Saturday, October 1, 2016

October 1, 2016

MY LIFE

My life is in little boxes,
in bottom drawers.

OK - the other stuff that
everyone sees is my
car and my house,
my family and my friends,
my hair and my skin,
my clothes and my
theories and my comments.

But the real stuff is in the
little boxes - that I empty out
onto my bed from time to time
and wonder about my moments.

That’s the real stuff.
Wouldn't you like to know?


© Andy Costello, Reflections 2016

Friday, September 30, 2016


SPOOL OF THREAD

The spool of thread fell….

It unraveled as it rolled
across the wooden floor.

My fingers still held the
lead of the thread - that
I was trying to put through
the eye of the needle.

That’s when the spool
slipped out of my hands.

I laughed. Spiders - leaves -
skin - do their repairs
without incident every time.

Me? I’m unraveling and
slipping as I walk across
wooden floors with holes
in my socks from now on.


 © Andy Costello, Reflections 2016


Thursday, September 29, 2016

September 29, 2016

WHICH  QUESTION  IS THE 
TOUGHEST  QUESTION  
FOR ME TO ANSWER? 


Blessings?
Wow moments?
Mistakes I made?
Feel guilty about?
Ashamed of?
Regrets?
If I could do ____ all over again?
Things I’m proud of?
Shocks?
Surprises?
Successes?
Failures?
Moments that gave me a life insight?
Turning points in my life?
What others are saying about me?
What I’m saying about myself?
If you only knew the following about me …?
Lies I’ve told?
Exaggerations about something I did?
Moments I felt best about myself?
Someone I can really talk to?
Deaths?
God moments?
Atheistic moments?
Deep gratitude moments?
Moments I felt cherished?
Greatest moment of my life so far?
Moments I felt lied to?
Dumped?
Saved by?



© Andy Costello, Reflections 2016
Statue on top: The Thinker by
Auguste Rodin [1840-1917]
At first the statue was entitled,
"The Poet."  It was Dante
looking down into the
circles of hell.




P.S.  If you want to make this a self-test, get a piece of paper or use the computer and put a 3 before every one of these questions.  E.g., “3 moments I felt best about myself?” or “3 God moments?” or “3 biggest regrets”.  If you do that, this will be Self-Test # 26 on my blog.

WHAT HOLDS US BACK?


INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 26th Wednesday in OT  is, “What Holds Us Back?”

Today’s gospel  - [Luke 9: 57-62]  - triggers that thought - that question - especially . But Job also had a lot on his back to weigh him down - and hold him back. [Cf. Job 9: 1-12, 14-16.]

So a few thoughts on the question, “What Holds Us Back?”

I suspect this homily is more for procrastinators like me - compared to those who get a lot done every day.

FURTHER QUESTION

The next question should be: from what?  Holds us back from what?

Answers: from being a better Christian, wife, husband, grandmother, grandfather, son, daughter, brother, sister, listener, giver, worker.

What’s holding us back from being better?

I sense that’s like a sign above every work desk: “What’s holding you back?”

CANDIDATES - EXCUSES - EXCUSES

I don’t know about you, but time and laziness hold me back from doing all that I would like to do in life.

Once I hit 75, I find myself repeating Clint Eastwood’s line from the Dirty Harry movie, Magnum Force, when Harry Callahan says, “A man has to know his limitations.”

So for starters, laziness and limitations hold me back.

So to, too many pulls in too many ways - and then an inner voice says, “Baloney! You’re just too lazy.”

No? Yes?  But at times I have a lot to do. Don’t we all?

MAKING LISTS

So we make our lists.

Sometimes we write them out.

Most of the time the things we are putting off are like a dripping faucet - drip, drip, drip. Get moving. You know what you’re supposed to do, do, do, do.

At other times they are like a bulldog growling at our feet. “You gotta, gotta, gotta….” 

So life has a lot of gotta, gotta, gotta’s. Life has lots of do, do, do, do. You gotta do this.

Listen to self. We’re a broken record. Listen!

