delicious, grapes? How can we walk by a dish or bowl of delicious grapes? Don’t we reach out and take a couple? Don’t they taste “Uuuummmm! Delicious!”?

I don’t drink wine – except at Mass – and I don’t like wine, so at Mass I just take a tiny sip. This allows me to be one of those folks who like to kid folks who like wine.

We’re at the restaurant – let’s make it an expensive restaurant – and the waiter asks the person next to us, “Would you like a taste of the wine you just inquired about?” The person says, “Yes!” A few moments later the waiter comes back with a brand new bottle. He opens it up at the table. He takes a clean glass and pours a tiny bit in. He hands it to the person at our table. He or she tastes it. Sometimes they even sniff it. I don’t know if one is supposed to do that, but I never know which fork to use at big meals. The person says, “Wonderful!” The waiter fills the glass. Next, when the waiter leaves, all of us non wine drinkers, bust that person – about being so “snooty” and “refined”. Or is this ritual busting done only by us fat cat priests?

I am a vineyard.I am called to be good fruit – delicious grapes.

I am called to be good wine – the best of wine – and served first.

Am I?

CONVERSION – CHALLENGE – CHANGE - CALL

The scriptures challenge us, call us, to conversion and change – growth and development.

Don’t we all love stories about someone taking an old or run down house or boat or yard, and restoring it?

I remember my first assignment as a priest on the Lower East Side of Manhattan – New York City. There was an empty lot on this other block I used go down from time to time. It was an ugly space where a building had been. It was all weeds, dirt, bed springs, tires, broken shopping carts, a few rusting washing machines and dryers, and lots of garbage, garbage, garbage, junk, junk, junk.

It was an eye sore.

A group from the block decided to clean it out on Saturdays. It took time, but they did it. They planted tomatoes, peppers, zucchini, flowers, a few benches, a few trees, and surprise, it became a place of peace and meditation – a garden in the middle of an inner city block.

When a human being decides to move from a disaster area to a garden of delights – peace flows – joy grows.

Today’s readings challenge us to be the vineyard God wants us to be. If we hear that call - then we need to work, sweat, dig, hoe, spade, prune. We also need rain and to be watered.

Surprise – we can change. I can change. I can be the person God is calling me to be – the vineyard that brings delight to others.

CONCLUSION

I am not sure just how to end this homily, so let me close this way.

I gave a short talk and then had a discussion this morning over in Marian Hall entitled: “How Different, Different People Can Be: Father Michael Mueller and Father Francis X. Seelos, Redemptorists.”

I contrasted these two Redemptorists who were stationed here at Annapolis. Both are both long dead. I wouldn’t dare use those I live with as examples.

The statue of Father Francis Xavier Seelos – or Blessed Seelos – is out there on a bench in our garden. Sit with him from time to time. He was a wonderful person. He is "delicious grapes". Today, October 5th, is his feast day.

Father Michael Mueller – I think it was pronounced “Miller” by some. There is a marble plaque in his honor in the vestibule of our church. After Mass check it out – along with the Blessed Seelos bench.

Mueller was the man who built this church. Construction began in April of 1858. He was pastor here between 1857 to 1862.

Seelos was a saint who was also pastor here for a short time – 1862-1863. Like Mueller, besides being pastor, he was also in charge of the students who studied here.

Mueller didn’t like Seelos. He thought he was too easy. He wrote letters to get him removed from being in charge of our students. Mueller was a complainer. He got him dismissed.

Mueller preferred the military model for a seminary; Seelos didn’t.

Seelos had long lines for confession – wherever he was stationed. I don’t know if Mueller did. I know that I would never go to confession to Mueller. He was rather rigid – rather strict – rather morose. Father Michael Curley entitled his life of Father Seelos “Cheerful Ascetic” – for he was known for his joy, laughter and love of jokes. Father Mueller is described by Curley for having a “lugubrious mood” (p. 222), having "a picayune mind worried by trifles" that saw "sinister motives in Seelos" (p. 216), “too set in his ways, too rigid in his ideas, too melancholy in personality and ignorant of the American character.” (p. 156).

Surprise! Mueller became famous as a writer. His books are still selling. He’s still a hero of some rather rigid Catholics. Type his name into the Google search box - and be in for surprises. For example I found his book on the web site of the followers of Archbishop Marcel Lefevre who broke off from the Catholic Church . Some of his group are now back to the Church. It seems to me that Pope Benedict has bent over backwards to bring them back – promising more Masses in Latin, etc. I’m also reading that some can irking some folks in the Vatican, because they won’t be satisfied till they get their way.

A person with a sense of humor would add, “Don’t we all? Don’t we all?"

