THE  EPHESIANS 

5: 21-33  MARRIAGE  TEST 

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 30 Tuesday in Ordinary Time is, “The Ephesians 5: 21-33 Marriage Test.”

I am not a professional marriage counselor, but I would think today’s first reading would be a helpful marriage counseling or evaluating test.

I am aware that counselors use pictures and drawings at times to get glimpses of what people are like - how they react - how they think - how they see life etc.

For example, I know counselors sometimes present pictures - like 3 silhouette drawings of a mom, a dad, and a kid and ask, “Which one of these three is not a family?”

Or for example,  they are shown three animals and they are asked, “Which animal is more you?” Then they are asked, “How do you see another family member?”  And they listen to the answers the other or others give.

TODAY’S FIRST READING

Today’s first reading gets at;  who’s in charge - who’s the boss - dealing with imperfections.

It deals with love and forgiveness and respect.

It deals with differences. It deals with holiness, God and church.

A Christian marriage counselor could have couples read this reading quietly - then each could read it out loud - then discussion could follow.

I know a lady who calls up the rectory of her parish church when this reading is coming up the following Sunday and says, “It better not be read.”

This reading or a similar one has notes on the side saying a substitute can be chosen or a condensed version can be read.  I always wonder about that because those with missalette can see the whole reading.

I remember being at a biblical conference in Chicago and a lady asked about this text  -  complaining that is was sexist - and doesn’t give women full equality - and the scripture scholar who responded s by saying,  “Look, this is written by someone from long ago.  It mirrors how people were thinking back then, not now.”

The speaker also said, “We have various other documents from the mind-set of the 1^st century in the Mediterranean Basin. This document and several NT texts show the treatment of women far better in comparison.”

MARRIAGE 2018

I’m not married - so I’m quite hesitant to say anything about marriage.

As Clint Eastwood once said in a Dirty Harry movie, “A man has got to know his limitations.”

However, a woman once asked to speak to me about her husband. I listened. Then she said to me: “Wait a minute. You’re not married, so you don’t understand men.”  I smiled and said, “Wait a minute I live with 9 of them.”  She paused - thought for a few moments - smiled - laughed and said, “You’re right.”

Not being married I’m see marriages where a wife is way ahead of the man. I’ve seen marriages where one is better than the other in different areas - say, “She is much better with finances than he is.” Or “He’s a better cook!”

So I would think this text from Ephesians has to be considered in the light of a much more educated woman.

And looking at today’s gospel,  with its two images - first of the mustard seed and the making of bread - using wheat flour and yeast. Both look at growth. So when talking about marriage,   couples better be growing - and better be better - after 10 or 20 years of marriage compared  to earlier years of marriage.

CONCLUSION

I would think couples need to evaluate how they have grown, where they are now, and how do they want to become. I would think reading a good marriage improvement book or course or counseling or a Marriage Encounter weekend - with some good self-tests - would certainly help - along with scripture  reading and prayer. Amen.