WHAT  TO  DO? 

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 23 Sunday in Ordinary Time [A] is,  “What To Do?”

Sometimes we don’t know what to do?

Sometimes we know what to do - but if we do - there are consequences - uncomfortable consequences - Uh oh consequences!

After all, who  wants to feel - the funny feelings we feel - when we feel we have to correct someone else? Those are some of the ugh moments of life.

TODAY’S READINGS

Today’s readings make religion real.

Today’s reading puts some words that are covered with sandpaper into our ears and then into our mind. As they slide down our ear canal they can rub us the wrong way.

So and so is drinking too much, do we say or do anything?

So and so is cheating on his or her spouse, do we do anything?

So and so is killing themselves by overeating - do we intervene?

Today’s readings touch on this issue of what to do.

Ezekiel - in the first reading - tells us - we are appointed by God to be watchmen and watchwomen and warn those who are being wicked - to tell them, “This is killing you.” and / or, “This is killing us and others.”

You’re kidding.  Nope. That is what Ezekiel is saying.

If the other kills themselves and we didn’t do anything to warn them, then Ezekiel says, God is saying, “I am holding you responsible. But if we warn the other and they refuse to turn from their wicked ways, the other will die from their guilty behaviors, but we will save ourselves.

The second reading tells not to owe anyone anything  - except our love for them.

Translated: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. This means not doing any evil to another - no adultery, no killing, no stealing, no wanting their stuff.

And the gospel comes back to the watchman or watchwoman theme.

If your brother or sister sins against you, tell them their fault - but just between the two of you.

If they won’t listen to you, get two or three witnesses, and you and they together confront the person who is messing up - and if the person won’t listen to the 3 or 4 of you, then go the larger community and all of you challenge the person messing up.

If the other still won’t listen, then cut them out of your life.

But Jesus in today’s gospel  adds - pray for that person - and it seems to be saying, “Do that prayer as a group."

The title of my homily is, “What To Do?”

FURTHER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS

One of my favorite sayings is, “Teach thy tongue to say, ‘I do not know.’” That’s found in the Jewish Talmud.

Years and years ago - before being  here in Annapolis - I remember being stationed with a priest who had a drinking problem.

Yes, we experience in the rectory, what many families experience in their home. We have an old saying: Rectories can be wrectories.

We talked about “What to do?” hundreds of times about this guy.

A good dozen times we told this guy he has a drinking problem 1 to 1 as well as 5 or 6 to 1.

Nothing worked. He spent his life in a daze.

I write and I remember writing out of frustration a short piece and it’s published in one of my books. I never showed it to the guy - but I looked it up today while writing this homily.

TO AN ALCOHOLIC

The speed of the suicide

depends upon the mind of the person.

Just the other day

I was reading in the paper

about this man in Florida

who blew his brains out

with just one shot.

That’s all it took,

that’s all it took, just one shot.

And as I put down

the paper I wondered

about you sitting there

with another drink

in your hand

and it’s not even

noon-time yet.

You’ll never make headlines.

But I suppose someday soon

I’ll read it in the paper

or hear that you died,

and I suppose very few

will know you’ve

been blowing your brains

out for years, 

yesterday,

today, everyday,

with many shots.

And I ask myself:

should I tell you what

I’m reading or should

I guess how long it will take?

There it was. I was facing what I’ve heard from my own family members - as well as lots of people asking a priest - the title of this homily, “What to Do?”

However this same guy once said about another, but similar situation,  “I’m not going to tell you or him about his problem. I have to live with you or him.”

So we ask others to intervene. So we send anonymous letters. So we go to AL anon.

And sometimes if we tell another why people are having problems with them, things get worse - things get uncomfortable.

I remember a moment when I was a young priest in my first assignment. 

Someone called and asked to see me. They wanted me to be the messenger of tough news to a family member. So I called and met with the person whom nobody would tell them about their problem. Then when all hell broke loose, the person who asked me to deliver the poison meatball said, “I didn’t tell you to do that.”

They didn’t sue me - but I learned my lesson - big time. I never did that again. But I did learn better and more difficult ways to get people to confront each other. Tough stuff….

CONCLUSION

Most of the time - it’s my experience - that most of life - sad to say - is kept in the bottom drawer, swept under the rug, grin and bear it, because we have to live with one another.

Most of the time - it’s my experience - that sometimes people change - wake up - improve - or die and the problem is solved.

Most of the time - it’s my experience - that when we hear people complaining about others  - it’s smart to ask oneself  the biblical question, that the disciples said at the last supper when Jesus said, “One of you will betray me?” and they asked, “Is it I Lord?” So when people are complaining about a, b, or c, - it’s a good idea to pause and see where I have to change concerning a, b, c, or d, e and f - or whatever the problem is.