Tuesday, July 17, 2018


July 17, 2018 



Thought for today: 

“Man  transcends  death  by  finding  meaning in his life ….  It is the burning desire for the creature to count ….   What man really fears is not so much extinction, but extinction with insignificance.”  


Ernest Becker, in Thomas Peters 
and Robert Waterman, Jr., 
In Search of Excellence, 1982

Painting: Western Motel, 1957
by Edward Hopper

Monday, July 16, 2018



OTHERNESS

The title of my reflection for today is, “Otherness.”

There were options on readings for today, so I stayed clear of the readings - so one of my favorite themes hit me this morning: otherness.

What’s your take on otherness?

People are different.

Sometimes we forget that.

Sometimes the otherness of other people gets us in trouble or gives us agita or frustration.

I never take mushrooms - how about you?

I’m not a big fan of onions as well.

I think folks are lucky here at St. Mary’s Parish.

We have plenty of seats in both churches - so people can sit where they want to sit in both churches.

We have plenty of Masses - so people can pick different Masses.

We have different priests - so  people can go to different Masses - especially  on weekends - to get different takes on different readings and life.

Some parishes list who’s saying a Mass; some don’t.

We have two tables in our dining room - sometimes. It depends on who’s home - and who sits where - as well as this and that.

Some parishes have only one priest - and the next parish is too far away.

I keep in mind the saying, “1/3 of the people like you; 1/3 don’t like you; 1/3 really don’t care.”

I keep in mind the saying, “The greatest sin is our inability to accept the otherness of the other person.”

I assume that other people disagree with that. Hey I don’t know what the greatest sin is.

I like the saying, “Teach thy tongue to say, ‘I do not know.’”  Sometimes I forget that and I say to myself, “Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.”

Or “Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.”

Those are my mutterings when I forget people see differently that I see.

Sometimes twins are different - very different - even if they are dressed alike.

Some people like t-shirts with writing on them. Some people, “That’s a no no - especially in church.”

Today - July 16 - is the feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel. 

Is Mary under that title seen as different than under the title of Mary Mother of Perpetual Help or Mary of the Miraculous Medal?

I would assume people would have different takes on that question - and answers to that question.

Protestant Churches are known to split - because of differences in the community. So they end up with First Baptist on this Corner and Living Water Baptist Church 8 blocks away.

So too Islam: Sufi’s and Shiites.

So to Buddhism and Hinduism.

So too Franciscans….

Those of you who watch EWTN - probably remember Father Benedict Groeschel - whose group wore greyish blue habits.  They were a Capuchin reform movement of a reform movement in the Franciscans.  I knew him - took some of his courses. I heard he had a photographic memory. He did, but he always called me Father Anthony.  And he had a fabulous sense of humor and life.  I liked him - knew he was much sharper and brighter than me - but he also stuck pins in some my sacred balloons.

In other words I could see how different he was from me and others ….

We Redemptorists have not had too many splits.  One was the Paulist’s here in the United States.  Isaac Hecker was a convert - liked our preaching - joined us - but conflicts arose over English-German preaching, etc. etc. etc.

The Church has benefitted and blessed by and  from both groups.

People see things differently.

Sometimes people forget that.

There are at least 15  or 50 ways to make Irish Soda Bread - as well as apple pies - as well as to put potatoes on the table.

How do you like your potatoes or pasta?

There are 4 gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

I know a couple in Ohio who have 4 sons: Matthew, Mark, Luke and Sean.

Sean is Gaelic for John.

Matthew, Mark and Luke - are known as the Synoptic Gospels - because if you look at them - look as in optics - they are somewhat the same - but if you look at those 3 gospels tight - they are different - but John is very different than Matthew, Mark, and Luke.

I collect types of people: there are two kinds of people; there are 3 types of people; there are 4 kinds of people. For example, Introverts and Extraverts. There are those who put their foot in their mouth and those who put their foot to the peddle and get out of there before they say the wrong thing.

There are those who cause happiness wherever they go and those who cause happiness whenever they go.

I had a barber who was married 6 times. At his funeral they said he was married 5 times. His 6th wife told me - on the side -  after that same funeral, “I was number 6, but most don’t know that.”

Did anyone ever come up with the idea for a  TV talk show entitled, “Different Wives - Different Husbands.” I’d love to see the 6 wives of the deceased husband talk - and I’d be listening to see how similar they are.

Today we’re celebrating the feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel.

St. John of the Cross was a Carmelite - and I’ve read some of his stuff - and even written on some of his stuff.  Saint Teresa of Avila was a Carmelite and a friend of St. John of the Cross.  How are they alike and how are they different?

A classmate of mine who read St. John of the Cross in the original Spanish -  dropped in to see me, just as I had finished a newsletter on St. John of the Cross. I asked him to read  my stuff and he said, “Where did you get this stuff. This is all wrong.”

I heard him out and changed some of what I wrote.

So too St. Therese of Lisieux and St. Teresa of Avila - both Carmelites. Would they sit next to each other at table - or on a bus ride?

People are different.

Sometimes we forget that and it gets us in trouble.

What’s your take on otherness?

