ON BEING AND NOT BEING 

THE  FAVORITE

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this Monday in the First Week in Ordinary Time is, “On Being and Not Being the Favorite.”

How many times have we heard parents and others say, “I have no favorites”?

How many times have we said to ourselves in response, “Hello!”

How many times have we thought to ourselves about teachers, coaches, parents, bosses: “You’re playing favorites”?

When challenged - people will sometimes say, “Well, it all depends what we’re dealing with here. Sometimes so and so is better with this and so and so is better with that. And I like this about this person and that about that person. So it all depends.”

Of course - sometimes.

OUR FAMILY

I love this topic of favorites - because I enjoy watching the dynamics of daily life - and I like to needle people - because I sense that the issue of likes and dislikes, favorites and non-favorites is very much part of the fabric of life.

I think many modern folks are missing out on the great learnings that kids and parents can experience when they have lots of kids. And some of those learnings can come from comparisons and favorites or perceived favorites. Of course, how many kids people have has lots of different issues going on.  Moreover, this issue can be learnt and felt in classrooms and teams and Thanksgiving and what have together with cousins.

How many parents learn how to parent from that first and second child and the third and fourth have it so much easier. Yet the oldest have some of the raw material for different types of growth than the youngest.

In our family, my sister Peggy was my dad’s favorite. And just last week I heard my sister Mary say, “I was certainly not the favorite.”

In our family we joked that my brother was my mom’s favorite - as is true for many first sons in an Irish Catholic family. Is that true for Italians or Filipinos? I don’t know. Or is every family different?

We all have heard Leo Tolstoi’s comment in his novel, Anna Karenina, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Anna Kerenina, [1875-1877], pt. I, Chapter I. Is that true? I don’t know. Read the book to see what he means.

We were a happy family, but I was either the 3^rd or 4^th out of 4 favorite.

TODAY’S READINGS

I began thinking about this today for this homily because it’s one of my favorite topics and it’s an issue loud and clear in today’s readings.

In today’s first reading from the first Book of Samuel, a man named Elkanah had two wives: Hannah and Peninnah.  What would that be like? What’s it like in a harem? [Cf. 1 Samuel 1:1-8]

Today’s text says that he liked and loved Hannah more than Peninnah - but it was Peninnah who gave him sons and daughters and it was Hannah who didn’t have any kids. Did you hear what today’s text says, “Her rival - [that is Peninnah] to upset her [that is Hannah] - turned it into a constant reproach to her that the Lord left her barren.”

Woo! What would that be like?

It’s the stuff of the Scriptures - family dynamics.

And in today’s gospel Jesus calls 4 men - Peter, Andrew, James and John. [Cf. Mark 1: 14-20]

Obviously Andrew would be the best, but Jesus made Peter and John his favorites - and John in the gospel of John is called the Beloved - and sat next to Jesus at the Last Supper.

Were the others jealous?  Did any of this nag Judas?

CONCLUSION

Just some stuff to think about.

Maybe there is some stuff about growing up - that is still lingering  - that we could look at and laugh.

Maybe we do some needling that hurts others.

Now as to favorite priests, we now have Father Bob - sitting right here with us today - who will be your favorite in 6 months and you’ll ask him to do everything. Right!