I DIDN’T TURN OUT 

TO BE THE PERSON 

I HOPED TO BE

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “I Didn’t Turn Out To Be The Person I Hoped  To Be.”

Don’t we all?

That’s the thought that hit me when I read and reflected on today’s two readings - as well as today’s psalm - Psalm 8.

When we’re young, we dream - we hope - we make big plans and vast expectations for ourselves. Don’t we all? At some point - we face the wrinkled truth: I didn’t get as far as I thought I was going to get.

The marriage - good - but it could have been better. We live some more and change that “it” to an “I” as in, “The marriage - good -  but I could have been better.”

At work -  if things fell apart - or people saw through my coffee breaks or solitaire escapes - or if they saw my inadequacies and limitations -  if I was passed over - or if I lost my job, I could be deeply hurt by these ughs of life.  

Deeper and more painful there is that  day - or afternoon - or sleepless night when I realized, “I didn’t turn out to be the person I hoped to be.” "Lost time: I lost too much time!" That moment was a bummer. It was down right hurting and depressing. These moments could also teach us how to laugh at ourselves - which is an essential part of humility.

Sometimes the cake, the meeting, the conversation, the vacation, the speech, the sermon, the date, the show down - one’s life - doesn’t happen like I thought it would happen.

We might remember Judy Collins or Joni Mitchell singing the following message:

I've looked at life from both sides now
From WIN and LOSE and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

I've looked at life from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

TODAY’S FIRST READING AND TODAY’S PSALM

Today’s first reading from Hebrews - Chapter 2 - quotes Psalm 8 - that we were made a little less than the angels. That’s a very high bar!

I did a little research last night and read that the translation we have here - that we were made a little less than the angels - is from the Greek Septuagint scriptures of the Psalms. The Hebrew text of that psalm raises the bar much higher because it says we’re made “a little less than God.”

The higher the expectation, the higher the “Uh oh! Oh no!” depressive feeling we might  feel when we realize -  like Adam and Eve we didn’t reach God’s goals for us. I don’t know about you, but when I make a mistake - when I put my foot in my mouth - when I lay an egg - the only person on the planet that I’m with at that moment is me.

TODAY’S GOSPEL - MEANING  - TODAY’S GOOD NEWS

Today’s gospel - along with that first reading - point out it’s not all me - it’s not all - I, I, I. Surprise, Jesus can arrive in our village - in our mind, in our temple - and if we’re humble enough - down enough - we can celebrate being like the guy in the gospel, the guy with the unclean spirit. We can know  who Jesus Christ is and he came to be with us. Jesus can be for us  the one who fills the gaps - the one who fills the holes in our life - can understand and heal the disasters in our pages - our story.

CONCLUSION

The title of my homily is, “I Didn’t Turn Out To Be The Person I Hoped  To Be.”

If we reached 25% of our life goals - praise God - Jesus can be the other 75%. If were minus 35, Jesus can be plus 135.

When we look at our life - hopefully we can laugh more than cry.

As we’re sitting in the back seat of a limo on our way into heaven and we give our best Marlon Brando imitation: “I could have been a contender.”

When we die, others might see us entering paradise with a smile on our face and we only worked 1 hour in the vineyard - or might have been like the Good Thief - we got on the right side of Jesus just as we died. This might tick people off who got 90’s all their lives.

We can smile, because we made it. We can be like the Prodigal Son and find ourselves welcomed back home no matter what. In heaven they will even throw a party for us. We’ll sit down to eat the fatted calf with only one regret: others will be mad at God for this. Then Jesus will welcome us too and tell us not to worry about older brothers who never messed up. Surprise, they have all eternity to get the hints from Jesus about mercy and forgiveness and love.