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HOW AM I DOING?
INTRODUCTION
The title of my homily is, “How Am I Doing?”**
TODAY’S READINGS
I read today’s readings and it struck me that as far as I know, nobody in this parish is a shepherd.
Yet the readings challenge shepherds to be good shepherds.
Then it hit me: what about all the other roles we play in life? How am I doing as a mom or a dad, a husband or a wife, a brother or a sister, a friend, a fireman or a coach, a neighbor or a driver, a dentist or a bar tender?
How am I doing?
THE EXPERIENCE OF MEETING A NEAT PERSON
Haven’t we all been to a restaurant and the waiter or waitress was neat. She was there for us, but out of ear shot. She was there when we wanted a refill on water. She had scanned all the glasses as she was walking by after taking the orders from two tables away. She was there when we wanted the bill. And in between we found out – because we asked her – that she’s at Anne Arundel Community College and hopes to finish at Maryland. She wants to be a lawyer some day. And she told us this rather quickly, because she had work to do.
We’re driving through a toll booth heading east on the Bay Bridge. We don’t have E-Z Pass and in that 7 seconds of giving the guy a 5 dollar bill and getting our $2.50 in change – we experience neat positive energy, a smile, a “Have a great day!” and we have a tiny up-draft in our spirit as a result of that quick simple human transaction.
We’re at the beach and we’re relaxing with some folks renting next door and we’re talking about high school – and we begin talking about teachers and we jump in with praise for a great teacher we had in our high school junior year – and the lingering neatness of that person is still with us after 35 years.
We’re on vacation in Wyoming or South Carolina and we find a Catholic Church for Sunday morning – and we’re having breakfast afterwards – and we’re saying to each other. “That priest seemed like such a nice guy. The sermon was excellent and it was only 5 minutes. He got to the point – said it – gave a great example – and that was it. Neat.” And a month later we realized we told at least 15 people about a wonderful church and priest we experienced in Wyoming or South Carolina.
QUESTIONS
Is there anyone on the planet this summer bragging about us – and they haven’t seen or been with us in 35 years?
What kind of aftertaste do I leave?
What will they be saying about me at my funeral?
Or better, what do the nurses say about us at a coffee break when we’re in room 356? Will someone say, “Patient 356 is the most impatient patient I’ve had in that room this year?” Or would they say, “Room 356: neat person?”
How am I doing?
What are the ingredients – qualities – gifts – we expect of others?
What are my expectations for a fellow worker – a neighbor – a friend?
What happens when I walk in a room?
What happens when my kids see me getting out of the car and heading for the house?
Am I able to describe myself as a spouse, dad, mom, friend, neighbor, car pool person, driver?
Could I answer the question, “How am I doing?” Or do we need to get that feedback from others? Is the old saying true: “No one can be judge in their own case or cause?” ["In propri cuus nemo judex."]
ANSWERS
Today’s first reading, in giving a job description for a good shepherd, begins negatively. Jeremiah says “Woe to the shepherds who mislead and scatter the flock of my pasture, says the Lord.”
Jeremiah says that the Lord wants shepherds who care for the sheep – bring them to good meadows – shepherds who don’t scare the sheep – shepherds who don’t lose sheep.
When Jesus gave his message about being a good shepherd, he gives pretty much the same message. The distinction that hits me: am I a hireling or a real shepherd. Is it a job or is it a pleasure to be with you? Do I know the sounds of those I’m with each day? Can I read faces, moods, attitudes? [Cf. John 1o:1-18]
Today’s Psalm in between the first and second readings – the famous Psalm 23 – has the best description of a good person that I’ve ever heard, “Only goodness and kindness follow me all the days of my life.”
Let’s be honest, most of us get mixed reviews. Is that why the marriage vows have the worse with the better?
I don’t know of any elected official who has 100 % approval ratings.
I remember mentioning in a sermon something that I read somewhere. “When it comes to being a priest, 1/3 like you, 1/3 don’t like you, 1/3 don’t care either way.” I have had people say you’re doing a good job and I know some people that wish it was another priest who came down the aisle – but they’re stuck with me.
And I know when it comes to preaching, we’re not in the business of preaching to be liked. The task is to try to capture and proclaim a message from the readings of the day. However, when it comes to being a human being, who wants negative ratings or to be disliked?
As priest I have given many workshops, missions, retreats where they ask folks to fill out evaluation forms. Then they give the results to the speaker. To be honest I am only appreciative of specific recommendations – specific suggestions where I could improve.
I remember giving a presentation on “Skills for Running Small Groups” to the priests of the Syracuse Diocese. The priests had the option to go to various speakers. I gave the same talk twice: in the morning and again in the afternoon – on a two and a half day program. Then the other half of the diocese came for the second half of the week – and once more I gave that presentation twice. The numbers kept going down. Obviously, they were talking to each other. Obviously, people asked people, “Who’s good? Who’s not?”
If you’re in the business, you got to be able to take the heat.
Some of you, upon hearing that, might say, “I gotta give that guy a cookie. He’s gotta be feeling bad.”
Nope. I’m a diabetic.
Nope. But the readings for today challenge me to ask, “How am I doing as a priest?” because "shepherd" is a word used especially for the pope, bishops, pastors and priests.
And today we Redemptorists are celebrating the feast of Christ the Redeemer. How are we Redemptorists doing here at St. Mary’s and how are we doing around the world?
Being specific, I hope I have improved through the years. I know when I do a good job, a decent job, a poor job. And there are times when I don’t know how I did.
Then I remember what my mom and so many other folks have said, “Do your best! In fact, that’s all you can do.”
Then I remember a story I heard Father Mike Dillon, a Redemptorist, say at least a dozen times. He’d say, “As Father Mike Downing used to say. ‘Do your best! And if they don’t like your best, they’ll get a replacement.’”
CONCLUSION
Let me move the energy that I might have generated in how priests are doing to all of us here today. What would it be like to have evaluation forms on our kitchen table? What would it be like if all of us were evaluated as spouse, parent, brother, sister, friend, coworker, insurance sales person, usher, or driver or how we park?
Today’s gospel has Jesus needing to escape – needing a rest. He tells his disciples, “Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.”
They tried it – but as we heard, it didn’t work. They got crowded. Evidently Jesus had something everyone wanted.
Yet Jesus needed space and he did find it at times.
How about you? Do you take walks by yourself? Do you escape from everyone at times while on vacation? Do you talk to loved ones from time to time on how you’re doing as a spouse or parent or what have you?
Evaluations are tough stuff. Those of you who work in places where there is peer evaluation know what I’m talking about.
If done well, calmly, with specifics, we’d have better marriages, stores, medical practices and parishes.
“Ooops!” on that last one: parishes. Sermon and Mass and parish evaluations are rare.
Enough already, in case you’re a short sermon advocate and you’re evaluating my time. My time goal is 10 minutes. How did I do?
How are you doing?
How are we doing as the flock of Christ the Good Shepherd here at St. Mary’s Annapolis. Good or Baaaaaa? [Make sheep sound!]
*Painting on top: Christ the Good Shepherd, from Cameroon
** This is Ed Koch's, former mayor of New York City, question.
