FAMILY:

THE SOUNDS OF THE HEART

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Family: The Sounds of the Heart.”

This Sunday after Christmas - is called, “Holy Family Sunday.”  The Church asks us to look at our family. How are we doing? What’s going on? What does our family look like?  What about the upcoming year?  What needs attention?  Who needs to be noticed? Is there anyone who is lost that needs to be found?

Family…. Evaluation ….  Recommendations…..

Recommendation - suggestion: every once and a while -  grab a newspaper - find a comfortable chair - put the newspaper up to your face. Don’t read it. Close your eyes. Listen carefully to the sounds in your home.

When we get a physical check-up,  the doctor puts a stethoscope to our heart - to our lungs - to our back and front. What does the doctor listen for? What sounds does she hear?  Are there unhealthy sounds? Are there healthy sounds?

If we give our family a check-up, what sounds do we hear? What’s the diagnosis? What’s the prognosis? What’s healthy? What’s unhealthy?  When was the last time we had a family check-up?

The title of my homily is, “Family: The Sounds of the Heart.”

TODAY’S READINGS

In today’s first reading from 1 Samuel and today’s gospel from Luke we hear about something many families do: they bring their child to the temple - to the Lord - for blessings, in thanksgiving, for celebration.

In  today’s second reading from 1 John 3, all of us are seen as children - children in the family of God - called to believe, called to love, called to have confidence in God. In other words, to see ourselves in the family of God the Father - with Jesus as our brother.

The Psalm for today - Psalm 84 - simply says: “Blessed….”  or - “Happy are those who dwell in the house of the Lord - in his courts.”

Obviously, many people believe Church, religion, faith, helps with family and life. The statistics bear this out. We have to keep reflecting upon the old saying, “The family that prays together, stays together.”

WOULD YOU ADD ANYTHING TO THAT FORMULA?

Would you add anything else to that formula? 

I would add: The family that plays together, stays together. The family that eats together, stays together. The family that take time for each other, stays together.  When was the last time you as a family found yourself sitting at the family table for an hour at least after the meal was over?  That to me is a barometer. Hint. Hint. Hint.

In preparing for marriage, I always ask a couple what they think are the 3 key things - 3 key ingredients - to put in the mix to make a great salad or meal or cake called marriage.

Answers: communication, honesty, respect, love, time together, fun --and God and faith and forgiveness sometimes sneak onto the list.

What would you list as the 3 key ingredients for a strong family? After listing your 3, score yourself on a 1 to 10 scale, 10 being the highest score.

Then as Nike puts it: Just Do It!

TOLSTOY ON FAMILY

I’m sure you have heard Leo Tolstoy’s [1828-1910] comment  about families:  “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

Those are the opening words of his novel Anna Karenina [1875-1877]. The 5^th or 6^th if you include a TV series, English version of the book is out as a movie right now - starring Keira Knightly. One reviewer said, “Skip the movie. Read the book.”

We know the stuff that destroys family: cheating, lying, jealously, breaking one’s vows and promises. Tolstoy’s book talks about the unhappy consequences of sin and selfishness. Being a novelist, he’ll present unhappiness in it’s own way. He gives names and situations when people poison themselves and self destruct.

The title of my homily is, “Family: The Sounds of the Heart.” I would hope the movie will challenge viewers to listen to the sounds of their own hearts - listening to their personal happy and unhappy sounds - their own healthy and unhealthy sounds - hearing their own “Oh no!” sounds - as well as their “Oh wow!” inner sounds.

Which would have the greatest impact: seeing the movie or reading the book? Only the reader or viewer can answer that. I noticed that there are at least 9 English translations of the 864 pages in Russian of the book. Rosemary Edwards - translator of the 1954 Penguin English translation said that one of Tolstoy’s major themes is: “No one can build their happiness on another’s pain.”

HINT, HINT, HINT

In looking up stuff on family to come up with this homily, I noticed not only Tolstoy’s quote, but also the word “hint” in the writings of Robert Frost.

I like his poems - and unlike Anna Karenina - I’ve read the big fat book of Frost’s poems - as well as stuff about Frost and his family and his marriage - but I never noticed the word “hint” before.

I noticed it in this quote by Frost  about family, “The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn’t intended.”

What does that mean?

I need to think about that. Hint. Hint. Hint. I’m suggesting you to think about it as well.

Are we a bunch of hinters?  Are we a bunch of not so clear communicators?  Are we all so wrapped up in ourselves and our cell phones and computers and TV sets - that we’re not picking up the hints - the signals - we all give off.

Frost made his comment well before these modern gadgets - so he’s saying that people are hinting or not hinting during his time.  And Tolstoy is saying folks are making these hints, sounds and signals in  the late 19^th century, the time of Anna Karenina. And Jesus was well aware of the sounds of the human heart in his time - sounds that became part of the gospels -  the scriptures - the sounds we hear in every relationship and every family.

Does every marriage that broke up - have the people saying, “I was so stupid. I missed the hints that were there all along!”?

