AWARENESS

OF THE POWER

OF BAD EXAMPLE

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this feast of the Holy Innocents - December 28 - is, “Awareness of the Power of Bad Example.”

HIGH SCHOOL RETREAT

Let me begin with by mentioning a very interesting thing that happened on a high school retreat with some of our kids.

There we were having a group discussion on the issue of teen age drinking and drugs. Sitting there listening, it triggered the memory of a meeting for parents that I attended a few years back about teenage issues. A specialist on teenage issues was the main speaker. She worked in Anne Arundel County. St. Mary’s was on average with other high schools in the country regarding teenage drinking. I was hoping we would be lower; I was glad we were not higher. The presenter had done an anonymous survey amongst our kids - and was telling parents what she saw was going on with our kids. I was also thinking about things kids have said in other discussions on this very issue.

That’s how it began - but the interesting thing that hit me didn't happen yet.

The young people first started talking about themselves. They talked about peer pressure - driving after drinking - looking for parties with booze, everybody does it, etc.

Then surprise, they started talking about how some of their parents drink too much - and also offer their kids alcohol at times. I had heard that before as well.

Now the interesting moment …. For the first time, I heard the following: these high school kids talked about how they were giving bad example with their drinking to the younger kids in our school - as well as to their brothers and sisters.

FREEZE THAT: AWARENESS OF MY POWER TO GIVE BAD EXAMPLE

I wanted to yell, “Freeze the moment!” I wanted to yell, “Great insight! Some of you are saying that you are moving from being self-centered to being other-centered.”

I didn’t because I thought the conversation was progressing very well. It was moving into possible further awareness’s they were not seeing till that moment.

I kept listening and noticed that the conversation - was opening up some mouths that were quiet till then. I sat there hoping and praying that more minds would open to deeper and further challenges.

It would be great if those moments in that discussion could be frozen and then thawed out as life moved on for them.

I am personally scared for these kids as they move on to college - where for some kids binge nights are every night.

Each of us needs to pause and examine what is the good example I’m giving - and what are the bad examples I’m giving - especially towards children.

I also hoped that they would move their words from babble to not picking up the bottle.

Example speaks louder than words.

JESUS WAS OFF ON THIS TOPIC

For starters Jesus was off on this topic - not to give bad example - especially towards children.

He said it would be better to have a mill stone tied around your neck and you’re thrown into the sea - than to have given bad example to kids. That’s a strong statement. [Cf. Mark  9:42; Matthew 18:6; Luke 17:2]

Then paradoxically - but really not - Jesus struggled to get people to go within - to walk around listening to their inner thoughts - checking out their actual attitudes - that this was more important than outward example.

He said this because the Pharisees could give good example, but in reality, it was their inside, their motives, that Jesus went after. Yes they gave good example. However, they used their example to try to manipulate people to think these Pharisees were super people.

A QUOTE

Someone said, “A good example is worth a thousand sermons.”

If that is true, and if a picture is worth a thousand words, what is the impact of bad example?

If Chinese kids speak Chinese - because that is the language they hear at home - then it’s obvious they speak the language, the tones, the attitudes, the meanings of their parents.

If the message of Christmas is that the word became flesh, then we need to realize that our words become flesh in others, especially children. Children are our words become flesh. We have the accent and the attitudes, the behavior and the being of our parents.

Today’s gospel talks about the slaughter of the Holy Innocents. In how many homes are the words of Jeremiah that we hear in today’s gospel being fulfilled because of the bad example of others - especially because of alcohol - and people are killed because of drunken drivers or alcohol poisoning?  [Cf. Matthew 2: 13 - 18; Jeremiah 31: 15]

                     A voice was heard in Ramah,
                     sobbing and loud lamentation;
                     Rachel weeping for her children,
                     and she would not be consoled,
                     since they were no more.

If the message of today’s first reading is to be aware of sin - as well as our words and impact on others - then we need to grow in awareness of the power of our example. [Cf. 1 John 1:5-2:2]

CONCLUSION

Today the feast of the Holy Innocents, my message is to be aware of our impact on children. We can kill kids by the impact of our bad example on the innocent.