SALTY  AND  LIGHTY

[From time to time, I like to write a story, to try to  capture the message of the gospel or one of the readings. So  today  I  wrote this short story – entitled SALTY and LIGHTY. It uses the theme of the gospel call to all of us to be salt and light.]

Once upon a time, there were two brothers: Wally and Willie. Twins ….

Wally liked his name when people called him “Wally” – but not when people called him “Walter” his baptismal name. Wally was a Wally – funny – sweet – always had  a smile - ever on his face.  Wally.

His twin brother Willie – preferred being called “Willie” and not William – his baptismal name -  but being 12  minutes older than his brother Wally – he seemed to be a bit more serious – than his brother Wally – but not that much – yet for reasons unknown – these things are mysterious -  people tended to call him the more formal name of William – but he preferred Willie.

They were only brothers – twins -  the delight of their mom and dad’s lives - Millie and Mike.

They went to the same grammar school, St. Ursula’s – the same high school – St. Christopher’s – and the same college – St. Anselm’s University.

Wally - after graduation with a business degree – went to work for K-Mart –  Wall-Mart wasn’t around yet. He did that and he did well – but his dream was to own his own business – and finally he spotted a Delicatessen for sale – the owner a Norwegian – who wanted to retire and move to Florida.

It worked. Wally’s Deli – was extremely successful.  People loved working for him. He made great subs – long before Subway. He knew people wanted the best cold cuts – Boar’s Head – and the best breads and spreads.  His Deli had a great catering service and put together at least through the years  10,000 after baptism parties, showers, Super Bowl parties, retirement parties, etc. etc. etc. parties.

Willie went a different route – going into the Marines – having gone into the ROTC program at St. Alselm’s University. He was in Vietnam – was wounded – but not that serious.  But seeing too many wounded warriors – he set his sights on becoming a psychologist –  in the military – and that is what he did with his life. Too many soldiers were in too many dark places.

After 20 plus years in the marines, Willie moved back to New Jersey – just a block away from Wally – when he retired.

The parish church they both went to needed ushers – so Willie signed up for the 10:30 Mass each Sunday – and he talked Wally into joining him.

A funny thing happened to All Saints Church – once these two guys – Wally and Wille - had really worked their way into the 10:30 Mass.

Attendance at that Mass went up – new customers – as well as switchers from the 8:30 and the 12:30 Masses.

It took a while for parishioners to notice this.  It took a while longer for the pastor – the one priest in this small New Jersey parish – to notice this subtle change.

Wally and Willie didn’t see it happening. They were too busy ushering.

But it was happening.

Hospitalty – the best wheel chair spots for those in wheel chairs and their attendants – humor – knowing names – and who goes with whom – all were secrets of the usher job description.

And the pastor realized it was Wally and Willie – the best ushers he ever had. People – without knowing it – felt much more at home at the 10:30 Sunday Mass. The pastor did as well.  For some reason his sermons were slightly more joyful, funny, hospitable, insightful at the 10:30.

One Sunday there – it was a game changer – it was a name changer. The gospel was from Matthew – from the Sermon on the Mount. It was about the moment Jesus told his disciples they are to be salt and light – to make a difference wherever they go – as salt does and as light does  – making subtle changes to food and to the room. Well,  the pastor was talking to Wally and Willie after Mass and blurted out: “Wally and Willie you guys are like salt and light around here. I’m going to call you Salty and Lighty.”

“Who’s who?” said, Wally to the Pastor.

“Wally, obviously, you’re Salty.”

Wally, Willie and the Pastor all laughed, but from that day forward, Salty and Lighty – were Salty and Lighty – much  more than Wally and Willie.

Now things change.

Salty and Lighty, Willie and Wally, both decided to go to Florida for the month of February – renting condo’s in the Port St. Lucie area – they both were losers – being Mets fans. Their wives had friends in that area as well.

Their kids – no twins – but 3 kids each – were long gone and married. So, a month away was a great winter recipe for both of them and their marriages.

Yes – wow did their parish back north in New Jersey miss Salty and Lighty  big time when they were gone – each February.

What people also slowly discovered – well not all -  you’d have to go to the local hospital – to possibly spot this - both gave two days every week – except February – to usher people – in wheel chairs and what have you up and around the hospital – as volunteers – wearing rich blue blazers.

And wow did they make a difference in the hospital those Monday’s and Tuesday’s – their 2 Volunteer days.

P.S.  When the pastor was retiring – the party being catered by Wally’s Son’s Deli – the pastor publicly  thanked Wally and Willie – Salty and Lighty -  as the best ushers he’s ever experienced. And they got a standing ovation – bigger than the Pastor got. And the pastor added: “If the diocese ever has an Ushers Hall of Fame for churches or the diocese – I’m putting your names in for the first ballot. Thank you Salty and Lighty.”