IT’S EASIER TO SAY, 

“I LOVE YOU!” 

THAN TO LOVE YOU! 

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this Fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time C is, “It’s Easier to Say, ‘I Love You!’ Than to Love You.”

As I thought about today’s readings - especially today’s famous reading from St. Paul - the one on love - love is this and this and it’s not this and not that - I said, “Do a homily on Love!”

MAYOR ED KOCH

You might have seen on the news or in the newspapers that the famous mayor of New York City just died. As I read the obituaries I noticed that the obit writers pointed out that he liked publicity. What I liked about him was his question: “How am I doing?”

I'm sure you've seen requests in restaurants - asking people to fill out a short questionnaire about the restaurant. They want feedback. “How was the food? How was the service? How clean were the bathrooms? How was the waiter and waitress?"

The Christian calling is to love and to serve one another.  How are we doing at that?

The Christian knows the great commandment: to love the Lord our God with our whole heart, mind, soul and strength - and the second commandment is similar: to love our neighbor as ourselves.[Cf. Luke 10:25-28]

How are we doing?

SECOND READING

Today’s second reading from First Corinthians - Chapter 13 - has St. Paul’s spelling out of what love is and what love is not.

How are we doing on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, with each of the following: patience, kindness, endurance, hope, and faith?  How am I avoiding on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest with what love is not: not being jealous, pompous, inflated, rude, not rejoicing when the other makes a mistake?

If you want a good night prayer or morning prayer on how to live each day, bookmark 1 Corinthians Chapter 13. In the morning it gives a plan on how to love that day - or at night before going to bed it's a good examination of consciousness about how well we loved that day. If married, what would it be like to read that text each night out loud and talk to each other about how well we did that day? Interesting!

Love: how am I doing?

"I love you!" Am I lip syncing that or am I really loving you?

The title of my homily once again: “It’s Easier to Say, ‘I Love You!’ Than to Love You.”

We hear today’s second reading at 7 out of 10 weddings. It tells me that the couple knows love is more than saying, “I love you!”

We’ve probably heard preachers at weddings say, “If people who said, ‘I do!’ did, then more marriages would work than they do.”

At the end of today’s second reading Paul talks about looking in a mirror. Those of you who use Microsoft on your computer know about Windows 6, 7, 8 or whatever they are up to by now.  I don’t know this for sure, but I suspect Paul is talking about Mirrors # 1 here - a primitive version of a mirror - whereas we have Mirrors # 11 by now.  How many times have we looked into the mirror after taking a shower and the glass is all steamed up? I would think that’s what Paul is talking about here. Foggy Mirrors are like Mirrors # 1 - whatever they made mirrors out of in the mid 50’s - when Paul wrote his letter.

Moreover, I would think First Corinthians Chapter 13 is a great mirror. 

Next, another observation: I would assume when we look into Paul’s words about what love is and love isn’t  when we’re 24 - it’s different than when we look at those same words at 44 or 64 or 74.  What are we looking at when we're looking at First Corinthians Chapter 13?  I would hope that how we see ourselves in those words has improved since the first time we read First Corinthians 13.

After a big football game the commentators sometimes say of the losing team - for example the 49ers -  that it looks like they didn’t bring their A Game to the game today.  Or so and so did or didn’t. Imagine if a group of commentators could look at our day and comment about what we brought to the game of life that day.

I was listening to some commentators talking about pro basketball the other night. Isaiah Thomas made several nuances: the difference between the playoffs and the regular season; the other team being a top team or a bottom team; and the schedule. A team might have played horrible that night, but maybe the fact that they just played the night before enters into the picture or why they lost - while the team that won had three days off since their last game.

When it comes to love - better when it comes to being patient, kind, and not being quick tempered - sometimes our schedule is jammed packed - or we just went through something big at work or where we have been - that might make our understanding of what happened to be seen in a different light. I assume love also means understanding - and forgiveness - and discovering communicating about circumstances.

So love is tricky. Love is tough stuff. Someone said, “Some folks we click with. Some folks we cross with. Love is manifested when we love those we cross with.”

JESUS

That quote brings us right into the wisdom of Jesus. When he challenged folks with the tough love - for example the patience called for putting up with PITA people, some people walked away. When Jesus said that love means going the extra mile - giving the shirt off our back for - laying down one’s life for others - his listeners found that stuff too tough. As we heard in today’s gospel, they wanted to escort him out of town and hurl his down a hill. By the end of the gospel, they are going to march him out of the city to kill him on the cross.

CONCLUSION - LOVE: 3 STEPS

As mentioned earlier, when talking about love,  the Gospels love to feature the two great commandments:to love God and to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.

That's 3 persons to love: God, Neighbor and Self.

In reality, I think we learn to work on these three in the opposite order.

Step One: is self - learning to love oneself. Look in the mirror as the famous poem, “The Man in the Mirror” puts it. Look oneself in the eye and ask: “How am I doing?” Do I like this person called “me”? We can look at the wrinkles or the fat - but we can also stay with the eyes. They don’t wrinkle or sag - but they can be the window into the within.

Look into one’s eyes or one’s I and ask, “How am I doing?”

How old was Jeremiah - the character in today’s first reading - how did it take him to come up with his attitude that God wants me - God knows me from those months I was in the dark in my mommy’s tummy - till today - for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer. God knows and loves me. How am I doing with that one?

Does the wanted baby know that better than the “Oh no Baby!”?

Does the unwanted little screaming baby in the night - know whether he or she is wanted and loved the way the light goes on at 2 AM and the way he or she is held and fed? Has a PITA at work or school or next door or at the relative at the family picnic ever changed because of our love for them? Do students know whether this teacher or this coach really respects and loves them?

Step Two and Step Three: At some point in life we have to move out of self and take step 2 and 3 towards others. Step 2 is loving the ones we see and Step  3 is loving God who is not seen.

Read the First Letter of John about all this. He said how can we say we love God whom we cannot see when we don’t love our neighbor whom we can see.

That’s it: How am I doing?