THE DREAM 

AND  THE  REALITY

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 19 Friday in Ordinary Time is, “The Dream and the Reality.”

It could also be entitled, “The Ideal and the Real.”

Either way - it’s life.

We dream impossible dreams and hopefully we pull together some realities.

In the morning we plan on doing 10 things today. Hopefully, we finish at least one of them before we go to bed.

Do we look at what we accomplished or do we look at what didn’t happen?

Do we tend to see and dwell on successes or failures?

Is it a question of being an optimist or a pessimist?

“Two people looked out prison bars: one saw mud, the other saw stars.”

A couple look at their marriage: what does each of them see?

Is it a question of being able to laugh, to forgive, to accept, to understand and still to dream?

If there is no imaginary Kingdom - especially the one Jesus envisioned - we might never get out of our Lazy Boy chairsl

TODAY’S GOSPEL

Today’s gospel which centers on marriage and divorce triggered the topic and theme of this homily.

The marriage vows were crafted from experience: for better and for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do we part.

But sometimes people part - and sometimes for very good reasons: abuse, alcohol, the kids. It just didn’t work. Sorry. We were hurting each other too, too much - but especially we're hurting the kids.

I sit with couples about to be married and we go through this big long questionnaire they take. A few years back they added 4 sections - in an effort to deal with divorce before people enter into marriage. One question is: “Even if a woman or a man thinks their marriage is bad, they should keep trying to save it.” Agree, Disagree, Undecided. Sometimes someone says, “It all depends what bad is.”

THE DREAM AND THE REALITY

Am I realist or a dreamer? Does the ideal get in the way of the real?

I love the saying: “The glances over cocktails that seemed so sweet, don’t seem so sweet over shredded wheat.”

How many men and women whisper to themselves - or to another, “With that pot belly, my spouse doesn’t look as attractive as he or she looked those early years of our marriage.”

How many men and women whisper to each other - “You are looking better and better the more we are together." "Thanks for being you! I love your wrinkles." "I love your love handles!"

And so couples want to dance at their 25th and 35th and 50th wedding anniversary to the song, “Down through the years….”

CONCLUSION

In the meanwhile we need our dreams, our fantasies, our hopes, even when they are impossible, because if we don’t reach for the stars, we might never love being down to earth - with its dirt and crumble - its better and its worse, its richer and its poorer - till death do us part. Amen.