FATHER   JONAH 

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Father Jonah.”

This will be a story I made up yesterday for today’s Mass. It will bounce a thought triggered from today’s first reading.

Sometimes I like to write a story – coming out of the readings – as a change of pace.

First, I better give a brief introduction.

Last week at our province chapter or meetings – which were held in New Jersey, different guys were asked to write a morning prayer to capture the day ahead of us. Since it was around Martin Luther King Jr’s. day,  I wrote a short prayer – entitled, “Envision” - based on the theme of envisioning – as in “I have a dream”.

I had noticed the brand name of the toilet paper used at the retreat house was “Envision.” I assumed that everyone would notice the brand name of the toilet paper they were using – but they didn’t.

My mistake.

So I wrote a prayer with the theme of Envisioning our future. If we don’t, if we don’t clearly flesh out our vision  on paper – we’re in trouble. 

The prayer didn’t float – because very few noticed the brand name of the toilet paper.

A few guys who noticed the connection – said it was a clever prayer.

However, it wasn’t my plan or purpose to be clever. I wanted to write a prayer that would have impact.

I think too many of our sermons and too many of our prayers are repeats – hand-me-down’s – left-overs – rehash jobs.

Afterwards, I thought, maybe I should have had a roll of Envision toilet paper and hold it up as a prop - as I began my prayer at the beginning of that day’s meetings.

I didn’t.

As I thought of writing a story for this Sunday – it hit me: avoid making that same mistake I made last week.

So in writing a story called, “Father Jonah,” I thought to myself: give a short background to the story of Jonah the Prophet – and then tell my story about this imaginary priest: Father Jonah.

JONAH THE PROPHET

There’s a whole book in the Bible called, “The Book of Jonah.”

You know some of the story – especially the part about Jonah in the belly of the whale. You heard some of that book in our first reading.

It too isn’t a true story. It’s a parable. It’s a story with a message.

People who are literalists, when it comes to Bible stories, often don’t get the point of the story – or they throw away the whole Bible – and religion - as being unscientific and all that - because of certain Bible stories.

Literalists get it when someone says, “It was raining cats and dogs” – that it doesn’t mean cats and dogs were falling from the sky – even if  Father Tizio put a pun in the bulletin, “It was raining cats and dogs and I just stepped  in a poodle.” 

But literalists don’t see it as poetry and exaggeration when the Bible in the Book of Joshua 10:13 tells us that the sun stood still – or in 2 Kings 20: 9  that  shadows could go forward or backwards for 10 steps.

All this is the stuff of poetry and  parables and folk tales – in which animals and trees, donkeys and wolves, talk.

We get it in Aesop’s Fables and the Grimm Brothers’ Fairy Tales – but not in the Bible. 

There are many ways to teach wisdom.

Let me now get to the story of Jonah. It goes like this.

Jonah – an Israelite - gets a message from God – to go to the city of Nineveh – and preach to the people there – the Assyrians – enemies of the Israelites – to repent – to change.

Jonah – upon hearing this message - quickly heads for the docks and takes a boat to go in the opposite way. It doesn’t matter that Assyria was far inland.

A big storm at sea hits the boat. Everyone is in a panic. The boat is about to break up. Every sailor takes out a statue of their god – that they carry with them for safety and security. They also lighten the boat by throwing cargo overboard.

Meanwhile Jonah goes below deck and falls asleep. The captain comes to him and asks him to pray to his god for their safety.

Next they picked lots to see whom to blame for the storm. It’s Jonah. He says he’s a Hebrew. He says he worships God. They knew he was escaping his God. He must have told someone what he was doing. They threw Jonah into the sea – made some sacrifices -  and kept praying  to their gods. You know the old saying, “There are no atheists in fox holes.” Well, in this story, there is nobody who doesn’t pray in a storm at sea.

They prayed and prayed. The storm stops. All are saved.

Back to Jonah lost at sea. A huge fish swallows Jonah. He’s inside the big fish for 3 days. Once more – don’t take this literally.

Next, the Book of Jonah gives us the prayer Jonah said while inside the fish. Talk about writing your own prayer. Well, after 3 days the big fish burps Jonah up on a beach near Assyria.

