WHERE WE SIT
INTRODUCTION
The title of my homily is, “Where We Sit.”
One of the themes Sirach and Luke, the authors of today’s first reading and today’s gospel, want us to think about is humility.
One warning. John Selden in Table Talk – from way back in 1689 said, “Humility is a virtue all preach, none practice, and yet everyone is content to hear. The master thinks its good doctrine for his servant, the laity for the clergy, and the clergy for the laity.”
So some thoughts about humility entitled, “Where We Sit.”
TODAY’S GOSPEL
Today’s gospel has Jesus commenting about those who want the best seats at wedding banquets. He has been invited to dine at the home of one of the leading Pharisees – and he’s sitting there watching the show.
Where we sit – what we see – what we observe – what we learn – can provide us with a great non-degree education.
Sit back and watch.
Find a good seat in the Mall, in church, in Ego Alley in Annapolis or anywhere, and watch the show. But make sure you can laugh – especially at yourself.
And Jesus tells the story about a man who takes a front seat at a banquet. Then someone more important shows up and the host has to go up to the front of the room and whisper in the man’s ear, “I need the seat you’re sitting in for Mr. and Mrs. Moreimportant. Would you mind if I have them sit here, and you sit back there at table 732?”
And the others are watching all this. And the man – red in the face with embarrassment – and probably with some anger – stands up and crawls to the back of the room.
I don’t know about you – but at weddings, I don’t like to be up front and especially at the head table. Sometimes they put priests up there – and half the meal you’re by yourself – because the bride and the groom and the bridal party are working the room. I also like it in the back – far from the drummer and the electrical guitars.
At baseball games – front row seats are great.
Someone said, “Why is that most people want the front seat in the bus, the back seat in church and the middle of the road?”
Where do you like to sit? On your seat of course. Do you have any embarrassment stories about having to move? How many times have we heard about someone going into the wrong rest room – come out of the stall and say, “Uh oh?”
KEY INGREDIENTS OF HUMILITY
Some key ingredients of humility are humor, honestly, humidity and hospitals.
We all sweat – especially when the humidity is high.
Life can be brutally honest – so it helps to be honest. Everyone looks the same in a hospital gown. And make sure you have those strings tied. Everyone knows what the most important seat in the house is.
And if we want to make it through life, we better be able to laugh at life – its twists and turns and funny stories. We better get a grasp on humility before we hit 60 – because somewhere along the line our body starts to send out messages. “Hey, I’m hurting here. Better check it out. There might be something wrong here.”
And humility, as we all know, especially if we’re gardeners, comes from the word, “humus” – earth – and into the earth we’re going to return - eventually.
Humility is the great big message we hear every Ash Wednesday when ashes are rubbed in our face, “Remember you are dust – dirty – and into dust, earth, the humus, the ground, you shall return.”
Aging and the journey towards death can be very humbling.
LEONARD AND DOLORES
I’m in Parkview Hospital in Fort Wayne, Indiana. I’m visiting Tom, the priest I worked with for 8 ½ years before I came here to Annapolis. Tom was in nasty car accident – skidding on the ice – out of control – and ending up in the other lane as a tractor trailer hit him.
He was in the hospital for 75 days – getting out on Good Friday. Resurrection and Easter came 2 days early for him that year.
His bowels broke. He became septic. He was unconscious for a few weeks. He would have died – except for powerful drugs and great medical folks. He was on dialysis – got a temporary colostomy, etc. Hospitals can provide very humbling experiences.
I was visiting him that day. I’m at his bed in the Intensive Care Unit – and the nurse asks me to leave for about 15 minutes because they have to do some stuff and change him.
I walk outside his Intensive Care station and almost immediately meet this big farmer, who says to me, “Oh good, Dolores is ready to see you right now.” I follow Leonard – I learned his name later on. He takes me in to see his wife who like Tom is unconscious. She has at least two dozen tubes in her – and the top of her head is shaved and cut and has several white gauze bandages.
I anoint Dolores and say some prayers for her with Leonard.
I end up seeing Dolores every time I go in the see Tom. Both were in intensive care for about 3 weeks. It was touch and go for both of them. She had a brain aneurism and they operated on her.
I would see Tom and then Leonard and Dolores for 2 ½ months – and then I took Tom home.
About a year later, I get a call from Dolores and Leonard. They wanted to come and see me in Lima, Ohio. She was out of the hospital and doing well.
They came to a Saturday evening Mass and then we went out to Ryan’s restaurant afterwards.