Are we giving hints in our marriage and our family  that we need to be heard, listened to, respected, given time to, eat with, play with, pray with, take a walk with, or a drive with, or left alone - and given our space?

We’re slow - if I hear Frost. And if I hear Frost in his poems and his writings - we get nature’s hints easier than each other’s eyes, throats, twists, turns, the sound of our words, etc. etc. etc.

Hint. Hint. Hint.

If I hear Frost’s life - he had lots of family problems - as a child with an alcoholic father - who died when Robert Frost was around 11 - and then his marriage was rather wintery - like New England winters can be - with a cold marriage - a death of he and Elinor’s first son Elliot as a baby. Two daughters had marriages that had nasty divorces - and one son, Carol, committed suicide. Tough stuff.

Family life needs lots of attention and work.

The title of my homily is, “Family: The Sounds of the Heart.”

In this homily I’m hinting that the family sounds are lots of hints - which we’re slow in getting.

Get them before it’s too late.

Robert Frost once made another comment about hints. We’re aware of two people mentioned in this comment - Ben Franklin and Sir Isaac Newton. Frost asked, “How many times it thundered before Franklin took the hint!  How many apples fell on Newton’s head before he took the hint! Nature is always hinting at us. It hints over and over again. And suddenly we take the hint.”

CONCLUSION

Of course clear blue communication is better than the hints - but maybe family life would be better if we start with the hints. Why not read or view each other - as if each of us was a book or a movie? Then we can talk to each other about what we’re seeing - what the other is showing - by simply beginning with a question, “Are you trying to give me a hint here?”

Silence! 

“Okay, just wondering….”

Then an hour later we hear, “Well, yes, I was trying to say ….”

FAMILY

Quote for today - December 30, 2012

Family: "The we of me."

Carson McCullers

WHAT WOULD IT TAKE 

FOR YOU TO SAY OR PRAY 

YOUR NUNC DIMMITIS?

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “What Would It Take For You To Say Or Pray Your Nunc Dimittis?”

As you know the Nunc Dimittis are the first two words in Latin of the prayer of Simeon in the Gospel of Luke 2: 29-32.

“Nunc dimittis

servum tuum,

Domine,

secundum verbum tuum

in pace.”

           "Now you can dismiss
            your servant,
            Lord,
            according to your word
            in peace."

In the Christian Church it became a traditional night prayer for folks before they went to sleep. It’s part of the Big Three prayers: the Benedictus for Morning Prayer, the Magnificat for Evening Prayer and the Nunc Dimittis for Night Prayer.

WHAT DOES IT TAKE FOR YOU TO HAVE A GOOD DAY

The title of my homily is, “What Would It Take For You To Say Or Pray Your Nunc Dimittis?”

Before we get to the end of one’s life - as the prayer was said by Simeon when he met the Messiah in Mary’s arms, why not begin by asking that question of one’s day?

When saying our night prayers, we pause and reflect upon our day. What was it like? Did we do anything to make life sweeter for those around us? We might know mistakes and say we’re sorry, but why not concentrate on the positive things we did that day - the good dids more than the didnots - the positives instead of the dumb things or hurtful things?

What makes a good day for us? I’ve met lots of people who are getting married. Then sometimes tell me they didn’t realize till they met the right person, that they had a check list or what have you. Do we all unconsciously have a check list for what makes a good day?

We could ask that of a movie, a meal, a book, a vacation, a meeting - maybe some people have a check list for a sermon as well.

At the end of a day, can we go to bed in peace, grateful that we made the world better that day because we were there?

WHAT DOES IT TAKE FOR YOU TO HAVE A GOOD LIFE?

Do we all have a list about what it takes to have a good life?

I strongly believe that we do. Moreover, for starters, we go through that check-list without even knowing we’re doing it - for others when we are in the funeral parlor or at a funeral service - concerning the person who has died?

Somewhere in Simeon’s life he came to the realization that he would not see death, till he saw the Messiah.  So every day when he came to the temple, he was watching. It was #1 on his bucket list - before he kicked the bucket.

What’s on our list - that if it happened - we could say and pray our Nunc Dimittis?

For many people it’s that someone in the family comes back to the family. For many it’s that we see our children who have dropped out of church back in church - for real. If I got a dollar for every time someone asked me the question: what happened that my son or daughter or 4 of them have dropped out or gone to another church - and they went to Catholic school? It’s usually a person - a relationship - a relative - that would get us to say Simeon’s prayer.

CONCLUSION

Sometimes folks see their dream and their prayer come true. A kid comes home. A kid comes back to church.

Some folks realize what Simeon came up with, that it is Jesus who is the Savior and Messiah who helps make this happen - especially when we put it into his hands.

Ooops! And there is often a catch: often, most of the time, this takes a lot of waiting and a long time before it happens - please God - soon!  