“I still haven’t called the doctor. I still haven’t written that Thank You note. I still haven’t paid that bill. I still haven’t cleaned that closet. I still haven’t gotten rid of that stack of magazines. You’ll never read them. I still haven’t given my so and so a call. It’s at least two months now - and the anniversary of her husband’s death has come and gone.”

TALK ABOUT GETTING DONE

When I listen to Job in The Book of Job,  I pick up that he realizes God does an awful lot.

That’s different from what I hear many people saying. Too many people are daily complainers about what God does not do? Job sees God keeping this vast universe going.

Let me do back to today’s first reading from the Book of Job.   We hear Job realizing God’s in charge of the sun and the stars. Job writes,

He alone stretches out the heavens
and treads upon the crests of the sea.
He made the Bear and Orion,
the Pleiades and the constellations of the south;
He does great things past finding out,
marvelous things beyond reckoning.

And yet we still scream down deep  to this busy God of ours - especially when things are going wrong in our life. “God, what are you doing? Where are you when I need you?”

We all have our list  of what God should be doing.

Does God have a list for us - on what we’re supposed to be doing?

TODAY’S GOSPEL

Today’s gospel has Jesus calling people but they have excuses: “I gotta bury my father.”   “I have to go back home and do some things there first.”

Jesus says, put your hand to the plow and stop looking back.

Put your hands to the plow and stop looking sideways.

CONCLUSION: THE BIGGEST COMPLAINT

Let me close with what I think is the biggest thing that holds us back.

It’s comparing ourselves to others.

It’s when we spend too much inner time - inner complaining we do about others not doing their part.


I don’t but I want to say to complainers. Let me walk around inside you for 20 minutes and I’ll tell you to stop your complaining about others - and do what you are being called to do.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

September 28, 2016

WOODEN

Admiring a wooden floor, a baseball
bat, a wooden table, a wooden statue -
touching the grain - the cut of wood -
mahogany, maple - oak - realizing this
was in the forest - in the rain - in the
sun - in the dark quiet,  unnoticed -
sacred - one of many - seeing the
forest and not the trees - but now -
this floor, this chair, this table, this
wood - has found a home - a place
to shine, wax eloquent - but do we
wonder if it misses - feels bad - has
survival syndrome - because all that
other wood it was neighbor to has
been burnt, rotted, or ended up as a
pallate in a factory or a cross on a hill.




© Andy Costello, Reflections 2016

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

September 27, 2016

SIGNATURE

Who was the first painter to put
their name on the bottom corner
of their painting? “I did this!”

Up till that moment, did an artist
feel a tinge of scream wanting to
let everyone know: “This is my work!”?

In every house, if we look around,
we’d find pillows, couch blankets,
knickknacks, crafted without a name.

What have I done? What have I made
that screams out to all, “I made this.
I did this. I was here. I have a name.”?



© Andy Costello, Reflections 2016
Painting: Pablo Picasso,
Bullfight III, Feb. 25, 1960

Monday, September 26, 2016

September 26, 2016

CIRCUMFERENCE


We start out with such a tiny circumference:
egg and sperm - becoming one. Then we
slowly grow within our mom’s inner circle -
then birth - the baby screaming and squinting
and squirming for the new - reaching for the
round sun in the day and slivers of the round
moon in the night - enjoying the round earth
for life. We are aware of  our 3 clear circles:
sun, moon, and earth. Crawling, standing,
walking on the circumference of the earth -
on floors, rugs, playgrounds, sidewalks,
classrooms, the green of fields - roads.
Around and around on the merry-go-round -
the circle of life, reaching for the shiny ring -
marriage, babies, rolling on and on and on -
till the ball stops rolling -  the earth slows
down for us - and we shuffle and crawl -
as we age - but all is well - if way back when -
we chose to let the circumference of God
and the circumference of others dissolve -
and we discover the Boundlessness of God - 
Others - Eternity - All - without circumference.




© Andy Costello, Reflections 2016