FAMILY PROBLEMS

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 4th Tuesday in Ordinary time is, “Family Problems.”

Today’s first reading talks about Absalom who is very much part of the family problems of David: struggles, step children fighting step children, rivalries and today’s gospel talks about health problems - which happen in almost every family.

At times I’ve quoted something I heard one my nieces saying, “Every office, every work place, has someone who is not our cup of tea - to put it politely.”

Could we say, would we say, should we say, every family has some sandpaper situations and sandpaper people who rub each other the wrong way?

Could we listen to anyone talk about their family - without hearing about family health problems as well?

FIRST READING

The first reading tells the story of Absalom - the handsome son of David - the one with the great wavy hair. In yesterday’s first reading, we heard about him going after his father. Today we hear about his death on a mule - going under a large tree. His hair gets caught in the branches and the mule takes off. He’s screaming for help.

Joab - one of David’s key protectors - sees and senses an opportunity. He moves in with three pikes and thrusts them into Absalom’s chest - aiming at his heart - and killing him.

David falls apart when the news comes to him that Absalom has been killed. It’s a victory and a defeat. It’s a Good News-Bad News joke that David doesn’t see as a joke. David has lost his son - whom he had mixed emotions about.

Absalom was a strong character - wanting to overthrow his father and become king.

Earlier on Absalom waited at least two years to kill Abnon - a half brother in revenge family members who raped his sister Tamar. If your nobility, it’s hard to keep the family secrets in the closet.

William Faulkner’s novel, perhaps his best novel, is entitled, Absalom, Absalom. He writes about Tom Sutpen’s family - with its incest and its disasters, its struggles and its problems. Faulkner does what many great writers do: he takes a tragedy from the past, whether it’s in the Bible or in Shakespeare, and tells the story as it hits one family. Leonard Bernstein took Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet - a love story - as well as a tragedy that hits two families - and retells it as a musical in the setting in New York as the West Side Story.

TODAY’S GOSPEL

Today’s gospel tells the story about two women, one a young girl who is close to death - whose father comes to Jesus for help; the other a middle aged woman who has major health bleeding problems and she comes to Jesus for help.

If you’re family, expect family issues as well as health problems. And in the two stories in today’s gospel, Jesus heals these two women.

CONCLUSION

I don’t know how to conclude this homily. It’s so easy to state problems, but what’s the solution? That’s the tricky part of the story.

A first step is to tell the story.

I would assume that prayer is going to God and telling the story - saying, “Here’s what’s happening. I need help.”

I would assume that going to see a counselor or a therapist or a priest or deacon and saying the same 6 words, “Here’s the story. I need help.”

The title of my homily is, “Family Problems.”

I said the first step is to tell the story to someone: God and others. To be heard by God and others can help.

The second step is to ask for help or to be helpful and a healing presence to another.

The 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th, steps are the hard work and the struggle to make things work better - to get insights - and further steps towards healing and recovery. If it takes hundreds of mistakes or bad habits - or whatever - to get us into a problem, it often takes a lot of steps for recovery.

Communication, learning, effort, all take time.

Today - January 31st - is the feast day of St. John Bosco. He certainly learned how much presence and hard work - and personnel it takes to get and keep young people on the right path.

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Drawing on top: The Death of Absalom by Gustave Dore [1832-1883]