This is what I would say for a weekday reflection on “otherness”  - something that hit me on this feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel.  That idea probably hit me because I’m not a Carmelite and we were brought up with Our Lady of Perpetual Help. Amen.
__________________________________________________________


Picture on Top: The Virgin of the Carmelitas
July 16, 2018



WAIT  A  MINUTE!

"Wait a minute!"
"Hold on ...."
"Step back!"
"Take another look!"
"Whoa!"
"Don't judge so quickly!"
"Shush!"
"Think!"
"Listen!"
"Walk around the block!"
"Climb a mountain!"
"Get another viewing point."
"You have no idea!"
"Give it some time."
"Hey, you never know."
"Maybe there is another story."



© Andy Costello, Reflections 2018

Father William Guri
told me about this Ted Talk
I have to listen to it
ten more times - at least.

July 16, 2018



Thought for today: 


“We all basically go back to being a child when we’re in a dentist’s chair.”


Arthur Benjamin, 
Newsweek, May 5, 1986

Drawing, In the Dentist's Chair
 by Kurt Ard [1957] -
Cover of Saturday Evening
Post, Oct. 19, 1957

Sunday, July 15, 2018


*
JESUS SENT THEM OUT 
TWO BY TWO

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 15th Sunday in Ordinary Time [B] is, “Jesus Sent Them Out Two by Two.”

I would like to reflect out loud about the two by two’s in life.

It’s called  "marriage" - "companionship" -  "friendship" - "togetherness".  

Looking at life, what have been our two by two experiences?

LOOK AROUND

Looking at our life - who is or was that best friend - at school - in the playground - on Saturdays?  Who was that person we could be you with - and really enjoy the moment - whether it was catching lightning bugs or getting a beer?

I was preaching in a parish somewhere in Ohio and we were visiting the sick and the shut-in’s in the afternoon. I get to a house and meet  this mom - around 30 - who was in bed with a broken arm and two broken legs. Interesting sight. She had been in a serious skiing accident.  They had 3 small boys - and her husband was driving her crazy - not being able to handle their boys - who were running wild about the house.

What to do?

She told me she got her sister to come and help - as a -  live in help. Next she called her husband’s best friend in Buffalo and asked him if he would call her husband and say he has  2 tickets to two Buffalo Saber’s hockey games and invite him for a week. Tell him you called and got me and I said, “Great!”

She told me it worked.

If something like that happened - and someone was wondering who to call as a best friend - who would think of your name as best friend of their spouse or what have you - and then ask you to help them in a sticky or stucky problem?

I’m thinking out loud here about two’s - not selfies - but twosies.

There you are on the bus going to DC - sitting next to someone.

Who is this person you are next to?

Sometimes she or he is a stranger.  Do we talk? Do we listen to our iPhone? Do we read the paper?  Do we close our eyes and disappear?

We look out the bus window and we see two kids with packs on their backs - going down the street parallel to the bus. Will they know each other for life - or just for the day?

We see two women - maybe in their early 40’s - running together.  How long have they been doing this? A week, a month, 6 years now?

Whom do you run with?  Whom had you run with?  Whom have you walked with on the paths of life?  Where are they now?

We see a couple walking - an older couple - holding hands - walking in the park. Second marriage? Friends? Dating? 44 years married? We don’t know.

We are still looking out the bus window.  There are various people walking along alone but with various types of dogs - just the two of them. Then there  are people walking alone. There are three’s and fours and fives? People walk in different combinations.

We stop into McDonald's or Starbucks or Panera and there are 3 two’s, 4 threes, and 5 fours.

In this homily, because of the gospel, I’m asking, “Get a piece of paper or use your computer or gadget and jot down scenes from your life.  There you are with one other person - somewhere - in your past history, your past mystery. Make a life list of times and scenarios when you were with just one other person.

IT’S NOT GOOD TO BE ALONE

The Bible begins by saying, “It’s not good to be alone - so God made them male and female.”

Did God make us - because God felt alone?”

Does God feel loneliness when we drop or dump God?

Do we feel empty or lonely when we can’t sense God?

The Old Testament has a lot of two’s: Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Abraham and Sarah, Rachel and Leah, Saul and David, David and Bathsheba, and on and on and on.

When God told Noah to build that ark - it was to be with him and his wife - and family - and all the animals who were to get on that ark  two by two. Great story. Watch where you step!

The New Testament eventually tells us that God is Three - a Father and a Son and the Spirit of Love between Them.

The New Testament tells us that God sent his Son to contact us - so we can contact God - so that we can enter into the ark called God - and start sailing hopefully two by two for starters.

LIFE IS ALL ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS

The greatest part of life is relationships - family - husband and wife  - covenants - and children. Each person is unique.

Relationships mean feelings, beauty, wonder, and hurts.

Most marry - most people befriend friends.

This doesn’t mean it’s always easy.  Denise Levertov  [1923-1997], a great woman poet, in her poem, The Ache of Marriage [1964] wrote, “Two by two in the ark of the ache of it.”

Those of you who are married, “How’s it going?” Any aches and pains? What to do to improve the situation?  Many a person sitting on a bus - alone - heading for work in D.C. or wherever - is looking out the window thinking about these questions.

