ICHTHYOLOGIST

[The following is a story for this morning's Kids' Mass - 3rd Sunday after Easter - C.]

ICHTHYOLOGIST

The third grade teacher, Mrs. Bridlepath, wasn’t surprised when Theodore said,  he wanted to be an ichthyologist when he grew up.

The principal was visiting Mrs. Bridlepath’s third grade classroom, so to impress the principal, she asked the kids to tell what they wanted to be when they grew up.

Once more 11 of the 26 kids in the third grade - said they planned on becoming veterinarians. Once more those 11 were all girls. The boys said they were going to be football players, lacrosse players, engineers, U.S Navy Seals, Nascar Drivers, etc. It was then that, Theodore said his dream was to become an ichthyologist.

At a coffee break Mrs. Bridlepath and the principal, Mrs. Thistle were talking about Theodore. “Interesting choice” said Mrs. Thistle the principal, “but just what is an ichthyologist?”

“Oh,” said Mrs. Bridlepath, the third grade teacher, “it’s a person who knows and studies all about fish.”

Mrs. Bridlepath added - that every summer Theodore’s parents try to take Theodore and his older sister Teresa, who wants to be a soccer player, to a different aquarium. Mrs. Bridlepath added, “I didn’t know there were so many different aquariums around the country.” She only knew of the one in Baltimore, Camden New Jersey and the one in New York at Coney Island. Now she knew, because of Theodore, there over 100 of them, and he hoped to see all of them before he hit 21 years of age.

Mrs. Bridlepath told the principal: “That’s all he’s really interested in.”

Theodore had a small fish tank - that held 20 gallons of water in his room - and a big tank - that held 55 gallons of water in their basement. “Watching the fish in there,” Theodore said, “was better than watching people on a big screen TV.”

Theodore used five dollar or twenty dollar bills he got from aunts and uncles - grandmas and grandfathers - to buy tropical fish for his tanks.

He knew all there was to know about fish in his brain - and in large collection of books about fish in his room.

As he grew up - teachers tried to get him to think outside of the fish tank - telling him there were many other careers and jobs he could try.

However, Theodore’s mind was made up - quoting statistics about the world being 71% water and that there were over 30,000 different species of fish. He said there were jobs for ichthyologists in food industries, marine biology, aquariums, and in teaching, etc. etc. etc.

Time went on. Theodore’s regular name switched to Teddy for most people. He got to love sports - and studies in other stuff  than fish - but he kept his dream alive to be an ichthyologist. He still loved to visit aquariums and read up about fish. He loved to surf the waves at the ocean as well - becoming very good at that as well.

His sister Teresa - Teri - became a violinist - and now plays for the Boston Symphony Orchestra - is married - and she and her husband Tom have 4 kids - one of whom has a small fish tank - with 4 gold fish - and he too says when he grows up, “I am going to become an ichthyologist.”

Theodore - or Teddy - didn’t become an ichthyologist. Surprise. He became a priest - to the surprise of everyone. 

Mrs. Bridlepath and Mrs. Thistle went to his first Mass. Mrs. Bridlepath didn’t say, “I always knew he’d be a priest.” Mrs. Thistle said, “I thought he was going to be a - what was that word again, “An ichthyologist” said Mrs. Bridlepath.

Then in his first Mass sermon they found out what happened. Father Teddy chose as his Gospel reading for that first Mass the story in the gospel of John about the morning Jesus told his disciples where to cast their nets. They were fishing all night long and had caught nothing.  They cast their fishing nets just where Jesus told them to toss them and surprise: their nets were filled with fish - almost to breaking point.

When they brought their nets to shore they counted their fish - large ones - 154 fish.  Teddy said when he heard that for the first time - he realized Jesus was interested in catching fish.  Then he told everyone in church that morning - "That was the beginning." He told everyone that Jesus - a carpenter - switched his career to becoming a fishermen - to catch men and women to follow him.

He added that Jesus called fishermen to  become fishers of people - and they switched their jobs to become preachers - then with a smile - so I switched my career in ichthyology to becoming a priest.

His parents were sitting there thrilled in the first bench in church - with wonderful smiles on their  faces - and small golden pins on their lapels - that Father Teddy gave them - small golden pins with the image of a fish on them - the symbol of Christians.

His sister Teresa - was sitting off to the side - crying -  with her violin in hand - with 15 members of the Boston Symphony Orchestra who were playing at the Mass - and Father Teddy said, “So I guess it’s good to ask kids what they want to be when they grow up - but you never know? Look at my sister Teresa over there. She always wanted to be a soccer player - and look at her now.”

And she, the older sister, stood up, and interrupting his sermon spoke into a standing microphone, “and you wanted to be an ichthyologist” and the whole church laughed and clapped.

And after the clapping, Father Teddy said back at her from his microphone, “I did become one! Look at all the fish in church this morning whom I caught to come to my first Mass today. Amen!”

And everyone clapped again.