THE FEAST OF 

THE EPIPHANY:

THE GREAT 3^RD GRADE RELIGIOUS PROJECT

Mrs. Five - Mrs. Thelma Five - was the 3^rd Grade Religious Education Teacher on Sunday Morning at the local Catholic Church.

She got the bright idea that for the Feast of the Epiphany -  the 3^RD Grade Class -  had to come up with something surprising - enlightening - bright - for the 3 gifts that Jesus was to receive at the stable where he was born in  Bethlehem. She told her 3^rd Grade Class, “That’s what the word Epiphany means!”  

She continued, “So instead of the priest preaching a homily at the Mass -  why not have 3 kids play Jesus, Mary and Joseph and 3 kids play the 3 kings or 3 Magi  or 3 Wise Men. These last three could  bring up to the stable in the church gifts different than the traditional gifts the 3 kings brought to Jesus. They would  go up to the microphone show the gift they brought for the new born baby Jesus and then explain to everyone at Mass  why they chose that gift. She asked the Director of Religious Education, Mr. Malcolm Ten, if he thought Father Zero - would go for this.

Mr. Ten - the Religious Education Director - said it would be a great idea and he was sure Father Zach Zero would also think it’s a great idea. Just to be sure, he called Father Zach Zero who said to Mr. Ten to tell Mrs. Five, “Go for it.”

Mrs. Five  had heard the joke in at lest 10 sermons that  the 3 Magi had to be men, because if they were  women, they would have brought diapers and food - and okay, gold. The gold was smart. The gold was wise. But the frankincense and the myrrh - not so smart.

So during the last class before Christmas, Mrs. Five had a discussion with her 3^rd Grade Class if they would do this and if they would,  what would be three good gifts to bring the new born baby Jesus and to Mary and Joseph.

One boy - named Byron - said, “Gold, Gold, and more Gold. That’s the 3 gifts I would have the 3 wise men bring to Jesus.”

The teacher asked, “Why Byron?”

He answered, “Well, Joseph and Mary and Jesus were heading for Egypt.  You never can tell what problems they are going to run into - so money, gold, would work anywhere and everywhere. The coins there would be different than the coins they used in Bethlehem - but gold would work everywhere.” He continued, “My father has the gold American Express Card and he says it works everywhere!”

The teacher, Mrs. Thelma Five said, “Good. Good thinking Byron.” Then she asked, “Does anyone else have suggestions - for 3 gifts?”

A girl - named Jacqueline - better known as Jackie - said, “I’d suggest, three coats - or two coats and a good warm blanket for Jesus.”

“Good,” said Mrs. Five.  “Anyone else?”

“How about carpenter tools for Joseph?” said one kid named Tim, “because Joseph is going to need to get work to make a living in Egypt - and he probably left his carpenter tools up there in Nazareth when they came to Bethlehem for the census.”

“Good. Anyone else?”

A girl named Andrea, said, “I was thinking of a map and a compass and some food. They would be the most practical things for a long trip in the winter for Joseph and Mary and the new born baby.”

Richard, another kid, said, “Maps. I don’t know if they had maps back then - and they certainly didn’t have compasses - food good.”

Andrea shot back, “Are you sure they didn’t have maps back then? Are you sure they didn’t have compasses back then? Richard, when were compasses invented?”

Richard said, “Okay, I don’t know if they had maps and compasses back then, but I can’t see the 3 Magi  giving a compass and a map. Food yes.”

A hand went up from the side of the room. It was Theodore. He said, “I have my computer with me and I just looked up some stuff. They did have maps at that time. Compasses - there is evidence that there was a sort of compass like the kind we have today - being used by the Chinese around the year 1040.”

Andrea said, “Well, I was half right” - as she looked glaringly at Richard!” ‘

Theodore continued, “Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh’ the 3 gifts the Magi brought Jesus, Mary and Joseph - are not dumb. The gold certainly would be a good gift. And  Yahoo Search says that some types of frankincense were used for trade - or for medicine - or for perfume. Maybe with the donkeys and the sheep and the cows in the stable, maybe incense would be perfect to cut down on the smell.”

Everyone laughed and everyone was listening. Theodore had a way of commanding attention - when he spoke.

Theodore continued, “And Myrrh, it says on Yahoo Search, is also valuable and good for trading. It’s also used for making a salve for skin problems. Certain types are also used for medicines that can be used to cut down on bleeding - and also it has antibacterial stuff in it.”

Silence.  Some kids put on their very intelligent look - because they didn’t know what “antibacterial” meant. They thought they heard it when their parents watched the evening news sometimes - with all those ads for medicines. Evening news must be for old people who need more medicines that us kids.

Mrs. Five - Mrs. Thelma Five - was a good teacher and said, “Great Theodore. Maybe the class can bring up to the crib at the feast of the epiphany a brick painted gold - and one kid can explain that to everyone at Mass - the value of gold for trade and travel. Another kid could bring a box marked ‘Incense’ and explain that. And a third kid could bring a jar marked ‘Myrrh’ and explain its uses.”

So that’s what they agreed on and that’s what the class did for the Feast of the Epiphany - and Father Zach Zero and the parents of the 3^rd Grade Class - and Mrs. Thelma Five and Mr. Malcolm Ten thought it was an excellent sermon play done by the 3^rd graders. In fact, it was the only sermon the kids said they understood all year.

O O O O O O O 

Painting on top: Epiphany [1475-1480] by Hieronymus Bosch, in Museum of Art, Philadelphia.

The above is a story homily for our Kids Mass at St. Mary's Marian Hall for the feast of the Epiphany.  Check my blog for other Kids Stories.