I  WANT  WHAT  I  WANT 

WHEN  I  WANT  IT.

The title of my homily is, “I Want What I Want, When I Want It?”

That’s my take on today’s first reading from the 1^st Book of Kings 21: 1-16.

Ahab wants a piece of property that doesn’t belong to him.

Naboth owns the property.

Ahab wants that piece of property - so he can make it a vegetable garden.

Hey that piece of property  is right next to Ahab’s house.

Naboth tells Ahab that the piece of property is part of his family’s ancestry.

Ahab gets angry - heads for  his bed - angry.  He is so angry he won’t eat food.

Ahab happens to be the king!  His wife happens to be Jezebel.

She asks Ahab her hubby, “Why are you so angry that you won’t  eat?”

He tells Jezebel about Naboth - that he won’t sell him that piece of property he really wants.

He tells Jezebel, “I told him that I would give him a vineyard in exchange for his  piece of property.”

Jezebel says, “A fine ruler over Israel you are.” Then she says, “Get out of  bed. Cheer up. Eat. I will get you the vineyard from Naboth.”

She then comes up with an elaborate plot. She writes letters in Ahab’s name - calling for a fast. She has Naboth up front in a religious fast procession. She gets two scoundrels to accuse Naboth of cursing both God and king. They scream, “Stone him to death.”  They drag Naboth out of the city and stone him to death.

When Jezebel learns that Naboth has been stoned to death, she says to Ahab. “Go take possession of the vineyard!”

And Ahab starts on his way down to the vineyard to take possession of it.

Stay tuned for the rest of the story!

I want to know the end of the story right now.

The title of my homily is, “I Want What I Want When I Want It.”

Listen to all the conversations that have exactly that same plot taking place around our world  each day.

I want that driver to get out of the left lane, right now, and get over to the right lane. Uuuuuuuh.

I don’t want that woman dressed the way she is dressed. In church? Horrible. Terrible.

I want that waitress to get over here right now. Where is that hissy hussy?

I want that sermon to be shorter, different, and to cover something I want covered that is in today’s gospel.

I want my children to have their children baptized.

I want that guy to lose at least 95 pounds.

I want my neighbor not to cut his lawn at this time in the morning  - when I want to sleep.

I want that check out lady to move it - to stop talking to the customer three ahead of me - come on lady, do your job. Move it. I don’t have all day.

I want a bigger house - car - a less chewy steak - and no pains in my back.

I want what I want when I want it.