PROCRASTINATION

Quote for Today - December 29, 2012

"I could give no reply 
except a lazy and drowsy, 
'Yes, Lord, Yes. 
I'll get to it right away; 
just don't bother me 
for a little while.'  
But 'right away' 
didn't happen right away; 
and 'a little while' 
turned out to be 
a very long while."

St. Augustine

HOLY AND  INNOCENT: 

IT’S DIFFICULT TO BE BOTH

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Holy And Innocent: It’s Difficult to Be Both.”

As we reach this feast of the Holy Innocents - December 28^th - every year - we reflect upon the death of children - innocent children - whether it’s here in the time of Christ as in today’s gospel or whether it’s today in school shootings, or drone attacks, violent ruining, raping, and destroying homes and villages around our world - during which innocent children are killed - as well as the many abortions that happen each day.

Okay - in a way - it’s easy sitting here - to look at all that and make disapproval sounds like, “Tch … tch…tch!”  - because we are so far from Syria and Somalia - and in that way it’s easy to be against the slaughter of the innocents.

We all know it’s easier to rant about abortion and homosexuality - till we discover these stories in our own families - or when friends tell us how they feel when these issues were made paramount in the voting season.

BUT

But if we want to be challenged today, here is a challenge: climb high above the territory and look at the killing of innocents that me, myself, and I do, in a multitude of unholy - not-so-innocent  ways.

Where the tire hits the road - at least for me - is the way I abort others by my judgments - by my neglect of others - by my not listening - by my avoiding of others - by the way I kill a tiny bit of the spirit of another - by a put down, a dig, a way I want the other to be other than they are. I can be standing there listening to another - but in reality,  I can’t wait to run back - to escape back to my warm, “liquidy” safe womb - room - inside my mind - to hide in my own quiet personal inner space.

To be holy - Jesus told us to notice - to stop - to help - the hurting and wounded on the road.

To be holy - Jesus showed us that he noticed who touched the hem of his garment - those who were tugging at him for life - for attention - for recognition.

To be holy - Jesus made us aware of who’s really putting their whole self into the basket - their 2 cents - while others are putting in the not of their being, the fluff and foam off the top.

To be holy - Jesus showed us he was aware of life within - the others - reading their hearts and minds.  He certainly knew the kick in the womb - of  the unborn - unheard from - those who were sent packing to leave the community because of leprosy or sin - those who tend to be pelted by rejection rocks.

To be holy - Jesus showed us he was aware of cemeteries - not so much the ones - along our roads - or those on the edge of cities - but he was aware of cemeteries inside people's minds and hearts - or those garbage dumps within - the hell on this side of hell.

That's some of the holy; here are a few ways of the innocent.

To be innocent is to be childlike - to have a sense of play - and not to be the one who is always so, so, so serious.

To be innocent is to be childlike - and to know whether the other is aware of me - or others - not by the color of our skin or the amount of wrinkles we have - or perfume or aftershave on - or the cost and quality and look of our clothes - but because we and others are all are children of God - so we put down our papers or we stop our babbling and give all little ones our love and attention.

CONCLUSION

So on this Feast of the Holy Innocents, we can picture that scene in the scriptures in Bethlehem when Herod tried to kill all future opposition - by killing all the little baby boys  - or we can look at our everyday encounters, meetings, experiences with each other - and be challenged to give life to one another and not ignoring or cutting off the presence of life just in front of us.  Tough stuff. 

OOOOOOO

Painting on top - one of the graphic abortion paintings by William Kurelek [1927-1977]

HARDENING  THE  HEART

Quote for Today - December 28, 2012

"Too long a sacrifice
Can make a stone of the heart."

William Butler Yeats  [1865-1939], Michael Roberts and the Dancer [1921], stanza 4

Questions:

When is it time to take a break?

When is it time to scream?

When is it time for the divorce?

When is it time to disappear?

ST. JOHN:

THE GREAT UNDERNEATH

Quote for the Day - December 27, 2012 - 
Feast: St. John the Evangelist

"There is, one knows not 
what sweet mystery about this sea, 
whose gently awful stirrings 
seem to speak of 
some hidden soul beneath;  
like those fabled undulations 
of the Ephesian sod 
over the buried Evangelist St. John. 

And meet it is, 
that over these sea pastures, 
wide-rolling watery prairies 
and Potters' Fields of all four continents, 
the waves should rise and fall, 
and ebb and flow unceasingly; 
for here, millions 
of mixed shades and shadows, 
drowned dreams, 
somnambulisms, reveries; 
all that we call lives and souls, 
lie dreaming, dreaming, still; 
tossing like slumberers in their beds; 
the ever-rolling waves 
but made so by their restlessness."

Herman Melville [1819-1891], Moby Dick [1851], Chapter 111



Comments:

Read this piece from Moby Dick slowly and go underneath the words. Has anyone else called the ocean a pasture or a prairie or a Potter's field? Read the Gospel of John as looking out at the ocean from the deck of a ship - and think about what's underneath the surface of the words. 

The top picture is of the Atlantic Ocean last September and the middle picture is that of St. John's possible grave in Ephesus from 2011.