FATHER  OF  FIVE

[Last week I had 7 homilies - so I needed a change of pace. It's Father's Day - so I decided on writing a story. That's something I like to do. It's Father's day and since my dad had 4 kids, I put on the top of a page, the words, "Father of Four." Then I read today's gospel story for the 12th Sunday in Ordinary Time - Year B. I'ts about Jesus and his disciples dealing with a storm on the lake.  Then I went to bed and got up early to finish the story - not knowing what the story would be. I like doing that. While writing I saw that I wanted to write about someone facing a storm in life - and then praying for faith to get through the storm and get to other side of the pain. After I told this story, I realized I have to read it again myself - to see what is going on in my unconscious - the purpose of a story. So once more the title of my story is, "Father of Five" and for some reason in the morning I switched to 5 kids.]

He was the father of five: 2 sons - 3 daughters.

Every Father’s Day - after the tragedy - was a big day for him - as well as Mother’s day - because he was also Mr. Mom.

His wife, Judy, died in an automobile accident a good 12 years now - when their youngest, Timmy, was only 2.

At first Jack was beside himself….

Obviously ….

“Beside” was the right word…. because when Judy was killed - mid-March - 12 years ago - because of black ice - he found himself - outside himself - beside himself - unable at first to get back inside himself.

That morning - Judy had bought a delicious dark chocolate - 7 layer cake -  for Jillian - their second oldest. It was her 13^th birthday. At the bakery she assumed she had enough birthday candles for the cake. She had seen birthday cake candles hundreds of times - right there  in the  top drawer next to the sink - in the kitchen - along with scissors, scotch tape, a meat thermometer, a book of matches, and two dozen other things - like ribbons and rubber bands and plastic potato chip bag clips.

When she went into the kitchen after supper, when she took the cake out of the white bakery box, she discovered, there were no candles. Someone must have thrown them out after the last birthday.

No use causing a problem. She quickly  put on her winter coat. She quickly opened the dining room door - and yelled in, “Ooops I forgot something. Hang on. Will be right  back in 5 quick minutes. “

They had no chance for a reply. She yelled in her last comment, “Jack …. Kids, talk to each other.”

She was thinking, “You can’t have a birthday cake without candles. You can’t skip the classic ritual of blowing out the candles.”

There was a Dollar Store just a block away - on the other side of the big double lane street their house was on. She had seen those tiny birthday cake candles there just last week when she stopped in to see if they had any dollar Get Well - as well as Birthday Cards.

As she backed out of their driveway onto their street, she saw a dump truck, moving towards her - faster than she expected.

She stepped on the gas. Black ice. She hadn’t seen the black ice. She spinned - skidded - and the car went sideways. The dump truck plowed right into her.

Jack and the kids didn’t hear a thing.

But they heard the sirens 7 minutes later.

As Jack opened the front door - he could see the flashing lights down the street from their house. Except for Timmy and Jenny their youngest 2 - they stood on their cold front sidewalk wondering - “What happened?”

It hit Jack right then and there, “Oh no,” he screamed and ran towards the dump truck and the car.

It was their car - crushed and crashed into.

It was Judy.

He saw the rescue squad working on Judy in the front seat.

He sensed before the police holding him back could say anything, that Judy - the love of his life was dead.

His head slumped. A policeman had to hold him as tears and pain and stifled screams were being blurted out of his mind and mouth.

“Ooops, the kids! What about the kids?” came his loud scream.”  He had 5 kids he had to get to. He ran back towards their house - with his 3 kids on their front lawn.

He said to Mary his oldest. “It’s mom! Take the kids into the house. Mary hold onto each other there.”

Then he ran back to the crash.

The policeman seeing Jack running back said, “It’s not good. Not good. We got to get her to the hospital fast. But it doesn’t look good.”

Jack said, “Let me tell Mary - to take care the kids - and I’ll be right, right back.”

He ran back and told Mary, “Call grandma. Call Holy Family Church and tell them we need Father Max at the hospital for mom. And I’ll call you right back - as soon as we get to the hospital.”

Jack ran back and got into the ambulance - just in time. The police man was planning on taking Jack - if the ambulance had taken off for the hospital without him.

Jack knew when he held Judy’s hand in the speeding ambulance - that it was too late - but he didn’t say it. He was praying, praying, praying big time.

He didn’t hear the screaming sirens in the rush.

The hospital was only 7 minutes away.

They rushed her into an emergency room.

Jack knew it was too late.

Father Max got there in 10 minutes.

In the meanwhile the doctor came out and told Jack, “It was too late. She didn’t make it. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.”

Father Max went in with Jack and anointed Mary and both prayed over her big time.

He asked Jack about who’s home and for their number.

Father Max called Mary and told her that mom had passed away.

She told him that Grandma and mom’s sister were there on their way.

“Good,” said Father Max. “Sorry Mary. Be strong for your brothers and sisters and you dad will be back as soon as possible - within the hour I hope.

Father Max didn’t know how long the next would take. He knew that there would be papers to fill out - phone calls to make - and what have you.

Then Father Max made an executive decision.

He handed his car keys to Jack and said, “You have to get home. You have to be with your kids.”

He lead Jack out to the parking lot,  and said, “Get home - quick - and watch the ice.”

Jack got back - and got into the house.

Everyone clung to each other and cried with each other.

There was no dark chocolate birthday cake that night.

There were no candles of light in their hearts and minds either.

It was one of the biggest funerals at Holy Family Church in years.

Father Max picked for the gospel, Mark 4: 35-41.

It was the story of the violent storm on lake and Jesus said, “Let us cross to the other side.”

Father Max told Jack and his kids and everyone there - that he didn’t want to preach - that he didn’t want this funeral - that nobody wants to be here - but here we are.

In his homily, Father Max continued, “We’ve got to get to the other side of this - the other shore - to the other side of this storm - this tragedy. We have all these screams and shrieks within and we have to hear Jesus say, ‘Quiet! Be still.”

“It’s going to take time - lots of time - losing your wonderful mom and wife and sister, and friend Judy - but Jesus is telling us, ‘Yes, we’re terrified - but we have to have faith.’ Jesus is telling the winds and crashing sea within us, to calm down.”

Father Max concluded, “We’re all in this boat together - and sometimes - many times - it will seem that if Jesus is with us - it seems that he’s asleep. Wake him up when you need to!”

It took time - lots of time - for Jack and his five kids to move on - to reach the other shore.

Jack told friends - but not that first Father’s Day - that after that horrible March - that he thought he knew about what a father was after having their first daughter Mary - or after their fifth kid Timmy.

He told them, that it was long after Judy’s death - long afterwards when they felt healing - scars hardening - peace flowing through their blood.

If asked, Jack - and the kids - as they were growing up would say, “Little things helped. Little moments helped. Going to church together…. Going to the cemetery alone or with each other…. We know that a death like mom’s could cause us to lose our faith. Laughter slowly returned to our home. home - slowly.

Jack added, “Moving helped. We had to get off that street - it reminded us too much of that bad night.”

“And yes”, Jack said, “Dark chocolate cake - 7 layer chocolate cake - with one candle - we have one every celebration in memory of mom - as well as today, Father’s Day.”

[Picture on top by Ludolph Backhuysen]