WHO  AM  I, 

WHEN  NOBODY’S  LOOKING?

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 11 Wednesday in Ordinary Time is, “Who Am I When Nobody’s Looking?”

Who am I, when I am alone?

I think Jesus did a lot of thinking about this question.

Was it because he didn’t start his public life, till he was around 30?

Was it because he saw too much public posturing by the Pharisees and the Scribes, etc, etc. etc.

The scribes could write. They had the degrees on their walls.

The Pharisees were the religious purists.

When it comes to worship and religion, Jesus saw some tricky possible places where we can trip up. We heard about them in today’s gospel - and we hear about them at the beginning of every Lent.

FOR EXAMPLE

For example, he must have seen a lot of people praying to be seen praying. He said, “They are already getting their reward.”

For example, he must have seen lots of people putting money in the poor box - with loud coins or much fanfare.  Those who emptied out the poor box must have known human nature and how to get more coins and cash.

For example, he must have heard lots of folks bragging about their fasting - just as everyone on a diet - seems to let us know they are on a diet.

In other words, don’t toot your own horn.

Folks who toot their own horn must know the old saying, “If you don’t toot your own horn, your own horn goes untooted.”

INNER ROOM

Jesus discovered somewhere along the line the importance of one’s inner room, one’s inner temple, one’s inner sanctuary.

The title of my homily is, “Who Am I When Nobody’s Looking?”

When we are all alone, that’s the real me.

Who am I when I am alone?

We spend all our waking hours talking to ourselves.  Sometimes we don’t listen to what we are talking to ourselves about.

Sometimes we blot out those sounds with babble, with words, with prayers, and never stop to listen to ourselves as well as to our God.

Sometimes we keep talking so we don’t have to listen to God who surrounds us.

I was stationed in another diocese once and I often heard that when the bishop comes to a rectory, he does all the talking. I was there when he finally visited our place. Sure enough, he sat at the head of the table and controlled the whole conversation.

I wondered if he ever heard that everyone said behind his back he didn’t know how to listen.

In silence, in our inner room, that’s where we can meet the real God -  as well as the real me.

THE SINGER IN THE CHAPEL

Let me tell you about a favorite moment in my life. It was the early 1990’s and I was with our novices on a 3 day workshop. It was midnight and I was sitting in the corner in the back bench of a chapel in a retreat house.

It was dark and I was simply sitting in the dark in prayer.

The door opened.

“Uh oh!” I thought.

But whoever it was, the person didn’t turn the lights on.  So I didn’t know if the person was male or female, young or old.

The person walked carefully to the front of the chapel.

I kept quiet - so as not to scare the person.

The person sat down on the other side of the altar. I could tell that by the red tabernacle candle.

I heard the person open something. Click. Click. And I could then tell it was a guitar coming out of a guitar case. The person then began to sing a love song in prayer to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.

It was obviously a young woman - a novice - in one of the religious orders of nuns - on the novice program we were attending.

She finished. She put the guitar back in the case and click, click, closed it.

I remained absolutely quiet and still.

After about 10 minutes of prayer I presume, she got up and walked out.

I was just privy to a sacred moment in another person’s life.

Did she do this every night?

What ever happened to that young lady? Did she become a nun?

CONCLUSION

One of my favorite quotes is from William Sloan Coffin -  - who was Senior Minister at the Riverside Church in New York City.  When asked if he enjoyed being a minister, he said, “Of course. It’s an honor being invited into the secret garden of another person.”

Obviously being a priest all these years and having had that experience all these years, I would like that comment.

It’s good to go into the secret garden of one’s soul. It’s good to go into the dark chapel - the dark inner room - of oneself and to sing and pray and be with oneself and with the Lord.  

The more we do that, the more we get to know who we are as well as who God is. Amen.