EXPECTATIONS:

DON’T  FORGET  THE  ADJECTIVES

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 24 Tuesday in Ordinary Time is, “Expectations: Don’t Forget the Adjectives.”

Today’s first reading from the First Letter of St. Paul to Timothy has a whole list of expectations for bishops, deacons, and women. Check out 1 Timothy 3:1-13.

Presbyters aren’t mentioned.  Moreover, we’re dealing here with the Early Church as they are slowly getting organized. In the gospels we hear about Jesus' followers being called disciples and apostles - then other titles and positions evolved.

EXPECTATIONS FOR BISHOPS

Bishops are to be trustworthy, irreproachable, married only once, temperate, self-controlled, decent, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not aggressive, gentle, not contentious, not a lover of money. They need to be able to manage their own household and keep their kids under control. They are not to be a recent convert, nor conceited, but to have a good reputation among outsiders.

What qualifications would you have on your list?

Everyone has expectations about others.

Want to know what yours are for waitresses, other drivers, ushers, priests, spouses? Answer: simply jot down what you get angry about?

EXPECTATIONS FOR DEACONS

Dignified, not deceitful, not addicted to drink, not greedy, holds the faith, has a clear conscience. They are to only to be married once - as well as manage their own homes well.

EXPECTATIONS FOR WOMEN

Dignified, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in everything.

ADJECTIVES

When I used to run workshops for church leaders, parishes, organizations, we taught people to use adjectives.

For example some adjectives would be: realistic, unrealistic, stated, unstated, possible, impossible.

Name a role like leader or teacher or priest and then jot down expectations for them. For example: pastor. Next add your expectations you have of them.  Like: never mentions money. Is available 24/7/365.  Then put an adjective like unrealistic  or possible in front of that expectation. For example, looking at today’s gospel, “can raise the dead”. Write in front of that expectation: “impossible”.

We have two new priests here. When people hear that, immediately, expectations kick in. It’s the same when we get a new pastor, bishop, deacon, or who have you. It’s the same when your son or daughter wants you to meet someone they are interested in. 

Expectations are expected.

So put down expectations for each role or position and then put an adjective in front of that expectation.

In a really small organization  - or team - or council -  that has worked together a lot - you could even put down each member’s name and put expectations in front of each name - and then adjectives in front of each expectation. Warning: trust and understanding better be at a high level for such a process. 

OTHER FACTORS

Any of you who have taken the Myers-Briggs personality test know that if a person is highly organized, very neat, always on time, perfectly dressed, they are less apt to be imaginative or creative.  I can say that from experience, because I am a slob - and the adjective I’d put in front of slob would be, “typical”.

Everyone who makes someone bishop or pastor, knows two things: not everyone has all the gifts and secondly, you have to deal with the players on the team that you have.  The pool is only so deep and so wide and these are the only people in or around the pool.

Too many people play fantasy parish, priest, spouse, neighbor, church ….

Everyone wants superstars. Sorry there are not that many around.

Next there are scales: on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how is this candidate when it comes to running a parish or a meeting or teaching or preaching - or being social, listening, etc. etc. etc.?

Next comes my question: can people change? Can people learn? Can we come up with new ways of running the ship? Can we really tell another that they don’t have it and they need to improve - but can anyone change over 70, 60, 50, 40, 30?  Each of us has to ask: have I ever changed? Have I been basic me all my life?

If I have changed, mellowed, grown, how did that happen? What triggered it, etc., etc., etc.

Years ago I remember being in a parish near Rochester NY, where I noticed the pastor hired this wonderful guy who could do books, plow snow, solve maintenance problems, etc. etc. etc. This left the pastor to do personal stuff - like visiting the sick and the homebound - and work on his homilies.

LOOKING AHEAD

For the 8 ½ years before coming to Annapolis, I was in a different parish every week for about 20 to 25 weeks of the year. I saw a lot - and it gives me I think some experience in some of these expectation issues.  

My number one adjective - for many expectations - sorry to say - is “Unrealistic.”

And I think of myself as an optimist.

Pope Francis is calling on the church to have bishops who smell like sheep, get down there in the sweat and dirt of daily life - to be compassionate more than bosses. Those who want a church to slam and shame sinners, you’d get a disagreeable adjective from me.  Sorry ….

CONCLUSION

I’m a Luke 15 Catholic.

How’s that for a button or bumper sticker?

I’m a Luke 15 Catholic.