We’re not God.  The End doesn’t just appear at the end of movies.

Cars crash. Sometimes marriages and friendships crash.

Then there is death.

Death is a killer.

In fact without the possibility of two’s - ending - people  splitting - friends moving to Arizona  - life would not have its power and glory.

Death and divorce - that possibility - makes life and love - that possibility so powerful and so beautiful - and also so crushing.

The I needs a you - and we want the reality of love to be the word between those two words.

“I love you” - means so much - because we know - the verb in that 3 word sentence could also be “hate” or “forgot” or “ignored”.

Life is all about communion - receiving communion - receiving holy communion with each other.

Marriage, family, friendships, relationships are all basically two’s - myself and another - and that another varies. It could be me and a mom or a dad or a grandparent. It could be me and a mother-in-law, me and son or daughter, me and a niece and a nephew.

Each of us deals with the rest of us: one to one.

Shirley Jackson, in her book, Raising Demons 1956, wrote, “It has been my belief that in times of great stress, such as a four-day vacation, the thin veneer of family wears off almost at once, and we are revealed in our true personalities.”

Has that ever happened to you?

Down through the years I’ve heard folks talk about disasters between brothers and sisters happening on summer vacations together.

What have you learned about yourself and family from vacations?

Where are you right now with your one to one relationships?

What are those relationships like?

WHY THIS HOMILY

Why this homily?

One answer: I had to come up with one and today’s gospel began with Jesus sending out his disciples two by two. What did they learn from the journey?

We stop the journey for a few moments on a Sunday to see how we are doing. We come to church to be reminded we are called to love one another.  We come to hear prophets challenge us.

Today it’s Amos. He preaches and prophesies some tough stuff and the folks in the temple at Bethel complain about him.  He says, “Don’t blame me. I didn’t choose this. Did you hear what he said, “I was no prophet, nor have I belonged to a company of prophets; I was a shepherd and a dresser of sycamores?”

I’m from Brooklyn. The only real job I ever had was delivering Coca Cola. Sometimes I wonder how the heck I ended up doing this.

Today’s gospel triggered for me the reality of two’s in life. Jesus said to travel two by two.

I like long trips with one person.

How about you?

I drove up and back to New Jersey on Tuesday and Wednesday with Father William Guri. He’s here from Zimbabwe in Africa and is getting his doctorate in Pastoral Counseling from Loyola. I asked him if he wanted to go up for a picnic to Long Branch, New Jersey,  for the guys in our province and he said, “Great.”

The picnic was wonderful - but I liked the one to one much better.

I could sit down - look at my life  - and come up with 25 such drives at least and figure out what that other is like - and what I learned from being with that person on that  trip.

For 8 ½ years - years before I came to Annapolis, I worked on the road with a guy named Tom Barrett. We mainly  did Ohio - preaching in a different parish every week - for about 25 weeks in the year.  We would drive to a place - work there - interact with a pastor - and a parish - and then drive to the next place - talking as we drove  about what it was like to be in a place like Napoleon or Holgate or Paulding, Ohio.

Life: what a great learning experience.

And it’s great to learn with one another.

CONCLUSION

Looking at your life, what have been your one to one experiences?

Why did you pick your maid of honor or your best man at your wedding?

What is the state of your relationship with that person right now?

Why did you marry the person you married - if you married?

If you’re both still alive and both still together, what has the trip been like?

How can you make it better?

As Kojak - with lolly pop in mouth,  used to put it, “Talk to me!”

Then he might add, “Who loves you, baby?”

Then he would say again, “Talk to me!”

In today’s gospel Jesus talks about the dust of a town settling on the person who visits there. Jesus then said, “If a town rejects you, shake off the dust of that town and go somewhere else.”

I’m hoping some wonderful dust - the dust of another  - has settled on each of  you and you don’t want to shake it off - because you realize the other is sacred dust, sacred earth, sacrament for you.

I’m hoping the dust of a dozen wonderful places where you lived and visited and went to school or had neighbors - is dust you don’t want to shake off. Amen.


______________________

* Painting on top: Eugene Burnand [1850-1921] The Disciples, Peter and John, Running to the Tomb on Easter Sunday Morning [1898]



July 15, 2018


WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

People ask each other all the time,
“Where are you from?” They hear
our accent …. They look at our skin ….
They wonder: “Where are you from?”

Do I tell them that I’m from my parents
and they were the oldest and next to 
the youngest in their families - and they were 
from another country and another language?

Do I tell them about being the youngest
in my family and the schools I went to
and the places and people I’ve met and
been with - and what happened along the way?

Where am I from? I know and I don’t know.
And by the way, I’m still happening.
I’m still learning and listening. And I too am 
still wondering where I came from myself.


© Andy Costello, Reflections 2018
Father William Guri introduced
me to this Ted Talk last week.
I want to tag it here for you as well.

July 15, 2018 



Thought for today: 

“I  do  occasionally  envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles.  Just like having an ear for music or something.   It would just never occur to such a person for a second that the world isn’t about something.”  


Woody Allen, 
Rolling Stone, 1987