Surprise, while sitting there enjoying this meal with this couple, I find out about that first time I met Leonard. He had called his parish priest about 40 miles above Fort Wayne. He told him the doctor said it didn’t look good for Dolores and he better call his priest or minister. The priest said, “Okay, I’ll get someone there as soon as possible for Dolores.”
Surprise! Leonard thought I was the priest his priest was sending.
Sometimes we have to sit back – to figure out or find out – and it’s years and years later - what has really happened in our life.
And when we sit back and discover things about life – we laugh, we find out many things happened by accident. Sitting back can be very humbling.
Distance is good. Distance is good for discovery. Distance is good for humility.
The guy in the parable who found himself in the back of the room at the wedding banquet - must have seen a lot more about life - once his red face faded - than he would have seen in the front of the room.
Leonard and Dolores – what a wonderful couple! And we had a wonderful meal together – celebrating Dolores return to health.
For some reason, at that meal, Leonard – this big, tall 6 foot 2 farmer, began talking about his favorite cat – named "Hemorrhoid". And as he sat there he began telling a story that brought tears to his eyes. Not sobbing tears – but those wonderful tears that show up on our face with certain movies. He said this cat constantly got himself in trouble or would disappear. But one day, in the middle of a great rain storm, he was looking out the kitchen window and saw Hemorrhoid going back and forth to their barn bringing 4 kittens out of the storm and into the barn. Hemorrhoid was bringing them one by one holding them by their neck with his teeth. And then Leonard said, “That moment changed my whole outlook about Hemorrhoid.”
I said to myself, “I have to use this story somehow, someday, in a sermon. There’s a message in there somewhere.”
I guess we have to get hemorrhoids or go through a storm with someone to find out what we’re really made of.
MEALS
Meals – sit down meals – meals when we have time to share stories about cats and hospital visits – can teach us about humility – that we are all equal – we all sit down on similar bottoms – and it’s a good sign when we forget about ourselves – when we laugh – when we cry – when we celebrate the little things of life – not trying to prove ourselves better than each other – and discover every person wants to help the little ones when they are caught in a storm.
Meals – especially family meals – can be wonderful moments of humility – when we’re all equal – when someone says the wrong thing – when corn bread gets burnt – when someone says something really funny – when we are not rushing – when we are grateful for good food and good family or friends – when we’re dressed in a T-shirt and flip flops – after a long day at work in suit and tie or uniform – and we just relax at the family table - with beans and dogs – with meatloaf and mashed potatoes – and everything tastes great – watermelon and corn on the cob and we are one with each other.
INVITATION
I’m 67 and today’s gospel always hits me. In my whole life I’ve heard only a few stories of people inviting the homeless and the blind and the lame and the poor to their family table.
I know of no parish rectory where this has been done and to be honest and humble, I don’t expect to see it – and I don’t see myself initiating the project.
We’ve all given money so others can get a good meal – and I’ve heard of times when someone went in and ate with a panhandler – and found out who the other was. From time to time I have done it with panhandlers who came to the rectory door – but only one to one. It wasn’t an invitation to our community meal.
I do know that on Monday evenings and on Wednesday afternoons here at St. Mary’s, a lot of poor folks show up for help. And we have some great volunteers who do this week after week. Praise God. They sit with them. They listen to their stories. They do a lot of helping. The folks in this parish are very generous - and our St. Vincent de Paul Society does a outstanding job – week after week – year after year.
On Monday evenings or Wednesday afternoons, I’ve opened the door to come down the corridor to wait for a couple coming in for wedding information or someone who wants to talk. The corridor is filled with poor folks. It took me a while to say to myself, “Hey stupid, these folks are like all folks." So while waiting for someone else, I begin talking to some stranger who is stuck – who is not dressed that well or what have you. I sit down there on that bench in the lobby – and chat or be with the poor.
Everyday we have opportunities to talk to the persons we meet – strangers or associates – at work or here and there. Everyday we have choices to sit with people we have never sat with before.
CONCLUSION
Surprise! We’ll hear stories about cats in the rain – and husbands and wives worrying about a spouse or a parent who is quite sick.
Surprise! We’ll find out we’re the blind and the lame, the Pharisee and the poor.
Surprise – we’ll laugh and cry about life and ourselves.
It’s good to sit down and listen to each other. It’s good to sit down with oneself.
Humility: the ability to sit down and laugh at and with oneself .... the ability to be honest with oneself .... the ability to sit down on one’s bottom – and chew on life – and its funny realities. Amen.
Sit.
