STOP  GRINDING YOUR TEETH

[The following is a story I wrote this afternoon. Today’s gospel story has an unhappy ending. I decided to rewrite Jesus’ story – and give it a happy ending. The title of my story is, “Stop Grinding Your Teeth.”]

He was sitting there in the dentist’s chair and he felt anger regurgitating and burping up out of his gut.

Inwardly, he was yelling in loud – to himself – nobody could hear him – neither the dentist nor the dentist assistant. “Why do they always tell me, ‘You have to learn to stop grinding your teeth.’ I’ve been hearing that all my life – from my mom, from my older brother, from everyone. Stop grinding your teeth.”

They told him he was doing it at his baptism – grinding the few tiny teeth that he had at the time.

They told him he was doing it at his first birthday. 

They told him he was doing it at his second birthday.

His mom – who could read her 5 children’s minds – three girls and two boys - by reading their faces – wondered, “Was it because he didn’t get a chance to blow out his candle at his baptism, at his first birthday, at his second birthday?”

She answered her own question, “No that’s too early!”  But early on – she would often be saying, “Robert stop grinding your teeth.”

He did it when he didn’t get an end piece of square or rectangular cake – wanting a piece of cake with frosting on both sides.

Is that why mothers buy round birthday cakes?

He ground his teeth – whenever he was angry – whenever he didn’t get his own way.

He ground his teeth when he didn’t get the seat he wanted in kindergarten.

He ground his teeth because his brother got the bottom bunk of their bunk bed – in the room – the boys’ bedroom - which he shared with his older brother. He didn’t like being stuck way up there near the ceiling – with the possibility of falling off into the dark.

He ground his teeth every time he had to go to bed before his older brother and his two older sisters. He didn’t notice that his younger sister had to go to bed before him. She was in the girls bedroom with her two older sisters.

His mom and dad worried about him. He always seemed to be angry.

He always seemed to be saying, “Not fair. Not fair. Not fair.”

He ground his teeth – when he felt a deep sense of unfairness – when he never got a TV show that he wanted.

He never saw his own  gifts at Christmas – only the gifts his siblings got. They always lucked out – getting the gifts they wanted.

Obviously this worried his dad – as well as his mom. They would talk about Robert from time to time.

His mom would talk to other moms about him. She was worried.

“Not to worry,” most other mom’s at the playground – as well as his teachers. “He’ll get over it as he grows older.”

Every time he went to the dentist – they would notice that “Robert seems to be grinding his teeth too much.” 

“I know” his mom would say, “but do you have any suggestions on what to do about it?”

The dentist suggested getting a special mouth guard that he was told to wear during sleep – during the night.

He didn’t like that mouth guard.  “My older brother doesn’t have to wear one while he sleeps, but I do. Not fair, not fair, not fair.”

So when the lights went out, when no one was looking, he would put it under his pillow – and grind his teeth – inwardly arguing about something else he found very unfair.

When he played Little League baseball and Pop Warner football, he never made the starting team. “Unfair. Unfair. Unfair.”

In high school, he never got A’s – only B’s and C’s – always thinking that teachers have favorites and obviously I’m not one of them.

He continued to grind his teeth – angry and frustrated with the unfairness of his existence.

His parents – but more his dad – worried about Robert – and the lack of smiles that appeared on his face. He was sculpting his own face – by his own thoughts – and putting on a happy face didn’t seem to be on his agenda.

Dentist after dentist kept telling him, “Stop grinding your teeth.”

He got through college – which he thought was not the thing he really wanted to do – but because his brother and two older sisters went – he went.

He didn’t like that life had too many have to’s and not many want to’s.

After college – with a business degree – he got a job in sales – selling furniture to small furniture stores and out lets.

Part of his salary was set and part of it was based on a percentage of what he sold. Needless to say: he ground his teeth when he heard the boss praising the salesman of the week or salesman of the month – for their hard work and plenty of sales.

“Unfair, unfair, unfair,” he thought inwardly, “The boss always gives his favorites the best stores and the best referrals.”

So there he was in the dentist’s chair.

He had work to be done on his teeth.

The dentist – like every other dentist – told him, “You have to stop grinding your teeth.”

But he had been hearing that message all his life – so he said to himself, “So what else is new.”

The dentist said, “I have to give you a needle for this back tooth here. It will hurt for a second – and we’ll be back in 5 minutes – after it takes effect.”

They both took off their rubber gloves.

Robert closed his eyes and just sat there – motionless.

Suddenly after hearing at least 10,000 “Stop grinding your teeth” messages he finally said to himself, “I guess I better stop grinding my teeth.”

And surprise that’s exactly what Robert started to do.

He stopped grinding his teeth and surprise, “The first real smiles he ever smiled started appearing on his face.”

Surprise his older brother asked him if he would be God-Father to his first child.

Surprise  his boss gave him some good stores to visit.

Surprise – he started to get sales.

Surprise – his mom and dad and 4 siblings said behind Robert’s back, “Did you notice Robert. It seems that he’s finally happy . What happened?”

He met a gal named Janet – who said to him, “Robert you have such a great smile. How come no girl didn’t gobble you up before this.”

They married. They have 5 kids – and every kid has this great smile and Robert often hears, “The apple never falls that far from the tree!”

And when he hears that - he smiles his great smile – while showing his teeth.