LIFE-CHANGING 

QUESTIONS

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 20th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Year C, is, “Life-Changing Questions.”

Question: Has anyone ever asked me a life-changing question?

FATHER JAMES CONNELL

I never heard that question till I recently noticed it in an article on the back page of the National Catholic Reporter. The article was entitled, “Asking a Life-Changing Question.” [NCR, July 19-Aug. 1, 2013, p. 26]

The article tells the story of Father James Connell. In 2010 he was the vice chancellor of the archdiocese of Milwaukee.  He was publically accused of complicity in protecting abusive priests.

He said he was deeply stung by the accusation - which he denies.

The article then reported that Father Connell - instead of lashing out at the accuser, an abuse victim named Peter Isely, who was abused by a priest, - he asked himself a question: “What if I had been a victim of sexual abuse by a priest?”

He reported: that question changed his life.

He began meeting with Peter Isely and he began trying to clean up the mess in his diocese. He discovered that dioceses talk to lawyers more than the abused. He faced the clergy protecting one another culture - on the right and on the left.

One conclusion in the article: “One wishes someone would find the appropriate wall in the Vatican on which to affix the sign: It’s the culture stupid!”

As I read all this, I made a jump in my mind and said to myself: “Self interest runs the world!”

Now that's a bumper sticker statement. If the car in front of me at a red light said that, would I begin to agree or disagree with it?

STARTING WITH SELF

Now if self interest runs the world, I would assume the best place to start would be with self - to walk down the halls of self and read the handwriting on the walls of myself. What are my real rules on how I’m living life  - or killing time and life - scratched on my inner walls - the rules I might not even be aware of - that I go by?

Next thought: does the answer to how we see what's running our world depend on the view of the beholder - whether one is an optimist or a pessimist? Do I see the cup of life half full or half empty? Do I tend to spot the positive or the negative in others - as well as myself?

Or is the best answer to all this, the one from the Talmud, that says: “Teach thy tongue to say I do not know?”

I don’t know, but I do want to know more about life-changing questions?  I would think that is better than walking down the halls of self in the dark. That’s blindness. That gets us -  into wanting to sit down in some dark room along that dark hall - in a Lazy Boy or Lazy Girl chair. That’s self inertia. That’s self laziness. That’s self interest.

So maybe self interest does run the world. Maybe that’s what Jesus is getting at in all his statements about dying to self - being that wheat seed that dies - that is planted in the earth so that it might grow - so that it might become bread - become Eucharist - become us - so that we might then hit the road - accept the cross - be on the the Way and by the way - to stop to help our neighbor along the Way.

So I don’t know. I have to think about all this. 

In the meanwhile, let me start with self - and possible life changing questions - questions that would be smart to face, face to face, in the mirror?

MAKE A LIST OF QUESTIONS

Here's some homework. Please think about your life - and see if you can come up with some life-changing questions that have hit you.

Here are some of my questions for starters:

What is my most important interest in life? What do I want? What am I really interested in? What are my dreams? What gives me bliss? What do I inwardly scream about - when the opposite is happening - or nothing is happening?

Am I happy to be in the skin, at the age, in the house, in the job, in the family, in the marriage, in the church, with the face I got and the story I’m in right now?

What have I done with my life so far? Where am I right now? What’s next? What do I want to do with the rest of my life?  What do I want to do this afternoon, tonight  and tomorrow?

What about those around me? What’s it like - really like - to be in their shoes - in their skin - in their situations? What are their joys and exaltations? What is their answer to the blank at the end of the question: “I am happiest when _______?” What are their inner gripes and snipes and inner screams? What are their expectations? What are their expectations of me?

A man in Ohio told me that for 23 years of his marriage he would drive home from work and wished the porch light would be on for him - but she never turned it on to welcome him home. 

I asked, “Well, why didn’t you tell her?” 

He answered, “Then I would say to myself, ‘She put it on because I told her to put it on’ and then it wouldn’t count - [pause] - as much as - if she put it on because she wanted to let me know she’s glad I’m almost home.” 

I asked him: “Well,  what do you do to let her know you’re home and you were dying to get home to be with her?” Or, “Okay, she’s not Tom Bodett, leaving the light on for you as in the Motel 6 ad, but what does she do to let you know she loves you and she’s glad you’re home? Is there anything you’re missing?”  

I got no answer to these questions. 

However, maybe they became life changing questions long after we talked. I don’t know.

Hey, it's many years ago when I heard that story, but I still remember that man and his desire for that light being lit on his porch as he came up his street.

Does God have a plan for me?  If God does, how specific is it? How particular is it?  If we talk to God about this stuff in prayer - say for example - taking a nice walk around 8 in the evening with our self and God - do we get answers? If we get answers, how do we know they are God’s answers?

Does anyone ever ask me what I want - where I’m at - how I’m doing - and they really are interested in my comments and figurings?

What’s it like to be at the Supermarket and the bill is enormous and money is tight and we’re nervous about our job - and our finances - and it looks like someone is getting a ton of stuff with food stamps - and we’re thinking, “What’s wrong with this picture?” But we don’t want to one of life’s complainers - and others are saying, “Oh no not again - with that conversation and those comments? No!”

What’s it like to be out of work and stuck and we have to ask for food stamps and for help?

LIFE CHANGING QUESTIONS

I framed those questions in such a way - so as to bring them back to self - to my way of thinking or not thinking - for more self awareness.

We’re surrounded by people. There are over 6 billion of us on the planet. And everyone has their own personal radio station broadcasting in their own brains - listening their own tunes and speeches - even though everyone seems to be plugged into all kinds of devices.

Do we know their inner sounds and signals?

Do we know our own?

Today’s gospel - Luke 12: 49-54] has Jesus telling us that he came to light a fire under us - not to bring peace - but the sword of division. At other times Jesus will tell us that he came to bring peace - and repentance and revision. [Cf. Matthew 11:28-30; John 20:20.]

Does it all depend on what we need now - where we are right now?

Is there a life changing question that would challenge us to change our life - to get us to move in a more radical way of doing life - a way of life that our family and neighbors might say of us, "He's crazy!” [Cf. Mark 2:21]

That’s what those who began following Christ experienced from family and neighbors and friends. They were thought to be crazy - and Christ’s way of doing life split some families right down the middle - three against two - two against  three.  

Sometimes to speak up or to change - to be into God - can get us in trouble - like Jeremiah in today’s first reading. He was put in a hole or pit or cistern - into a pile of mud - in hopes of silencing him - and eventually killing him.  [Cf. Jeremiah 38: 4-6, 8-10]

He lucked out because someone came to his rescue.

MOVING TOWARDS A CONCLUSION

Today’s second reading from Hebrews has the image of the runner in a race. She or he has their eye on the goal ahead - and nothing is going to stop them - and Christ is that Goal. Keep our eyes on him. [Cf. Hebrews 12:1-4]

What’s the goal? What do I see as the finishing line? Maybe that’s the life changing question?

CONCLUSION

The title of my homily is, “Life-Changing Questions.”

This has been an easy homily. It’s mostly questions.

And last night after the 4:30 Mass a couple said to me, “The answer is easy: the life changing question is: ‘Will you marry me?’”

I laughed. However, after that - I still think it’s good to look at the life-changing question. The question is easy. Coming up with the answer is the challenge. 

Then the really hard part stares us it in the face. It's twofold: the answers to the question and then the actions - the changes I have to make after that.

I hope this homily turned one light on inside your house. I know reading that article entitled “Asking a Life-Changing Question” did for me.