Once more Jonah is told by God to go to Nineveh and tell the people they have 40 days to repent – otherwise they will be  destroyed  - along with the city. Jonah heads into the city of Nineveh – which has so many people – and is so big – that it takes 3 days to walk through the city.  

The people immediately repent. They fast and pray – put on ashes – they put on sackcloth. Notice this is a great reading for Lent: ashes, fasting, praying – and 40 days.

Jonah still is not satisfied with having been called by God to be a preacher.

He escapes into the desert  and is angry with God for saving these heathen. He spots a gourd plant – that sprouts up immediately. It gives him food and liquid. The next day he wakes up but the gourd plant had died – which gets him even more angry with God, Well, God then expresses his anger with Jonah. God says, “Hey you had nothing to do with creating this plant – and I provided it for you. Moreover, I just saved 120,000 people – and you get angry and concerned with a small plant dying and you show little awareness or concern about 120,000 folks being saved.

That’s the basic story. What’s your take on it?

Now here’s my  short story. What’s your take on it?

FATHER JONAH

Father Jonah never wanted to be a priest. He didn’t intend upon becoming a priest – but that’s what he became – rather reluctantly.

When he was in high school – and then in college – about 10 people said, “You’d make a great priest.”

That message bugged and bugged him. In fact, when he finished college he headed right for the marines – to get away from church, people, friends.

In Vietnam – at least 5 people said, “You’d make a great priest.”

And he heard that voice in his head at night – while scared – when he heard bombs bursting.

At times he wished he was killed by a bomb or something.

When he was getting out of the marines, his commanding officer – a Catholic - and his chaplain – both separately said to him, “Did you ever think of becoming a priest?”

That did it – he wanted to get married – and married as soon as possible.

He met a great gal named Judy. Great names for a couple. Judy and Jonah.  They fell in love. He proposed to her.  She reluctantly said, “Yes,”

However, she said to him 4 months before they were to be married, “I can’t do this. I think you’re called to be a priest.”

This broke him apart. He felt like a man lost at sea. He headed to Europe – to Paris – to Berlin. He dated several other girls. None was the right girl for him – like Judy who had a dream, “Let him go. He needs to be a priest.”

Backpacking across Europe for 3 years - nothing satisfied him. Nothing in life made sense to him. He had stopped going to church. He stopped believing in God. His inner belly – his inner mind – felt crazy.

One day In London he stopped into a church – just by accident. The church was there. Why not give it a try? It was a Friday afternoon. He was just sitting there in this church – angry with God.

Surprise – a little old lady – one of those little old afternoon in a church old ladies – came over to him. She said, “I’ve been sitting here in church for the past few hours and I noticed you were crying. And I felt a nudge from God to go over to you and ask you, “Did you ever think of becoming a priest?”

“No! Not again,” he screamed.

He ran out of church – bought a plane ticket back home to the states – and saw his parents and family once again.

He told his old girlfriend – who was married now – about what happened – and she said, “Well, maybe you should try becoming a priest.”

So he went to his old church – asked to see a priest – and the priest there said, “Well, after hearing all that, maybe you should try becoming a priest.”

Surprise. He became a priest. He was a horrible preacher. They almost dropped him from the seminary – listening to his practice homilies or sermons – but various seminary teachers – the ones who make judgments about who was to stay and who was to leave, said, “There’s something about this guy. There’s something about this guy, with the name of Jonah.”

He became a priest and remained a priest for the rest of his life.

Father Jonah remained a horrible preacher – but every time he heard a reading from the short book in the bible, called the Book of Jonah, he knew why God called him. He learned from many experiences with people, that God is the preacher – God is the message – God is the giver of the Spirit – and don’t get in the way of God.

Surprise – the church was packed for his funeral. People who saw the obit in the paper came from all the different parishes he had been stationed.

After Mass different people started talking to each other.

Everyone basically said the same thing.  “Father Jonah could be a cantankerous man. Well, he mellowed a bit in his old age – but there was that one thing about him that hit me.  He would say – and say it often – 'A lot of things happened to get me back to church and into the priesthood.' I don’t know about you, but when I heard that about him, that’s what got me back to church.”

Then they would pause - and then say, “Thank You, God. Thank you, Father Jonah.”