However, I don’t want to get into this controversy. [Blogs can go that way - with lots of letters.] If I learned anything from reading Blessed Francis X. Seelos life, it's this: keep working in the vineyard while others keep writing their letters of complaint.

I’ve drifted a bit here and I used that word, “Conclusion” above – so I’m sure you’re saying, “Conclude!”

So my closing question: Are people born pessimists or optimists, tasty grapes or sour grapes – happy or sad – rigid or relaxed? Am I who I am by nature or nurture? Is the core me, the forever me?

Or can I change? Is Father Mueller laughing in heaven – when it seems he didn’t laugh enough on earth?

I have to believe as a Redemptorist that the Gospel message is change. Yes we have traits we’re born or stuck with, but with God’s help, we can also dig, hoe, spade, remove rocks, sweat – and become a great vineyard that produces great grapes and wine – not sour grapes or undesired wine.

_________________________________________________________________

Pictures on top: F.X. Seelos is the oval picture - as well as the statue on the bench. Mueller is the rectangular picture. The plaque and the grave stone are self explanatory. The two pictures of grapes were recently taken in France by Ellen Griffin.

Michael Curley, The Cheerful Ascetic, The Redemptorists Seelos Center, New Orleans, Louisiana, USA, 2002

Michael Curley The Provincial Story, Redemptorists of the Baltimore Province, Copyright, 2003

Robert L. Worden, Saint Mary's Church in Annapolis, Maryland, A Sesquicentennial History, 1853-2003, Saint Mary's Parish, Annapolis, Maryland

THE GIFT OF WOOD

Backyards, front yards,
lumberyards ….
Wooden floors, ceiling beams,
decks and boardwalks ….
tables, chairs, picture frames,
desks, drawers and doors ….
I need to get to the woods
to see where all this wood
comes from – to say “Thank you”
for this eucharistic sacrifice,
to hear the trees say,
"This is my body…. this is my blood.
I’m giving my life to you.
Remember me. Remember that."
It was then I noticed a cross,
the sacred tree, the cut Christ,
on my wooden wall – the connection:
“This is my body…. this is my blood….
I'm giving my life to you. Remember me.
Remember that." Thank You.

© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2008

TRAFFIC SIGNS

Caught in traffic,
stuck behind a truck
on a spiral road,
late, behind schedule,
feeling my nerves
are doing the same thing,
that snarling,
that about to snap feeling,
antsy, agitated,
like being at a stupid meeting
or a dumb sermon,
of a “have to” meeting
on a “Back to School Night,”
trapped. I have to take
those STOP, YIELD,
SCENIC OVERVIEW
signs more seriously
otherwise I’m going to crash.

© Andy Costello,
  Reflections 2008

REMOTE CONTROL

Okay, this is what I know about you
so far. I’ve been watching you.
You always get the remote,
but please, don’t point it at me.
I’m not a television. I know you
try to change my channel when
I become boring or challenging,
when you want different. Sorry.
I’m not a program to be programmed.
I have my own ideas – my own ways.
My script isn’t finished yet – I’m
still in draft mode. I’m still figuring.
I don’t have to enjoy what you enjoy.
I don’t have to vote for the person
you’re pushing. I hear your reasons,
but I have my reasons. Don’t scream.
Don’t manipulate. Don’t push my buttons.
From what I’ve seen so far,
I don’t think you’re remotely aware of
who I am – what I’m thinking of.
Tune in once in a while
You might find me interesting.

© Andy Costello,
Reflections 2008

LABYRINTHINE
MUTTERINGS

Quite by accident

I found myself muttering the phrase,
“The Burden and the Blessing.”
It sounded like the title of a novel
or a movie made from a novel.
It would be one chase scene after another.
It would be the story of the struggles
of a president or a king,
a restaurant owner or a priest.

Make it a priest.
The word “blessing” has religious overtones.

The burden:
one man’s struggle with a parish,
with a people, with alcohol or anger,
with laziness or love,
with a woman, with God.
Would it be words whispered about him
behind his back, or the dark night journey
in search of God and God in search of him,
or the pain of going it alone,
or the saying “No!”
to powerful temptations hounding him?

The blessing:
the scent of God in the chase,
glimpses of being pursued,
and in the midst of all this
I found myself muttering the phrase,
“I am loved.”
Then the laugh, the realization,
“Hey stupid! All this has already
been written by Francis Thompson
in his poem, The Hound of Heaven.”
Then I laughed again, because it's also
written in Graham Green's novel,
The Power and the Glory - and surprise,
both of these are connected,
because the novel was also named,
"The Labyrinthine Ways.”

© Andy Costello,
Reflections 2008